crazy thoughts of m7/d v1.0

End of Hell Week

2011-09-04T07:19:00.000-07:00

I am glad to say I survived Hell Week more or less in one piece. Along the way I tested out my new Adizero Ace and so far it's in the pole position for my marathon race shoe. Oh, I also broke new ground in completing my longest run since I started the plan and at the same time broke through the 100k per week barrier. All in all, I can't complain too much.

Sunday Long Run/Marathon Specific Workout 1

Jog to Youth Park

25k run (5k easy with 20k at marathon effort) - 2.07.35

4 strides at the car park

Shoes: Adidas Adizero Ace

Today's was supposed to be the first marathon specific workout of the plan and actually called for marathon PACE. Since I had no marathon experience and my target pace will probably kill me at this point, I decided to do it at marathon EFFORT, iffy as it may seem. I was slightly late to the starting point and the rest of the morning runners have all set off. This was probably a blessing in disguise as I could just relax and not be sucked into chasing after people.

I was a bit unsure about how fast to run when it was time to crank up the pace, so I settled for being relaxed but moving well. The effort I was aiming for would not leave me too breathless. As I approached the turnaround for the first 15k loop, I picked up Yeoh. He picked up his pace and we ran together for the next few k. Not long after, we surprisingly caught up with Tiger. He told me he wasn't sure which route he was going to proceed on, so I invited him along.

After refueling back at the Youth Park car park, the 3 of us continued on the remaining 10k. The plan was to run to Botanical Gardens and do the balance via big and small loops. With 4 small laps to go, Yeoh decided to call it a day, leaving me and Tiger to press on. Despite not pushing off too hard with my stride, my legs were hurting at this point and I even felt a few twinges in the calves. Thankfully, those twinges did not develop into full blown cramping and I was able to run till the end. Tiger was just too strong or perhaps it was the 100 odd km already in my legs, but I felt myself losing contact at the end.

Having done such a grueling week, I will be reducing the mileage a bit for this week. Hopefully the injury demons will continue to stay far away.

Start of Hell Week: Raya Run

2011-08-29T23:42:00.000-07:00

In the nearly 1 month period since the last post, many things have happened in my running. My fitness had really picked up, only to plunge after holidaying in Taiwan for 9 days. The long road back to form was compounded by a bout of fever after arriving back home with a few new additions to my shoe arsenal. Still, I have to be grateful that the expected long journey back to my previous fitness turned out to be much shorter after the initial jolt to my body.

Easy steady run - Botanical Gardens, morning

Jog to the gardens

Light drills

14 small loops - 1.02.40

Shoes: Brooks Launch (newer, older pair retired)

With this week consisting of national and school holidays and rainy season wreaking havoc in the late afternoons, I decided to shift the main workouts to the morning. This way, the rains and holiday crowds can be avoided, somewhat. We avoided neither this morning, but they were still at a manageable level.

I woke up this morning to chilly temperatures with biting winds every now and then. It was a real struggle to get out of the door but the conditions were quite nice once I got warmed up a bit. I reached the gate of the gardens expecting an odd morning walker or two. Surprise, surprise the place was filled, especially considering it was 6am in the morning and it was dark as night.

Hoping to take advantage of this holiday week to log some serious mileage, I had early issued a clarion call to all my running buddies, but only 2 showed up today, Kok Leong and Andrew. Never mind, we just got on with the day's plan, at least 1 hour of easy steady running. This will be my longest run since before I left for Taiwan, so I was careful to not overextend myself.

The guys must have felt quite good though, as I constantly have to rein them in and remind them to control the pace a bit. A few laps in, it started to drizzled, but thankfully did not turn into a full blown downpour and stopped a couple of laps later. Right around this point, Boon, the veteran marathoner with a lifetime PR of 2.3x steamed by us. The temptation to ramp up the pace was really great at this point but I held myself back. There will be a time for that.

The pace got a bit faster the last few laps but still within relaxed levels. I threw in a few short surges as planned to break up the monotony. The last lap was supposed to be run as fast as possible while relaxed. Unfortunately, I felt my left calf start to twitch towards the end of the penultimate lap. That developed into jolts whenever I tried to extend my ankle forcefully on the last lap. Kok Leong took the lead and maintained a steady rhythm. Damage control was in order and I tried not to limp too much to the end. After we finished, Andrew told me that he was also suffering from similar twitchiness in his calf. I guess the cold conditions played a part.

All in all, it was an enjoyable run, as I told the guys halfway through, just like riding a bus.

Make Hay While the Sun Shines...

2011-08-04T07:13:00.000-07:00

... or rather run while the sun ain't shining that brightly. The decent rainfall yesterday night did help after all. Today's weather wasn't that hazy and got less so when it was time to run. In any case, I left the house a bit earlier than normal in a bid to get in some extra strength work. That plan wasn't entirely successful.

Hilly medium long run - Botanical Gardens

Jog to Youth Park, 5x short strides, proceed to the gardens

Light drills

10x big loops - 1.35.41

Light exercises

Jog back

Shoes: Brooks Green Silence

I had planned to follow up my strides at the Youth Park with some exercises, but ran out of time. As for the strides themselves, I didn't really feel smooth or fast. Oh well, the main work was still to come. At the gardens, I found out that I was going to have more pacers than usual with Siao Tieh and Ah Choon joining me and Ah Yeoh for the run.

For once, I managed to complete my run as planned. To give myself a better chance of finishing the punishing 10 laps, I decided to designate a few hydration breaks. It would be wise anyway to practise that for raceday. I had planned to drink up every 3 laps or so, but in the end we decided to drink every 4 laps as it just felt 'right'.

Mindful of the long road ahead, I was focused on running easy. With the super-fast Siao Tieh along, I needed to keep reminding myself to run easy. Even after he stepped off after the sixth lap, the pace threatened to get out of control. That's just the momentum at work. Still, we will probably pay for that at the latter stages.

Yeoh managed to hang on till the 2nd hydration break at the end of lap 8. After that, I had to make a monumental decision, one that will make history or collapse and fold instead. Nah, not really. The choice was whether to suffer alone for 2 more laps or give in and shoot the wind with the rest of the guys. Of course I chose to suffer. The lap immediately after rehydrating wasn't that hard. But as the gardens got darker and lonelier, the last lap felt like forever. Once again at this point, I didn't really sweat much anymore. I wasn't lying when I said this would be monumental though, since this is the first time I have done that many big loops. With that in mind, I forged on.

All in all, I was really pleased with this run. Nevertheless, there are much longer training runs up ahead. For now though, I prefer not too think too much about them. They are scary.

Suffocation and Suffering

2011-08-02T06:52:00.000-07:00

The skyline from my apartment looked a bit blurry and I feared the worse. Luckily, the haze cleared up a bit by the time it's time to run. Or so I thought, I was greeted with smoky looking air when I approached the gardens. To compound things, the bright sunlight and sweltering humidity did not abate.

Medium run - Botanical Gardens

Jog to the gardens

Light drills

17 small loops - 1.17.08

Light exercises

Jog back

Shoes: Brooks Launch (newer)

The original plan was to do 16 small loops with the last 7 at 15k to half marathon pace. Barely halfway through the first lap however, I decided to scratch that. The heat and humidity coupled with Ah Yeoh feeling the effects from yesterday's run made me change the run into a medium run of 20 small loops. Throughout the run, I kept the pace quite slow. Still, I found myself running into a heat wall for the last few laps. Ultimately, I cut the run short at 17 laps. By the end, I wasn't even sweating much, a sign that I need to hydrate.

The weather seems like it will hang around a bit and that's surely not welcome news. Nevertheless, training must go on, I just gotta slot some hydration in my runs.

Short and Sweet

2011-08-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

After taking the past 2 days off, I decided to turn today's rest day into an easy day with some speed thrown in. The effort level wasn't supposed to be too hard and it's supposed to be a prep for tomorrow's harder workout.

Fartlek+Hill strides - Botanical Gardens

Jog to the gardens

Light drills

3 small loops - easy-fast-easy

5 small loops+lilly pond - fartlek

8 short hill strides/sprints

Light exercises

Shoes: Nike Zoom Speed Lite ST+

While the workout got broken up into a few parts, I actually wanted to follow up the 3 small loops with a fartlek. The plan was to do the first lap easy, something like a warmup, then run the second fast with the third lap a bit slower but still fast. In other words, laps 2 and 3 were meant to simulate a race, partly done because there will be a race this Sunday. For this part of the workout, I have my usual pacer Ah Yeoh for company. Things didn't exactly go to plan. I ran the fast lap too fast, or rather my engine hasn't fully started up, and then tanked the third lap. I had to pause after those 3 laps before continuing the fartlek.

Siao Tieh joined us for this portion. Since I didn't wanna do anything too killer, I kept the fast parts short with each lap having only 2 or 3 of them. Recovery between those fast stretches was an easy jog. There were a few instances where I was tempted to blast the fast stretches, especially when Siao Tieh ramped up the pace, but I was able to rein myself in.

The final part of the workout were the hill sprints. Again, nothing too hard. The length of each rep was probably about 50 metres with generous recovery in between. The idea is to be able to run fast but relaxed. I gradually increased the speed of each rep, beginning with something like a stride to near all out sprints for the last few.

Overall, I was quite satisfied with the day's training. Hopefully this is the sign of things to come for this week's training.

Green Silence: Unsealed

2011-07-29T06:46:00.000-07:00

I was hoping to clock a long run today and decided to give my errant pair of Green Silence a shot. It was bought to be my long distance racer, but after a couple of underwhelming runs which resulted in my calves tightening up, I temporarily shelved them. Hopefully, they will prove their worth in today's run.

Botanical Gardens - medium long run

Jog to the gardens

Light drills

10 x small loop + 4 x big loop

Light drills and exercises

Bonus lap

Shoes: Brooks Green Silence

I actually woke up with sore leg muscles despite taking yesterday off. During the jog to the gardens, I did suffer a bit. Thankfully, the soreness subsided by the time I was ready to begin the long run. My pacers for the day were Yeoh and Neoh. My initial plan was to do 20 small loops from the other direction. Regardless of direction, the sheer number of laps meant we would have to be mindful of the pace.

Whatever plans for careful pacing quickly went out the window. Neoh's loud footsteps were messing up my rhythm. Imagine someone scratching their nails on a blackboard, loud and jarring footsteps probably have a similar effect on me, especially when they are shadowing me throughout my run. I was getting agitated and annoyed. Normally if this was a race situation I would have just put in a hard surge and dropped the offender, but doing that now might have toasted my training. I needed a plan fast.

Subconsciously I was already cranking up the pace, perhaps in hopes of getting away from the nasty sound. That didn't work, so by the third lap, I decided to switch things up. I turned towards the large loop. Hopefully I can gain some rhythm. And so it went, I alternated 2 small loops with a big one. Somehow, doing the big loop from the other direction helped. The long downhill at the end of the loop helped a bit in recovery. Since each big loop is about twice as long as a small loop, I was starting to feel the strain at the equivalent of lap 16. I decided to do 2 more, with the last lap being a fast but relaxed effort.

By this point, only Yeoh stuck around, in fact he was still right on my heels halfway through the last lap. The competitive side of me panicked a bit, I didn't wanna get outkicked. Somehow, I managed to widen the gap a bit after that as his footsteps fell away. I was able to relax a bit. To his credit, he surged again near the end but I managed to hang on.

Since this was my longest run since my 21k in KL, I am quite pleased with today's effort. Other than that, my Green Silence finally came through! They felt much better than both the Launches. It might be my marathon shoe yet, that is if it survives the training...

The Boot's on the Other Foot

2011-07-26T06:58:00.000-07:00

Since I was laid low by sickness more than a week ago, I have not set foot in Botanical Gardens. With tigers baying for my blood, it's time to answer the call.

Botanical Garden - Aerobic run

Jog to the gardens

45 min easy pace

Jog back

Shoes: Brooks Launch (newer)

Like the previous runs post-illness, the jog to the gardens was a slog. I don't think my gym soreness was the main reason, I just felt really heavy. At the meeting spot, Yeoh, Siau Tieh, Neoh were already waiting for me. I was a bit worried about being able to stay the course.

I planned to follow the workout prescribed in my programme, that meant 16 small loops with the first 9 easy and last 7 at 15k to half pace. I didn't really know how I would fare jumping into the deep end, but at the very least I must last longer than the other 2 post comeback runs.

The first lap was really really slow, the slowest I have run there in years. I picked up the pace for the subsequent laps, though they were still slow. Despite that, I could feel a bit of strain. Once I got past the halfway mark, I did feel a bit hopeful of completing the run. That hope got stuck in the pipeline a couple of laps later though. After 1 lap at a faster pace, I was toast. I stepped off just after completing 10 laps, leaving Yeoh and Siao Tieh to forge on.

Kudos to Yeoh for outlasting me this time. Anyway, today was still an improvement so no complaints.

Kenyan Style

2011-07-24T19:45:00.000-07:00

I was forced to take a break from training for more than a week due to sickness and some leftover malaise and I gotta be honest, coming back was hard. Physically, my body just felt tired but the damage was worse mentally. I found it easier to say 'not today' and keep pushing training off. I finally mustered enough gumption to step into the gym yesterday, and it wasn't pretty. I could barely do a couple of miles, never mind the long run I originally intended. The pace was anything but hot too.

After pulling the plug on that torture, I resolved to train hard, in the morning bla bla bla. Well, morning came, I got up and my inner couch potato was up to no good again. And that's despite it being absolutely beautiful running weather outside. It was already 9 but the sunshine was just warm enough with no trace of haze, since it rained the night before there was a really cool breeze too. With an epic inner struggle, I reminded myself of something I read somewhere, Kenyans tend to do their second daily run just before 10am. Living in Malaysia, that won't be possible most of the time, so I better grab this opportunity to emulate them. That sealed the deal, or maybe I embarrassed the inner couch potato too much with my half assed excuse, either way I was running on a nice grassy field with the wind in my hair. Ok, I lied, the field was crap and filled with ruts and roots and that breezy feeling lasted barely 2 laps before I struggled. 6 laps in, I was ready to throw in the towel. Somehow, I lied some more to myself and managed to sneak in a fartlek for the next few laps. All in all, I can't complain much, a bit more money in the bank.

On the Edge

2011-07-15T08:23:00.000-07:00

Today's weather was simply the best by far since I started this training plan. While it was slightly hazy in the morning, early afternoon showers came to the rescue. As a welcome side effect, the temperatures felt slightly cooler. With such nice conditions, I was looking forward to putting in some good miles today. Alas, training is like walking a fine line between soaring or crashing and I am probably close to the edge now.

Medium aerobic run - Botanical Gardens

Jog to Botanical Gardens

Easy drills

17x small loop

Light exercises

Jog back

Shoes: Brooks Launch (newer)

Despite being a bit fatigued from the previous workout, I was shooting for 20 small loops. To shake things up, I wanted to run counter to the usual direction. Joining me for this run is once again Ah Yeoh. However, there will be more company too in the form of Ah Wong, Ah Choon and Ah Neoh. The pace was supposed to be slow but I was quite worried some of the guys would get impatient. 5 laps in, the pace noticeably picked up. Before that, I noticed Ah Wong was speeding up a bit on the downhills and sure enough he initiated the surge. I managed to control myself and tried to stick to the plan.

A couple of laps later, Wong dropped out. He was followed by Choon and Neoh respectively. At least Ah Yeoh was still going strong. He flagged a little at the start of lap 12 and signaled for me to go on. I knew it would be tough to hit 20 laps then. I revised my target to a minimum of 17, which would at least my personal record for the highest number of loops completed. Unlike Tuesday, I didn't feel like I was being choked. Instead, my legs were weakening. Fortunately, lap 17 did not drag on forever and I even managed to turn my legs over a bit. Overall, it was an ok run and I felt that doing the small loop in this direction would be more even in terms of effort exerted. You can't really rest that much on the gradual downhills.

There were some minor aches and niggles in my legs, but the worse was yet to come. Once I got home, I was feeling a bit sick. Perhaps some bugs sensing a weakened immune system? Fortunately, I swiftly felt better after lying down a while.

Recovery turned medium run

2011-07-14T08:11:00.000-07:00

After taking yesterday off due to the haze, it was back to the Gardens again. Since I missed out on the long run scheduled for yesterday, I decided to stretch out today's recovery run. How much? No idea exactly, just depends on how the body and legs are feeling.

Medium run - Botanical Gardens

Jog to the Gardens

Light warm up and drills

6x Big Loops+1 small loop

6 hill strides

Light exercises

Once again, the pacer of the day was Ah Yeoh. Since most of my runs at the gardens are on the small, much flatter loop, I decided to hit the big hills for today. We started out at an easy pace, but gradually ramped it up every loop. I still felt sufficiently OK enough to add to the initially planned 4. Still, while my breathing was ok, the legs were gradually taking a beating. We got off the big loop after completing 6 and headed for the small. While I told myself to shoot for 4 loops, I knew halfway after the first that it would be the last. I managed to put in a bit of a surge to the finish. Many thanks again for Ah Yeoh for sticking till the end. Overall it was a solid hour.

Medium Moderate Run

2011-07-12T08:21:00.000-07:00

After taking yesterday off, albeit with some regret, I geared up to tackle week 2 of my training.

*thanks to blogger being such a bitch, I lost the whole post, so here's a summary*

Went down the the gardens to do 16 laps. The target pace was an easier 1st half and then try to push a bit if I still had energy. Ah Yeoh was the pacer of the day so I thankfully didn't have to run alone. The first half more or less went according to plan, the pace being slightly slower than last Friday's run. Credit to Yeoh for sticking with me till 10 or 11 laps, but the last few laps were in danger of becoming a lonely death march for me too.

I didn't really feel the onset of crashing, at least not the usual kind. Instead of rebelling legs and robot-like form, I felt like a vise was tightening around my chest. As for the running form, I would probably be like a car gradually crumbling. I couldn't do much breathing-wise, but I did consciously tell myself to tidy up the form with cues. Despite my efforts, the discomfort reached a nadir 4 laps from the end and I really felt like throwing in the towel. The old me would have quit, or indeed he might never have made it that far. Some unseen force pushed me on past the hurt. Maybe that's the heart of the real Peter the runner? Whatever it is, I hope it's not going to make only cameo appearances.

The vise on my chest didn't let up, but that didn't stop me from trying to surge at the end, though it was nothing to write home about. All in all, I can't complain much as I did accomplish what I set out to do. Many thanks to Ah Yeoh too for running with me.

Week 1 Summary

2011-07-12T08:13:00.000-07:00

I am certainly glad to have 'survived' week 1, but it has been far from an easy task. For starters, I didn't manage to hit the planned mileage. Among the dropped workouts were an unimportant recovery run and a much more pertinent long run. The long run was probably a bigger step for me at this point and I have to be patient. My legs were too heavy and it was probably better to skip it. All in all 60+ km was an ok progression from my existing training.

Freedom!!!

2011-07-08T06:46:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: Ok, before any aspiring politicos jump on my back, this post is completely about running.

I skipped yesterday's run simply because my body wasn't up for it. Anyhow, it was supposed to be a recovery run. Despite the extra day of rest, I woke up early this morning and immediately decided to push my run to this afternoon. That turned out to be a good decision indeed as I later woke up to see heavy showers. Short though they might be, they did scrub away most of the haze that had been plaguing Penang. I was still on tenterhooks though for the next few hours while hoping the haze would stay away.

Small Loops at Botanical Gardens (14+k)

Easy run to Botanical Gardens

Short warm up with light drills

16 small loops, 67:11

5x short strides on grass

Jog back

Shoes: Brooks Launch

My plan for the day was supposed to be 9 miles of general aerobic work so I decided to cover 16 laps of the gardens. It must have been the week or so of not running on solid ground but the initial warm up run to the gardens really felt a bit off. I had wanted to jump straight into the 16 laps, but my easy warm up pace was starting to leave me a bit winded. I decided to do some drills and dynamic stretches, but they were really to help me reset my rhythm. Thankfully, I found some guys from my O2 teammates to pace with too.

Mindful of the fatigue in my legs from the week's previous runs, I wanted to keep the pace slow. However, miscommunication between me and Ah Wong, my 1st pacer, put paid to that. He thought I said the initial pace was too slow while I really meant slow down. After Ah Yeoh joined us a few laps in, I stood off from Ah Wong's pace. He would drop out before halfway.

Despite having endured the treadmill the past few days, my mind was still having difficulty clicking off the laps. The heat and humidity was as unrelenting as ever even though it rained earlier. The last few laps were a slog. I kept telling myself to ease off the pace a bit but we were not slowing down at all. Ah Yeoh wilted a bit the last few laps, and Siao Tieh surged to the front. I would have him to chase the last few laps, all while telling myself to slow down.

Overall, I am pretty happy to finally get to run outside again. Many thanks to my (inadvertent) pacers for dragging me through the run!

Long run on the treadmill

2011-07-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today's workout was supposed to be a 11 mile medium long run. As the haze has shown no sign of abating anytime soon, that would mean I will have to run on the 'mill much longer that I already have. Before I get to tackle that potential mind killer however, I have to deal with the after effects of yesterday's run. I had planned to head to the gym in the morning, but my body had other plans when I woke up. I really felt depleted and I knew there was no way I could muster up enough mental strength while feeling physically subpar. I dropped straight back into the warm embrace of my bed, wasn't surprising really. What's surprising was I only woke up at 2pm. That would mean I was knocked out for nearly 13 hours. And I still felt tired. Dayummmmm.

Mid-week long run (treadmill)

13+5k

Shoes: Brooks Launch (newer)

Mindful of the length of the run, I started out at a much slower pace. For the first 40 minutes or so, I alternated between increasing the incline and pace at 5 minute intervals. Once I got up to the 13+kph range, there was no more playing with the incline for the simple reason of me tiring out. Still I managed to hold on till just after the hour mark where I stepped off for a short while to have a short drink break. I took about 23 minutes more to complete the balance of the workout. All in all, pretty glad I survived this day.

Today My (Marathon) Life Begins

2011-07-04T21:25:00.000-07:00

Echoing the Bruno Mars song, today marks the beginning of my training as a marathoner. I actually planned to start yesterday, but the haze gave me another reason to rest my sore right foot and clear any straggling phlegm, both battle scars from the KL marathon 21k. Besides, Mondays on the training plan I am following are marked rest or cross training anyway.

With a fresh beginning in mind, I went to bed early, at least by my standards. I enthusiastically woke up at 6, to find... even heavier haze. The haze this year sure picked an excellent time to show up, exactly on the day I intend to start marathon training. I guess this is an early test of my resolve and determination. I simply cannot falter at this early hurdle. Faced with such difficult and potentially harmful running conditions, I chose a lesser evil, the treadmill. At least the boredom should foster mental strength.

Day 1 (Treadmill)

13k, 57 minutes

10x100m strides

Shoes: Brooks Launch

The plan for the day way to do get some general aerobic work in along with some speed, aka 8 miles and 10 100m strides. The main run should not be a jog while not being a hard workout. Hmmm, tricky. I started out at 13.2kph. Since I get bored easily on the treadmill, I decided to increase the pace 0.2kph every 10 minutes. To distract myself further, I used the full length mirror in front of me to ~~admire my dashing good looks~~ adjust my form and try to infuriate myself further by counting my stride rate every 12 minutes (yea, random number) or so.

Towards the end, the pace was around my half marathon pace, certainly too fast according to the plan as anything higher than 90% of marathon pace would be considered specific work or some other mumbo-jumbo. I guess my starting pace would be too fast too going by that rationale, but any slower would require me to plod. Well, maybe the relative ease of treadmill running would compensate somewhat. I think it would be better for me to just focus on relaxing no matter the pace.

After taking a short breather, I proceeded to the speed portion. Now, if the stupid haze didn't show up, I would be doing the strides on a grass field somewhere, with the wind in my hair and maybe monkeys and hot chicks and spectators (ahem). Instead, I have the treadmill motor blowing hot air, thankfully not on my face, and trying not to do a faceplant to occupy myself. All this while hearing some disconcerting roar from the motor whenever I dial the treadmill to the stride speed. After experiencing a passing imitation of food blender and the accompanying sound effects at the top speed of 20kph, I decided perhaps it would be unwise to subject the 'mill to 10 rounds of that. Of course, it would be better to start gradually too, so I started the first set at 18kph and proceeded to ramp up each rep.

Overall, it's a pretty solid start. I really hope I can stay the course for these 20 weeks. Perhaps I won't turn in an underwhelming performance for once.

KL Marathon: Mission fail

2011-06-28T10:09:00.000-07:00

I admit, my training has been subpar and I am to blame for that. Far too easily, I get demoralised and duck out from training. Still, the small PR tempered the disappointment somewhat. Anyway, here's my race report.

SCKLM 21k

1.31.02 (1.31.00 net)

Shoes: Brooks T6

After having my legs seize up on my within the first few km the last 2 times I ran here, I made a conscious effort to try to relax. While my calves did tighten up a bit and my right shin was oddly getting a pounding, my plan seemed to work. The tight feeling did not get worse and my legs were able to loosen up after about 5k. I reached that point at about 20.2x. As that portion was a net downhill, I expected a fast split but that time still worried me. With the spectres of my past failures here still lingering, I really stuck to cruising down the declines while trying not to push off too hard going uphill, both to decrease muscle fatigue.

The next few km passed by in a blur. Many would claim that this KL course is easy peasy, but to me, the many twists and turns are a bigger obstacle compared to mere elevation change. For a non-KLite, that made the course a bit unpredictable and really throws you for a loop. Personally, I find it hard to get a nice rhythm going here. All I can do is just focus on the particular stretch I am running on and hope I didn't misjudge my effort.

About midway through, I told my body that it was time to put all that saved energy and fresher legs to use and my body responded by... making no change. The power wasn't there at all. Probably a consequence of my lackluster training, my heart and lungs just couldn't spin into overdrive and my legs couldn't generate any power. It wasn't even like my heart is pumping like mad, I just had no extra gear.

Throughout the race, I tried to maintain a strong running gait and to a certain extent that probably resulted in my miniscule PR. Even so, as I approached the last few km, I was hurting and thought about shifting to a more comfortable gait. Nevertheless, I managed to hang on to the end. Heading down the finishing straight, never mind my target of sub-1.30, even sub-1.31 was slipping away before my eyes. Despite striding (my best effort at this point) all out, I was still a couple of seconds over that barrier.

I would reckon the middle part of the race was the toughest and my stopwatch would back that up. My first and last 7k segments were under my target pace while I really lost the plot in the middle. Bear in mind that I was hurting the last 4k or so. It's either the route is much harder in the middle or they really screwed up the distance markers.

Long story short, I really have to take a long hard look at myself before I start thinking about the full distance.

Legs are Still Not Fully Mine: Fartlek, Day 22

2011-05-19T07:33:00.000-07:00

I took a break yesterday after 7 consecutive days of training. While my legs have indeed started feeling more and more leaden by the day, I woke up yesterday feeling like they weren't even mine! On top of that, the heavens really opened up just as I was about to head out for my run, so there, even nature told me to take a rest.

My legs still didn't feel like mine when I woke up today, but they got better as the day went on. I figured 48 hours should be adequate lest I start to get sucked into a vicious cycle of copping out from training. The menu also didn't sound that bad, an extended fartlek at a lower intensity.

Day 22 (Botanical Gardens+Jesselton)

Run to Youth Park (warm up)

75min fartlek (easy moderate)

Shoes: Brooks Launch (older)

There were not many fast guys who showed up for this run. Except for Richard, most of the crowd would probably not follow or initiate surges. I was proven right as it turned out to be an easy kinda run for most of them. Richard did follow a couple of my surges towards the end, but on the whole, it was just me mixing up the pace, albeit less frequently. Since this was like the longest fartlek for me this year, I am quite satisfied with being able to finish it. I also discovered that wet surfaces are to be avoided in this pair of trainers as the rough grippy treads have worn away. I nearly slipped on some of the slippery surfaces.

Hanging Tough, Day 20

2011-05-17T08:47:00.000-07:00

Today's run was also partly run under light drizzle. After the past few days, my legs were really feeling it. Imagine the relief I felt when my SMS to Kang on what kinda run we will be doing today was replied with 'EEEZ'. Then imagine my eyes popping and tongue hanging out when I find out halfway through that it was not.

Day 20 (Botanical Gardens)

Run to Youth Park (warm up)

~11k steady (relaxed moderate)

Shoes: Brooks Launch (newer)

The plan today was to run to the Gardens and do 10 small loops. I was going to go really easy, but Kang's pace was a bit faster than I expected. It wasn't really that fast but the accumulated fatigue took its toll. There were a few times when I really wanted to let go and run at my own pace, but there was no one from the group near behind. Getting stuck in no man's land at that point might have led to me cutting short the run. It might sound like a paradox, but to beat fatigue I had to run harder.

Fartlek in the Rain, Day 19

2011-05-16T08:20:00.000-07:00

I woke up (late, again) to news of the passing of Samuel Wanjiru, the reigning Olympic marathon champ. This left me in shock, he was not yet 25. Although Haile is the biggest (and probably only) name in marathoning for most people, Wanjiru is a hero to me for his absolutely fearless way of racing. I am going to try to adopt that fearlessness in my own running.

Day 19 (Botanical Gardens)

Run to Youth Park (warm up)

1hr fartlek (moderate) (last stretch back from Gardens: 3.51)

Shoes: Brooks Launch (older)

After yesterday's tough and long treadmill session, I was kinda hoping for a more relaxed pace today. Despite Kang saying that would be the case, the reality couldn't be further away. The pack was splintered time and again but the repeated trips to the hilly parts of the Gardens. It might partly be due to yesterday's workout, but I was really hurting. Halfway through, it even started to rain. Still, I kept thinking of how Wanjiru would hang tough and gutted through the pain. When it came down to the final stretch, I really turned on the jets, or so I thought. My watch told me a different story. Nevertheless, it was still a solid session and I am glad for it.

Heading to Madness on a Conveyor Belt, Day 18

2011-05-15T10:24:00.000-07:00

I missed my morning long run yet again, but this time I can at least blame it on sore legs and general post race blues. Once again, I had to substitute it with an afternoon session. With the current likelihood of extreme weather, the choice of location for this was always going to be the gym... which means the utterly mind numbing, soul destroying treadmill. This time, I have armed myself with a plan that will hopefully stave away the monotony.

The omens were certainly not good though. I really struggled to break free from my afternoon nap, usually a sign that the willpower is not in top form. Never mind, if nothing else, treadmill running will teach mental strength, a problem in a few of my recent races.

Day 18 (gym, treadmill)

12k (progression run, moderate) 52min

Short rest

11k (hilly run, moderate to hard) 50min

Shoes: Brooks Launch (newer)

Overall, I was quite satisfied. Although I didn't exactly hit my target of at least 1 hour for the first part, 52 mins is close enough. The hilly run consists of 800m at a slower pace at a minimal gradient (2%) before speeding up to another constant speed while alternating between 2%, 5% and 8%. The segments were either 1 mile (5%) or half a mile (2% and 8%). I got this workout from a site called runningplanet so there are more where that came from. The 8% parts were a bit of a killer, but I was glad I stuck to the end and even ran a bit extra.

I had to cut short my strength workout due to a lack of time (thanks to the post nap dilly-dallying) but I can't complain much today.

Rising from the Ashes (ahem), Day 17

2011-05-14T09:17:00.000-07:00

After yesterday's shambles, today's 5000m no longer became an afterthought. Mostly I wanted to avoid DNF-ing again, but I was also hoping for an acceptable performance at least. Just before the race, the stakes were heightened again when I found out that Raj, my senior and erstwhile miler, was also going to be making his 5000 debut here. Since it's not his distance and he's not even in form, I must stay ahead of him to avoid being more of a laughing stock than I am already.

Day 17 (Darulaman Stadium)

5 min warm up jog

4 short strides

5000m race 19.47

1000m 3.44

2000m 7.44

3000m 11.44

4000m 15.48

Shoes: Brooks T6

Overall, I can't complain much about it. While the time wasn't a PB, it was my best in 2 years and the weather was hot. My strategy was to try to start fast but remain relaxed and in this sense, I think I executed well. Unfortunately, that still left my dead last for most of the first kilo. However, I started reeling people in soon after. The plan for the subsequent kilos was more of just hanging on and for the next 2, I did just that. When I got to the penultimate kilo however, I could feels my legs start to rebel. The pace slipped a bit and my plan to push the last kilo was a no go. Nevertheless, I managed to slightly up the pace. All in all, it was a decent race. I managed to finish ahead of Raj and I haven't started any intensive intervals yet.

Anyway, I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to my friend, Jane and family for being excellent hosts for my stay in Alor Star. Without them stuffing me with food, I wouldn't be able to do half as well.

P/S: I actually wrote a much more detailed account of my race, but a lousy Internet and a careless stroke of the 'delete' key put paid to it.

Epic fail, Day 16

2011-05-13T09:45:00.000-07:00

As sung so infamously by Rebecca Black, it's Friday! It's Friday! and it happens to be competition day 1. It was supposed to be the first leg of a suicidal, hence epic, 2 day double. It turned out instead to be an epic fail. I not only turned out to be the suckiest by far of a 5 man field, as expected, but I didn't even finish the race. I don't like to make excuses, I sucked. Although this track meet is only a tune up for me, DNFs always hurt, and this one hurt more than the burning in my leg muscles.

Day 16 (Darulaman Stadium)

6 min easy jog (warm up)

10000m race (DNF at 6400m, 26.28)

Shoes: Brooks T6

Hopefully tomorrow's 5000 will be much better. At the very least, I must finish.

Double trouble, Day 16

2011-05-12T07:33:00.000-07:00

I didn't get to run much today since tomorrow will be race day. Of course, the weather also played a factor in me being unable to get a morning run in. Contrary to the yesterday's muggy weather, it was raining buckets all through the mid-afternoon when I left Penang. Once I reached Alor Setar, it was already late afternoon. Only then did I manage to get a very short run in. The conditions were certainly less than ideal, what with the sub-par roads of the housing area I was in and the super enthusiastic dogs.

Day 16 (somewhere in Alor Setar, next to some paddy fields)
15 min (easy)
4xvery short strides
Shoes: Brooks Launch (older)

Nevertheless, I gotta make do with my conditions. There were some 'good' news waiting for me when I came back. From the moment the person in charge of registrations told me that 'there was no 5000m', the event I have been bracing myself for is the 10000m (yes, I agree that I am repeating myself too much). But lo and behold, it turned out that my name has been entered for BOTH these killer events held on back to back days. After picking up my jaw from the ground and swallowing back my heart, I came to terms with it. This will be my 3rd double, the 1st was also over 2 days, while the 2nd was over 3. God bless me.

Burning up the roads, but in a bad way: Day 15

2011-05-11T08:55:00.000-07:00

Today's workout was my first since setting foot on Penang. It was pertinent that I get back to training ASAP, and not just because of all the lack of sleep, secondhand smoke and diet I had to endure in Medan. I managed to sign up for a race just before I boarded my flight to Medan and that race happened to be the most grueling track event, the #@$$%#@ boring and long and #$%$ nausea and snore inducing 10000m. To top it all off, that race will be on Friday afternoon. Oh wait, I forgot one more thing. It seems that someone decided to turn up the heat all over Malaysia while I was gone! Something tells me the race will be a world of hurt...

Day 15 (Jesselton)

Run to Youth Park

Jog to Jesselton

6 laps of Jesselton loop, alternating stride-float stretches (essentially 12x ~250m strides with equal distance jog recovery)

Jog back

Shoes: Brooks T5

I wanted to use this as a rust buster and planned to go relaxed. The heat wave didn't feel like a big problem when I left the house. In fact it wasn't sunny at all. But appearances truly are deceiving. Despite the downcast skies, I was already sweating profusely at the start of the main work out.

Anyway, the areas I focused on are trying to run fast while being relaxed. I think I managed to do that up till the last loop, despite having the pace ramped up mercilessly by people old enough to be my father. As it is, my legs are fine though the old aches and pains are creeping in again. Having said that, I have no doubt that my upcoming race will be in another realm of hurt altogether if the weather doesn't cool down.

(Near) Conclusion of block: medium hills at medium effort, Day 10

2011-05-06T05:53:00.000-07:00

If I fail to break free from dream land tomorrow, today's hill workout will be the last run before I go to Medan for a short break. I am saying this not because I lack faith in my determination to wake up early, but because I know that is like trying to beat Barcelona at the Camp Nou. Anyway, I don't think I would have enough time to update this blog even if I do get the run in. Looking back, these 10 days have been quite solid training for me. Although some runs were a bit underwhelming, I found it's easier to keep my spirits high by looking at training as smaller blocks. Hopefully, the 4 days in Medan would rejuvenate me for the next phase where I ramp things up.

Day 10 (Botanical Gardens)

Run to Youth Park (warm up)

Run to the Gardens, 10x medium hills (~150m, moderate)

Run back

Shoes: Brooks T5

Days 11 to 14: no training (probably, unless I get some in while in Medan)

Situation fartlek-ing normal, Day 9

2011-05-05T07:37:00.000-07:00

It turns out my sub-par appearance wasn't for nought. In fact, it paid dividends in today's run already. As usual, Thurdays with the Youth Park gang means fartlek (really just a posh way of saying speed play). And this slightly rude sounding type of run is a good testing ground for changing gears and in-race speed. Remembering some sage advice from an article about always training within myself, today's fartlek wasn't really balls to the wall, yet I felt good stepping on the gas when the situation calls for it.

Day 9 (Botanical Gardens)

Run to Youth Park (warm up)

1hr fartlek (moderate)

Shoes: Brooks Launch (older)

Overall, it's good to find that my legs and body were less lethargic than the last 2 or 3 workouts. I also kinda 'felt' my form was better, especially my arm carriage, but then I can't really be sure till I get someone to video me while running.

Track 1 Peter 0, Day 8

2011-05-04T09:03:00.000-07:00

Since I have a steamboat appointment later in the evening, I decided to do my workout at the USM track. Oh yeah, in case anyone would think that I am too ashamed to mention that I overslept again, it was raining so I couldn't run anyway. Pffftt.

I decided to do some 200s with generous recovery, sort of a true speed workout mentioned in one of the posts here. Anyway, 'speed' turned out to be the misnomer of the day as far as I was concerned by the end of the workout. To avoid embarrassing myself, I will keep the times to myself :P.

Day 8 (USM track)

10min grass (warm up)

4x200 (last 3 all out but relaxed, long recovery ~6min)

10min barefoot

Shoes (for the shod portions): Brooks T5

While the recommended recovery was as long as it takes to fully recover, my legs were getting heavy even with 5 minutes worth of rest, especially for the last 2 reps. Nevertheless, the positive side of me wants to think that this is due to a lack of speed training on my part and consequently my current form is just temporary. *fingers crossed*

Despite my low training load, I went on to gorge at the steamboat do later, just an extension of my elevated appetite really.

Semi-aborted run, Day 7

2011-05-03T06:49:00.000-07:00

Barely a week into my new training regime and I have already nearly fallen off the wagon. In my defence, I didn't sleep well at all last night, and I passed off 20 minutes of lying on the bed as an afternoon nap. The signs were bad from then on, I really had to force my ass outta the door. I thought things would get better as I ran. My initial plan was to do more than an hour over a hilly course. That sounds like a fat joke now. Barely halfway up the first hill, my body was telling me to pull the plug. So what to do? I decided to recycle it into a hill sprint work out, one which I had planned for tomorrow morning (morning runs? for Peter? another big fat joke HAHA).

Day 7 (Botanical Gardens)

Run to Youth Park (warm up)

Run to Botanical Gardens (medium run epic fail = 2nd warm up)

10x10sec hill sprints (all out, long recovery)

Run back to Youth Park

Shoes: Brooks Launch (newer)

On the way back, I had the good fortune of pacing with Tong, who was doing the second half of his 13k run. Even then, I had to struggle to keep up. Oh yeah, did I mention he's more than twice my age? I don't know whether to be in awe or sorrow.

Tough day at the gardens, Day 6

2011-05-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

Once again I couldn't wake up in the morning. And yet again, I had to really tear myself out of a afternoon nap induced stupor to run in the evening. It's all starting to sound like a broken record huh? Anyway, I followed the Payton Jordan Invitational Track Meet live on flotrack earlier in the afternoon and got pretty fired up, so that was the sleep-demon/demotivation kicking weapon of the day.

Day 6 (Botanical Gardens)

Run to youth park (warm up)

1 hr fartlek (moderate)

Shoes: Brooks Launch (older)

Fartleks are usually moderate intensity runs for me, but somehow today I was feeling it even within the first 15 minutes. It might have been the added mileage load rearing its head or maybe Kang was really putting the coals on. Either way, with three quarters of the way to go, that wasn't a good sign. The DNF demons were ever present but I just blanked my mind and focused on each intense part while taking advantage of every single lull in pace. There was not much self initiated surging or extras today. I finished up with a sustained surge for the final stretch back to Youth Park, but I still got my ass kicked by 2 Masters runners. Tsk tsk.

Indoors vs myself, Day 5

2011-05-01T07:15:00.000-07:00

Once again, I missed my Sunday morning long run. This time it was due to some unfortunate delays while crossing the dream-reality border. Serious, the dream was just that good.

Anyway, I decided to make up for it with an afternoon session at the gym, albeit with some fierce struggle with my dreams again. Darn, my dreams seemed determined to prevent me from training. Must do something about that.

Day 5 (gym)

1hr progression run (hard, treadmill)

Shoes: Brooks Launch (newer)

I really wanted to go long today, something like over 20k. Unfortunately, whenever I run on treadmills, it's always touch and go. Many people would say treadmill running is boring, and I will tell them that they are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! Most of the time I only have my reflection for company, and there are definitely no eye candy at my gym (unless you are into aunties and uncles la). So alleviate the boredom, I tend to play with the buttons. Unfortunately that means the run will only get faster or harder. Go figure, I have a masochistic streak. 1 hour is definitely good, in fact it's the longest I have run indoors.

Slogging on a bumpy field, Day 4

2011-04-30T06:12:00.000-07:00

Decided to sleep in, so that means I was left with getting in a run in the evening. The trouble was Saturday evenings tend to suck me into their warm embrace. True enough, by 6pm I was complaining of being hungry and trying to delay lacing up my shoes to 7pm. Deep down, I knew it was touch and go, and the good guys didn't seem to be winning. That was until I saw something while surfing. Although it really had nothing to do with me, it really pissed me off. That ignited the fire in me, at least for that moment. I didn't know how long that would burn, so I quickly headed for the door before it went out.

Moral of the day, I finally used the soporific powers of the Internet against itself. Never again will I cop out because of the Internet muahahahhahaa. *fingers crossed*

Day 4:

30mins (relaxed progression) - Adventist field

Shoes: Brooks Launch (older)

I just wanted to get in some easy miles while trying to focus on my form. Unfortunately my lack of self control meant I was kinda feeling my legs and feet a bit in the end, also partly no thanks to my shoes. At least I could do 30 minutes in them this time.

Barefoot+Hills=Time for new shoes? Days 2 and 3

2011-04-29T06:18:00.000-07:00

The past 2 days have been fairly low intensity.

Day 2:

10min warmup (grass)

Light drills

45min barefoot (grass, easy)

Shoes: Brooks Launch

Day 3: (morning)

10min warmup (grass)

6x hill sprints, about 10secs each (fast)

Shoes: Brooks Launch (older)

I planned to do some running in the evening today, but due to some unforeseen circumstances, I got too tired. Anyway, what I gathered from these 2 days is I might need to chuck out the Launches, or at least the older pair. The reason those lame 10min 'warmups' became 'warmups' is because my feet were feeling sore and I could only make it so far.

Even if I just retire a pair of the Launches, what should I replace them with? That would leave me with precisely 1 pair of regular training shoes (the other Launches) since all my other shoes are racers. The new Launches are no longer affordable any more. Darn, decisions, decisions.

Sub 1.25 or bust: Road to KL Day 1

2011-04-27T06:48:00.000-07:00

There are only about 8.5 weeks left until the Stan Chart KL Marathon. After last Sunday's less than stellar race, it's time for me to buck up. At the rate I am progressing, I would be consigned to the back of the pack by the up and coming young guns. Even Tiger went up a few levels with his 1.26. As Tiger will be going for the full distance in KL, I won't even get a chance to pay him back for that massive beating. Never mind, there's another way to one up his mark: sub-1.25.

I took 2 days to recover from Bidor, partly out of laziness, partly out of mylegscantevenwalkstraightitis. Both of them were still afflicting me today, but I was starting to feel guilty, so much so I was even able to disregard the unusual lethargy I was feeling after my afternoon nap. On top of that, the weather was bloody hot and humid. I sure wish I can replicate this kind of fortitude in the next 9 weeks and beyond.

Menu:

Jog to Youth Park, easy

Run to Jesselton, easy

12 strides (~250m), jog back recovery (supposed to be easy, but try telling that to my calves @#%$$#)

Jog back to Youth Park, death march

Running partners: Kang and gang

Shoe: Brooks T5 racers

Weather: Unbelievably hot and humid

The calves were a bit tight, and the humid weather had me gasping after 3 or 4 reps. Didn't know what made me go on. All in all, glad that I completed it.

Penang Bridge Marathon race report + Brooks T6 debut

2009-11-26T07:56:00.000-08:00

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise...

Ok, for now my blog is still breathing, but from now on I will probably only update it when I have race reports or new shoe reviews. Oh guess what, look what I have here, a report on the Penang Bridge Run which also happens to be the baptism of fire for my new Brooks T6! Just brilliant timing. Right then, let's get straight to the goods.

***

This year's Penang Bridge International Marathon (PBIM) as usual has 3 competitive distances, the full, half and quarter marathons, and as usual I will be running in the half. What is unusual this time around and I think for a local race, is that all the distances are properly measured and recognised by the Association of International Marathons and Distances Races (AIMS), which means that the distances will be accurate. So for the first time, a PBIM 'half' will not be any funky distance like 22k or 25k. Hooray! Of course, this means that there will be a serious change in the course, mainly the turnaround will be somewhere before the mainland. Besides the course, the ChampionChip system was also implemented, which IMHO was a really good move. Other welcome changes came in the form of a proper race vest instead of an el cheapo white tee and online registration. Alright, that is it for the pre-race improvements.

I had planned to wake up at about 1am to get to Queensbay, the race venue, before all the access roads are closed. Unfortunately, that did not quite work out as planned as I accidentally set my phone for 1pm. I have my instincts to thank, as I somehow woke up at 1.30 feeling something was wrong. The roads were scheduled to be closed at 2, and I needed about 30 minutes to reach Queensbay. Let's just say I had to draw some inspiration from Initial D ;).

Alas, my efforts were in vain, as the entrances to the parking bays at Queensbay were blocked when I arrived. In the end, I was forced to park far away at a housing area near Krystal Point. It was quite secluded at that hour, so I was a bit wary of being mugged. The start time for the half was at 3.30 so I actually still had a lot of time to stroll over. The starting area was already milling with people and I also took note that the start line was actually moved back a few dozen metres. About 30 minutes before the starting time, the announcer started calling for people to assemble. The good thing with the chip system is that the kandang or cow-pen of past PBIMs are long gone, however I feel the organisers could have widened the start a bit. Ok, sorry, I might not have made myself clear, "THERE ARE SO MANY BLARDY PLACES WHERE THE ROAD IS WIDE ALONG THAT WHOLE STREET, WTF DID YOU GUYS HAVE TO CHOOSE THE NARROWEST PART???". Alright, maybe the AIMS people said you had to start there, but why the hell must they erect such a huge ass starting gantry and block a quarter of the already narrow road with advertising hoarding?

Anyway, we were soon started off by the Penang CM, YB Lim, (or so they say, cos I was stuck behind the huge ass starting gantry) and I had a relatively smooth getaway. I resisted following when I saw many of my rivals zooming past. One of my friends, Wei Xiang, who is also sure to be a huge rival in MASUM, was going at a furious pace. I was really tempted to mix it up with those guys, but I had to remind myself to be patient. Instead I focused on running straight and relaxed. Knowing my training leading to the race, or rather lack of, it was important to use my energy as efficiently as possible. There was another factor too. This was also the first time that my T6 will be used for such a long distance. I was only able to wear it for some short 10 minute runs and drills, so it was really an unknown quantity. My previous experience with the T series in races at about 20k have also been a mixed bag, yet somehow I had a feeling my T6 will not let me down.

15 minutes or so into the race, I felt I was getting into my comfort zone and pushed accordingly. At around this time, I was passed by Ronnie See from the Pacemakers, and I decided to respond. I hung behind him, while still breathing comfortably. This lasted until we finally got onto the bridge, which is at about the 5k mark. The first part of the bridge was a gentle incline, so I figured it was a good time to attack while not getting too tired. The long and straight bridge really played games with the mind, but I just focused on my running form and just told myself to run tall. At this point I was passing people left and right, and I started looking out for the rivals who passed me at the start.

I was approaching the turnaround when I finally spotted Wei Xiang coming by on the other side, his stride rate noticeably slowed. I really stepped on the gas after that as I knew he was not far ahead. Nevertheless, it took me nearly 3 more km before I finally overtook him. Not long after that, I overtook another MASUM rival, this time from UiTM, and that really boosted my spirits. However, I was not safe yet as I still had about 7k to go. Fear took over as my motivation, as the hunter became the hunted.

Looking back, I really pushed hard while I was on the bridge. I still had some left in the tank, but I was beginning to really hope the race will finish. My anxiety heightened once I got off the bridge as the route here was unfamiliar and I had no idea how far I am from the finish. In other words, I got scared to push any more in case I blow up. At about the last 5k there was another turnaround, and when I was heading back I saw Wei Xiang was just behind, still within striking distance. That dispelled any doubts I had for the moment. The road back was really dark and lonely and the only race markers were vague and few and far between. Mentally I took a dive, and thoughts about walking or easing up entered my mind frequently. Fortunately, I feared fear more than pain. Besides, the only pain came from fatigue. That's right, my T6 held up fine.

Pretty soon, I reached the roundabout which signalled the last few hundred metres to the finish line. At this point, the guy in front was too far to be chased down and the road behind me was clear. I really did not know what to use to motivate myself, but I kicked hard anyway. My muscles were really screaming, but I ignored them. Seemingly ages later, I finally heard the "beep" that marked the end of my agony. My racing mentality immediately drained out, and I staggered around to find somewhere to sit. Turning back, I found out that I really did not have much of a cushion to the next finisher. I was surprised once more when I found out that Siao Tieh, one of the top guys for my running team, was 2 places behind me. After getting trashed so many times, I finally managed to beat him.

I was brought back to earth when my feet started screaming. While I did not really cramp, I can feel them swelling up. Ah well, as good as the T6 is, there is still a price to pay for running this kind of distance in this kind of flats. Still, I have experienced worse.

All in all, it was a good race, except for the issues highlighted above, and also the use of bottled water in some of the stops, which was not only wasteful but also inconvenient. I also did 1.31:53, which was a PR. While I cannot compare this to all my previous races as the distances might not be uniform, this will still rank among my best performances. My run-up to this race was less than stellar, with only a 40 minute run and a few 20+ minute runs to go with my track workouts, so I could draw some encouragement from that too. But I really, really need to start putting in the effort.

PS: The full cost of my laziness became apparent later that night when I checked the official results. It turns out that I finished 16th, with the top 15 winning cash! Granted, the guy ahead had a 47 second lead, but still major AMKAN!!! Arghhhhh, c'est la vie...

Very very very brief running update

2009-08-23T12:32:00.000-07:00

Went to Shah Alam. Ran about 22km. Greeted with good news at finish line. Good news turned out to be false. Crushed.

After race, decided that current A-game running vest is too worn out. Promised to retire them from front line use. Remembered that new training shoes are needed.

Bought new shoes and running vest and shorts. Still look like pre-vest change, except for the absence of the team logo.

Runs race today. Did ok. Get ass kicked by a few. Kicked a few asses too.

Will see if the situation changes in the coming months. Road to the Bridge does not seem to get shorter.

From the ashes

2009-06-08T12:06:00.000-07:00

As stated in my last post, I will have finished my 26k race by now. Finishing is one thing, but more important is that I survived it, and glad to say, compared to last year, I survived quite well.

My race prep got off to a rocky start where I was in of a bit of a rush. My preferred type of racing socks were nowhere to be found, and I had to make do with a different type. I ended up having to run from my house to the starting venue, instead of a relaxed jog. Still, it was a good warmup. In fact, I would say this is the first time in many races that I am properly warmed up yet not strained. Due to my lack of doing any long run whatsoever, and with 2 half marathons coming up within the next month, my initial plan was to survive a good pace for at least 1 hour and if possible take it to the 21k mark. Endurance wise, I was not optimistic of really 'running' the whole 26k, but I wanted to not crash as bad as last year. Of course, all these are secondary to actually surviving the race with no ill effects.

The 'BANG!' of the starter's pistol sounded and off we were. I was just behind the starting line and got off to a good start. The favourites were already away, but I just kept focused on starting fast yet staying relaxed. Less than 1 km into the race and I was already running pretty much alone. There were just a handful of runners around me, while the leaders were fast disappearing over the horizon. The first stretch out of Youth Park and turning into Gottlied Road was pretty flat and straight, but it was quite important to stay relaxed as some torturous terrain is literally just around the corner. At this point some of the runners around me tried to make a move, but I bided my time. I did increase my pace a bit, since having someone to tag along is useful and less stressful on the mind. Still, I was careful not to press too hard. The race soon winded into the snaking roads of Mt. Erskine and this is where I feel the race truly starts. It might still be too early for the winners to be decided here, but how one runs this part will have a huge bearing on their race. Also if you are weak in heart, you may be slightly unsettled by running on a road straddled by a huge Chinese cemetary! Fortunately I was already 'in the zone', so to speak, by this point since I was trying to use the runners in front of me as a motivation to overcome the rolling terrain and pocky road. The going uphill was tough, but the downhill parts meant I was able to just open my stride and just fly down. I used this approach to crest the numerous inclines here. At the end of the Mt. Erskine stretch I was already able to leave my erstwhile running partners behind.

Next up is the famous winding roads leading to Vale of Temp. Now, driving in daylight here would be quite harrowing since this road is narrow and twisting. At 6am or so, cars won't be a factor, but the darkness is simply unnerving. The only illumination was just a stray streetlight every now and then. In fact, some parts were totally pitch black! I can't even imagine driving through at this time. Good thing though, I am only using my legs. Thankfully, I also managed to latch on to the next guy in front of me. While the distance was still substantial, it was comforting to know I am not totally alone.

Up till that point, the weather factor was not on the runners' side. In fact, it's almost the same as last year, warm, windless and a bit stifling. I just cannot fathom what it's like to start the race at a later time. The parts after the winding roads were mostly uneventful, and I was settled into the rhythm of chasing the runners ahead. I kept telling myself to keep my footstrikes aligned and lessen any wasteful movements.The hills and slopes here were actually higher than the previous parts and the road was straight, so it could actually be quite daunting looking up from the bottom of the ascents. Approaching the 10k, I was feeling as if I was running out of gas, but I managed to down a packet of Powergel I was carrying along with me. Still, when I got to the hour mark, I was starting to tire. I could still carry on, but it was starting to strain.

While I was glad to be able to last this long, I still wanted to see how far my body would go. My motivation would ebb and flow, but the positive side managed to hold on until the last K or so. But there was no resisting the devil when one of my teammates overtook me just before the last hill. I survived potential cramp, exhaustion, low prep, but in the end it was the sight of another runner leaving me in the dust that did me in. Despite exhorting myself to fight on for the last 5 minutes or so, my legs just automatically quit flailing and slowed down to a walk. Usually stopping and walking would be really, really bad, bad enough to wreck a race and, despite opinions to the contrary, make you feel worse physically. Fortunately, I did not suffer more and I was quite near to the finish anyway. I managed to hold myself together enough to run-walk until the end.

After I finished I was quite pleased to note that I didn't seem to be injured, though my legs were tight as hell! I couldn't even bend them, and taking off the timing chip turned into a comedy of me trying to squat down, struggle to untie my laces, fail, stand up and then repeat the whole process. For what seemed like a dozen times. Finally I just pulled off the shoe in hopes of loosening the laces. All this while balancing on one leg. So who says running does not need skill?

P.S. The tightening only got tighter the very next day, and even persisted for the next 2 days after. SO DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!

26ks of Hell

2009-06-06T08:04:00.000-07:00

I have been slacking a lot, in terms of both blogging and running. Come tomorrow, I will have to face the consequences of doing so in running. While you can argue there's nothing special in that, since I have been slacking for quite some time, this is no ordinary race. This 26k monster over rolling and often poorly maintained roads is not to be trifled with. I learned that the hard way last year, when I headed in also in quite a poor state. I was then rewarded with the most painful run of my life, suffering from cramps (a first while running), painful feet, and most frighteningly a chilly feeling throughout my body. At that time, I seriously thought I was going to be in serious trouble.

Less than a year on, I hope things won't turn out that bad again. Fitness-wise, I think I am ok. Unfortunately, endurance is my main worry this time around. This might not make sense since I said I am fitter, but the fact is I have not done any sufficiently long runs, with the longest clocking in at around 30mins on the treadmill a few days ago. For a race expected to last about 2 hours, that is woefully inadequate.

Having said all that, all I am hoping for is just to come back in one piece. Hopefully, my knees, and shins and feet will hold up. If I come through ok, then I will be satisfied as this race is only a prep of sorts for the upcoming battles...

Oblivion

2009-05-10T08:55:00.000-07:00

I am now at the edge of a mile-high cliff, staring down the precipice, into oblivion... My target is just as far away, and even further. As hard as I try, my efforts have only led me here. One more step, and it's a point of no return. I yearn to go the other way, to make some headway towards my dream, but every time I do it's like swimming in mud, in tandem with strong currents pushing me back. Back until this point...

I have just returned from the Kedah meet, and all I can say to describe it is "total failure". My personal target was not met, modest though it may be. Even worse, I failed to finish 2 out of the 3 events that I signed up for. While I was confident of dipping below 5 minutes for the 1500, the actual race didn't quite turn out the way I envisioned. I felt lethargic from the gun, and I was dropped even before the 300 mark. The rest of the race was a long struggle and I basically ended up where I was 2 years ago. Right after I finished, I ran over to start the 10000. As expected, I dropped out after 2 laps, due to the proximity of these events in the schedule. No complaints about this. I can still reasonably justify my poor results in the 1500 by blaming fatigue, since I had been up for nearly the whole day before.

Unfortunately, I had no excuse whatsoever for the 5000 on the second day. It only served to pooh-pooh that theory and highlight my abysmal physical condition. For a start, I was struggling throughout the race, but quitting the race 4 laps from the end was what made this an unmitigated disaster. For the life of me, I can't remember a track race which I have never finished, the previous 10000 notwithstanding since I already planned it as a glorified cool down. Even in races where I have been stricken with problems, like the 5k in Form 5 and this year's Masum 10k where I suffered from stitch, or the hot and humid 5k in TOT this year, I had always found the will to finish. Says a lot about the lack of hunger and fight in me now.

Comparing myself to 3 years ago, the old me always had the determination and perhaps a little anger to prove something. Ah well, I really need to have a long hard look at myself. It's back to the drawing board...

Semester Break = TRAINING TIME!!!

2009-05-05T08:25:00.000-07:00

To the readers, however little left there are, I am truly sorry at the sorry state of my blog. Yeah, that's the most overused line in blogdom ever in its many forms, and one that I am guilty of overusing even in this blog. Still doesn't make it any less apt to preface a recall to blogging arms though, so it stays.

Anyway, I have a few really good reasons for my absence from the blogosphere (really!). Mainly, my lackadaisical approach to my studies caught with me right after my last post and I was forced to focus my waning energies on the most hectic period of the semester. So there I was, desperately fending off datelines while the almighty threat of the final exams looms high over the horizon. The fact that I was on a steep downhill immediately after MASUM didn't exactly help. All the races subsequently were nothing to write about and I was trying my best to forget them.

All that's in the past though. Luckily for me, my running has not mirrored my lack of blogging activity, and I have continued training, albeit not at full intensity, through my finals. This block of training is geared towards the many big races coming up in the latter half of the year. Thankfully, my performances have started to pick up a bit, and not a moment too soon as I have a meet this weekend to help me get a feel of where I am fitness-wise. Fingers crossed, I will be running in the 1500 and 10000(or 5000) races at the Kedah Open. I am not hoping for much, as I will be using this meet as race exposure cum training cum cheapskate holiday, but a personal best or two would be nice ;).

As stated in the title, I will be going full blast from here on out!

Harvest

2009-03-08T20:51:00.000-07:00

The time has finally come. After training for so long with no chance, namely races, to validate my efforts, and get a feel for my current level, competition season is finally here. I had my first race last weekend, too bad this first competition happens to be the national university track meet (MASUM). Timing regardless, it is still good to race. While my performances did not exactly hit my targets, I still ran personal bests, so I can't really complain. On the other hand, the officials as usual were their petty and haughty selves. Besides being major pains in the ass, their gross incompetence cost me a place on the official standings of the 5ooo. I was not the only victim as my own teammate, Ivan, was just one of those mistakenly made to run extra laps. While I still had the consolation of knowing what time I ran, these guys did not even get the comfort of recording the time that they worked for. Among the other fuck-ups made by the Selangor AAA: setting the hurdle height for the 400m men's hurdles at 42 inches, which is the height for the 110, no officials around the track after the first 4 laps or so of the women's 5ooo walk, which somehow happens to be just after our captain who was leading the race got DQed, hmmmm.

Still, no point wasting any more words on such scum. On the the positives, I managed to beat my 10000 and 5000 personal bests, which have been a long time coming. In fact both were set during my first races at both distances waaaaay back in 2005. I would like to say I could have beaten both ages ago, but for some ridiculous to the point of comedy series of factors, still it feels good to finally do it. I can also say that these were my best runs since nearly 1 year ago. While I only finished 6th overall for the 10k and should have been in 6th for the 5k, I finished ahead of my teammates in both the races so that's another bonus.

Anyway, it's all in the past, especially since there's another meet this weekend, this time USM's very own track meet. Hopefully there will be more updates to my personal bests!

P.S.: Some final thoughts to take away from MASUM. USM definitely >>>>> UPM when it comes to chicks :P. I will win next year for my final year teammates who will not have the chance to win!

Flash and Dash

2009-02-08T11:00:00.000-08:00

With the conclusion of the past weekend, I will only have less than 4 weeks time left until my first competition of the year, which is the MASUM championships. What's so special about this competition besides it being the first of the year? Nothing much except that it's the Malaysian university championships. For this simple reason, it's actually my biggest target for the university track season. Certainly the timing is not optimum, with it being my opener for the year, but nothing that can be changed. What I can change though is my training and ability.

Lately, my performances in training have been somewhat better, as I feel some gradual improvement. On the other hand, I am still getting sent to the cleaners by Prakash, my training mate. So obviously it's still a work in progress. Most of the stuff we are doing now in the workouts have been intervals that are more on the short side, except for some pyramids consisting of 400, 800 and 1200, and the beloved 'last runs' that usually cap off a workout session.

As for the long-ish stuff, I am still struggling a bit but not as bad as before. Hell, a half marathon might be beyond me for now, but at least I can still pull through a 40 minute run, even if I have to run ugly to do it. Add that to the fact that the longest race coming up will probably be 10000m on the track, things don't look that bad after all.

P/S While I already had a full semester of lifesaving lessons before me and am doing the second level already, lifesaving classes still hurt like a bitch.

Track athlete

2009-01-16T10:01:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned before, I will be focusing more on the track this year. Well this is mainly because I have access to a track now at uni and also a coach. Needless to say, being a track athlete entails stepping on to a track for training, and this is what I have been doing for the past 2 weeks or so. However, my performances in these sessions have been, to put it gently, underwhelming. At first the transition was literally very painful. After I went through my first proper session on the track, which were 20x200m intervals finished off with a 1000m run, I legs were really banged up. They stayed banged up enough that I had to walk like I had walking sticks for legs for the next 3 or 4 days. Nevertheless, the poison worked. It inoculated me from being crippled by the subsequent workouts. Still, it didn't cure the other problem. I was still being dusted by my training partner Prakash. Sure this guy is no slouch, being last year's Penang Open champ in the steeplechase, but still... Basically it sucks. The last thing you want as an athlete is to see the back of somebody else pulling ever further ahead. I guess things are not quite on track after all...

Resolutions(again)

2009-01-01T09:54:00.000-08:00

It's that time of the year again. Yep, after all the food has been devoured and the confetti thrown, it's time to get down to the nitty-gritty of, you guessed it, making resolutions. Hmm, on second thought, before I make some impossibly unattainable target for the year, I think I should compare last year's resolutions to what I actually did achieve.

*The following style of writing might be unpalatable for certain segments of humanity. Reader discretion strongly advised.*

Before any of you slate me for posting about my resolutions this late in the year, let me remind you that it's only 9 days since 2008 existed. Anyway, I do have a reasonably good excuse for this. You see, for daring to spend the first few hours of the new year at a ramshackle bus stop chatting with friends instead of getting drunk and fighting at some nightclub, the ghost of 2007 decided to haunt me, presumably to teach me a lesson. So this ghost proceeds to mess up my internal calendar, leaving me 1 week late in writing what should have been written as soon as the new year starts. Not buying it? Well, me too, but at least I gotta make a shot at making a lame excuse.

Anyway, back on topic. Ah, resolutions, the mere thought of it alternatively bolsters the spirit or sends shivers down the spine, depending on what stuff you are made of. Despite all the hoopla (Who the hell uses 'hoopla' anymore?) surrounding it, I mean the first thing most people say after greeting each other happy new year is 'Got any resolution or not ah?', I have never felt compelled to put my resolutions down in writing. I do have some hope for the coming year, sure, but most of them are kinda vague and subjective in nature, which kinda explains why most of my achievements are kinda vague and subjective, go figure.

Ok crapping aside, here are my resolutions.
1) I want to master driving. (Done) As lame as this sounds, this is probably the numero uno skill I need to have now, because no driving, no 'paktor' (Not done. Not listed as a resolution, but still...), no 'kaului'.
2) I want to be a faster runner. Fast enough to get among the top placings in road races. If you insist on being more specific, I hope to run faster than 38 minutes for 10000 meters (Failed), 17 minutes for 5000m(Failed), 80 minutes for the half marathon(Failed). (okay, I added all those numbers to make my blog sound more sophisticated so fire away) My running actually sucked and I might even have regressed. The first half of the year was going great, but ever since I entered uni in June/July, everything went off the boil. Proof = my last race came 1 week after entering uni in the Ipoh Half where I did 1:27+ for my current PR. Of course, that course was pancake flat and possibly short, if you insist on taking away what little ray of sunshine I have left.
3) I want to get my target. Mega epicly failed. Even switched targets a few times and epicly failed each and every time. 4) I want to sleep earlier. Too many late nights means too many wasted hours, definitely not good if I am to achieve resolution number 2. I am up here at 2.30am typing this, so what do you think?

Phew, that sure was stressful. Now you know why I don't really like to do relections on semesters/years/whatever lengths of time. So the numbers say it all, 1 out of 4. Damn, even blind people can hit the target more often. Still, me being me, I am still gonna go forward and come up with a newer, more unattainable list.

1)Become an awesome runner. How awesome? I want to win some road races. As for the track, maybe go under 4 mins for the 1500, 17 minutes for the 5k and 37 minutes for the 10k. Attainable? Only time will tell.

2)Train harder. No more being a chicken. I want to achieve my targets, I must welcome hard training. I am relishing the pain already.

3)Sleep early. After writing this I am off to bed. Promise.

4)Study harder. Or more specifically get better grades. If this can be attained without studying harder, yahoo. Unfortunately, I doubt the world works that way...

5)Update blog more. I will not go on an extended hiatus from my blog like last year, but please forgive me-lah if I don't update everyday. I got the other 4 resolutions to take care of too.

So there you have it, my little list of resolutions.

Run Fatboy, Run!

2008-12-03T09:26:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my recently bulky mass, I have been experiencing a new dimension to my running, the one which requires me to be in perpetual struggle throughout a race. To be honest though, this is nothing new. As a recap, I dragged my out of shape ass through 26km of hell in the Malakoff 26k(what else) Run, then followed up by getting myself kicked over 10k by an 800m runner who's more renowned for his speed than his stamina in the Tanjung 10k, which in turn was only a warm-up for the Penang Bridge Run (25K category) the following week. I had more or less the same outcome for all 3 races. All 3 races ended up with me in the medical tent, and suffering excruciating pain in my feet and lower legs. I seriously was not able to walk properly in the aftermath of those races, for up to a few days time each. The main cause could easily have been my increased mass, since these races were run at my heaviest racing weight.

Anyway, with that wretched sequence outta the way, I figured I should make more of an effort to raise my performance a notch. At least I should be seen trying, right? The scene for this was also quite apt, my alma mater, logical since this race was organised by the school's old boys' association. Last Sunday, was not my first time running in this race, but this year's route of about 10k is entirely new though. The race was fast and furious from the start, and I was barely out the school gates when I started to get passed like it was going outta style. The urge was there to resist, but one look at the hot and soon to get hotter weather made me swallow my pride and just let them go. It's not as if my legs were up for it too since they were screaming at me to stop. So much for moving outta the struggling dimension.

The screaming didn't stop as the race went on, but if there's a relief, it's the sight of a lot of the guys who passed me getting nearer and nearer. True enough the hot and dusty course took its toll. By the time I crossed the finish, I was in 7th place for my category and 8th overall. Still, this race hurt, and I don't mean my legs. For once, my legs were fine, aside from some tightness in my calves. It hurt, because I still ran subpar to my abilities. Of the 7 guys that beat me, I felt I should hv been able to cope with 3. My leisurely start put paid to that though, and it's still a big weakness for me, dating from my earliest days in running. As for some of the guys I did beat, I should have been further ahead. Basically, I am in a no win situation.

Anyway, what's done is done. I can only look forward to my next race, which is this weekend. Redemption-wise, it is good news for it to come so soon. As for my actual shape though, it's bad news, since there is nothing much I can do to better it. To spice things up, it's a road relay, ergo if I suck, I will be causing my whole team to suck. Geez, who said running was simple?

Creature of the Night

2008-11-29T10:20:00.000-08:00

It's alive! Muahahahahahahha, it's alive...!

*Sparks*. Dang, there goes the lights again. It's not easy, you know, to resurrect a blog. Sometimes you gotta short out a fuse or 2, even though my blog has been dead and resurrected again for 65246625 times. This time the hiatus had to be ended using power enough to bring Frankenstein's monster to life 1000 times over.

Right, now that we got that outta the way... I have nothing to blog about. Darn, I forgot the most important ingredient, the soul. Oh well, nevermind. As it is, I am currently in a very pathetic state, sitting in front of the PC at 2.30 in the morning. The past few days have been much of the same, except I sleep at 4 or later. Of course, that wasn't the only transformation I made. Lo and behold, 5 months of tertiary education has also bestowed upon me the title of "resident lard-ass". My daily early morning sojourns would have been intolerable without all the cookies and instant noodles. Yeah yeah, all you less than fit people that I used to laugh at can return the compliments now.

Great, just great.

Uphill All The Way

2008-07-19T23:22:00.000-07:00

Hills. Definitely not for me. At best, they are to be tolerated, a part of running that you sometimes have to do to be gooooooood (drag the word out for emphasis). At worse..., ok let's not go there. So if they already so hostile when part of a run, why the hell am I doing running a race that is all hill??? That's question I was trying to answer while taking part in the annual race up Penang Hill organised by Kwong Wah Jit Poh, amidst curses and gritted teeth.

The answer was none too obvious during that self-prescribed torture session, my body simply refusing to devote more energy to cogitating. Frankly speaking I don't blame it, I have long had a love hate relationship of epic proportions with hiking and hills in general. Normally, I avoid them like the plague, but for 1 special day each year, the planets align, the feng shui energies are at full blast, and I cast aside my hill aversion to enter this event. And just as sure that I would take part, I will regret that decision, usually at the point where I just made it up the first crest looking like a wreck.

This year was no different. To boot, I had done ZERO hiking in the run up to the event. Regardless, annual rituals are to be respected, and besides I am technically a member of a hiking team, so what the heck, crashing and burning can still be kinda fun, I hope. I started out quite well, but then the beginning is a run of about more than 2k, so there was not much consolation there. Things began to look grim as I was getting passed by runners I have no problem beating in my sleep. Come on! We haven't even left the ground yet!

My body soon clicked into normal hiking mode soon after the flat part ended. Long buried curses were dredged up and flowed easily. The long forgotten feeling of burning calfs only hiking could give started to introduce itself. Long story short, it was an uphill battle, pun intended. To stave off the grim outlook, I resorted to pumping in reinforcements. In my near catatonic state, the best I could muster were stuff like, "Pain is temporary, glory is forever" and "No guts, no glory". Creative huh.

Thankfully, I did get stronger in the 1 year since the last edition of this hike, and my pain was felt for a shorter time. About 3 minutes less in fact for a time of 53.39 mins, good enough for 7th place if I am not mistaken. Ah well, considering the circumstances, I don't have much to complain about. Most of the complainin' was done on the way up anyway. Would I WANT to try again next year? I doubt it. Would I actually try it again next year? Yea, pretty much.

I can't help it, go blame Penang Hill.

Rainbow after the rain

2008-07-07T07:41:00.000-07:00

It was an intense battle. The outcome wasn't immediately certain as the smoke and dust from the almighty battle settled. As I finally catch a well deserved easy breath of air, I surveyed the effects of that battle, prepared for dismay. But a glance at the tag bestowed unto me told all that I needed to know. I had made it. I had finally stepped into the promised land with 2 spots to spare.

In bluer collar language, I finally managed to get among the money winning places in a race. The destination was Ipoh, a very unfamiliar place to me, before this race, I have only made passing visits there, but now it has a special place in my heart. In one fell swoop, I lopped off nearly 10 minutes off my personal best for a time of 1.27:35, good enough for 18th place. While this is a moment to savour, it is the culmination of hours of hard work.

The weight has finally been lifted, it's about time I start writing my story as a runner.

New Life, New Place, New Race

2008-07-04T11:09:00.000-07:00

I spent the past week holed up with about 2100 fellow newbie undergrads at the sprawling USM campus. While initially filled with trepidation, the huge and intimidating grounds gradually shrunk and felt more like home. Of course, getting lost is still part of the daily itinerary, but in a perverse way, it's kinda fun too. I bet even the seniors don't fully know the ins and outs of the place 100%, so I guess for us freshies it's forgivable. The grounds might be impressive and the facilities more than adequate, but the best part about getting into university is meeting new people. No joke. There are seriously some colourful characters even in my hostel. As for the girls, I am still thanking the heavens for the sheer number of attractive young females present. Who said a guy/girl ratio of 30/70 is a bad thing?

Of course this is already the weekend, and I was among the fortunate few who reside in Penang, which means I get to go home fairly often. For this weekend however, there will not be much homely respite. I will be leaving for Ipoh tomorrow. It will be my first time taking running in the Ipoh International Run, and the interruption to training because of my orientation week is definitely a concern for me in tackling the 21ks. Regardless, these are exciting times, and hopefully this buoyant feeling I have now will be an adequate substitute for the loss of training. Of course, I cannot fail, since my big mouth told quite a few people about this trip. So for my ego among my uni mates, and for my own self belief, let's hope I achieve a breakthrough.

Anyway, whatever happens, this has been a week for many firsts.

Pride comes before a fall

2008-06-16T06:34:00.000-07:00

In my previous post, I joyfully proclaimed about breaking through a barrier in training. When something like that happens, I naturally expect more progress to be forthcoming. But then I fail to take into account that it's me I was talking about, and when something good happens, something else really really sucky will come along to balance it out. The latter couldn't be truer.

Since that fateful run on the treadmill, my optimism has been rewarded with failure upon failure. I don't know whether that run itself took a lot more out of me than I thought, or that it was purely mental, since I didn't really feel worse from my efforts. The fact of the matter is that I couldn't even manage ONE run longer than 20 minutes, a bare minimum to me to be considered an aerobic effort. Paces I can maintain in my sleep for 45 minutes have me labouring already at 15 minutes, and I find myself abandoning runs even before I got done with my warm-up run, instead working on sprints and hill charges. Well, I guess at least my speed won't be declining, some consolation that is.

Oh before I sign off, I just remembered that the track meet mentioned last time around is this weekend, and to compound my training difficulties, I am still scrambling for the forms. Now if anyone doesn't believe in the adage "when it rains, it pours", kindly direct them to me. Of course, I will willingly take the rain though, or even a drizzle, or maybe just a few raindrops, heck anything but the friggin' humid and hot weather...

Another level down, 100 more to go

2008-06-11T07:18:00.000-07:00

It's really been a while since my last post, I can even see the cobwebs left by Google's spiders hanging all over the place. Ok enough of the cliched back-after-long-hiatus response. While I really haven't posted for a long time, I will have you guys know that I have been putting my time to busting my ass in training, and this break was pretty much required. Alright that wasn't entirely true, the truth is I got a bit sick of posting (again), and instead drowned myself in backbreaking training to cure myself of this funk (see the training was really needed!).

As far as training has been concerned, things have been going quite well, with small breakthroughs in training common. On the other hand, I haven't exactly been able to reach my desired mileage, being unable to break past the 65k mark I reached in my last cycle. I put this down mainly to motivation and determination. This is not to say I am weakening in my desire, but more of a mental barrier that I face every time I train, a testament of sorts to the degree of difficulty of the training. To put things into perspective, even if I manage to hit my old mileage, it will still be less than what is required to really move on to the next level. Ah well, I believe that when I do finally beat that mileage mark the floodgates will open. Besides, I am improving so mileage isn't a big concern yet.

Mileage aside, I am quite satisfied with my training. In fact on the treadmill, I have been besting my training records on a weekly basis, the latest being set this very evening. And since this particular mark and distance holds some significance to me, I am going to regale you guys with some personal history. For those of you with a narcoleptic history, it will be the proper time to get your coffee :).

*Turns back the clock by ermmmm, a few years*

The year was 2005, I had only become a member of the school team a few months before, and I was about to represent my school at the island level track championships. To top it off, I will be in 3 events, 4x400m, 1500m and the longest event on the programme the 5000m. My only previous experience of track was at the 1500m and 800m and that being on the school grass track. Still, I was confident. While I have only ever run middle distance before, I felt that my chances lay with the 5000m. As brash and noob as I was, I knew I wasn't even the best in the 1500m in my own school and in terms of personal best times, technically I really really suck. Of course, the fact that I had no previous experience at all with the 5000m never really occurred to me. On hindsight, I have no yardstick to give me an idea on my relative ability, but I just had the gut feeling that I was good.

I was set up for failure though, again on hindsight. My very first day of track racing I had to do a "double", run 2 events, even better yet, 1 right after the other. Yup, it sucked. Of course, I didn't know it then, instead I cast myself as the martyr since I had to run on the relay then run the 1500m. Still, things would have turned out ok if everything went to plan as my school's 4x400 was quite badass. Heck, it was probably my most concrete chance at a medal. As it turned out, after so many years of going to plan, fate decided to have a laugh just when I got to run on the relay. Rest assured I didn't screw up, but even then the dropped baton didn't seem significant as we still managed to make up time and qualify for the final. Or so we though, as we were adjudged to have committed a mistake when picking up the baton. To call this a freak accident would be an understatement.

I didn't have much time to dwell on it though, since I had about 30 minutes until my 1500. As it happened, I didn't stand a chance. My legs felt sore the first lap and I was literally bringing up the rear. There were some noob runners of course, but in typical noob fashion they sprinted the first few hundred metres. As for the favourites, needless to say they were already flying ahead. The whole field had about 20 runners so I looked really bad. The soreness subsided a bit and some of the noobs "pancit-ed" so I was able to move up in position. In the end, I did something like 5:19, while not good was still technically a personal best. Regardless, my hopes of progressing to the state championships went down in flames.

With the stage set, everything boiled down to my last event the 5000. With no prior benchmark, I set 20 minutes as my target. Hopefully that would enable me to win too. In the actual race though, my target proved to be 1 step too far and I finished in 20:26. As for the win, well, let's just say it was a few more steps further away. I did make the state championships though, but that race turned out to be total failure with me getting a stitch halfway and running way under par. All my subsequent 5000m races since then more or less turned out similarly, leaving the 20:26 still standing as my personal best.

So much for gut instinct

*Back to the present*

Of course, at my current level, the 20:26 would be easy meat, but since track races are not exactly a dime a dozen, I have had very few chances to update that mark, try something like perhaps 1 or 2 track races a year. With some luck, I hope to be able to run at the Penang Open soon. On second thought, change that to a whole shitload of luck, because as it stands, I have no idea when it will be held, even though I have been hearing about it from my juniors. I wouldn't put it past the notoriously high tech, accessible and efficient Penang association (the PAAA) to disseminate the news at the very last minute (like say 5 minutes before registration closes) to a very small audience (something like a 3 line notice at the bottom corner in the newspapers). Can't blame them really, what with them not having a website OR a blog, and being based in an area faaaaaaaar away from the city centre, totally reasonable in this day and age.

Rant aside, because after today's training run it won't hit me as much even if I miss the track event. Even though I am confident to break the 20 minute barrier, there is always still a small piece of doubt at the back of my mind, since I don't have something concrete to back it up. Those days of doubt are over though, for I managed to do 19:34. Granted the time is nothing to shout about, and it was on a treadmill, but hey, I finally managed to break past my personal milestone, so I will take this as a morale booster. The fact that it was a second half of a 40:46 10k was a nice touch too ;). So yes guys, basically I subjected you to a long ass story to tell you about this, so sue me.

Anyway, next up is to break 40 minutes in the 10k. And like the 5k, I am confident I can do it, just a little nagging doubt at the back of my mind though...

5th place, kinda...

2008-05-12T07:51:00.000-07:00

I took part in a run yesterday morning, and in a first for myself, I was not registered beforehand. Nevertheless, I decided to go because I was told that this was a free run by the people from my running group and even if I don't get to register myself, it will still be a chance to do some speedwork. On the other hand, I am going in totally without a clue, whether it is the course, the organisation, the prizes(if any), or even the name, which by the way is Larian Harmoni something something.

Anyhow, last minute registration entailed some extra measures, like waking up early, since I also didn't know what the starting time was, which I nearly failed to do. Thankfully though, I got there with more than half an hour to spare, or so I thought. Getting there on time was the least of my troubles, as there was a huge crowd in front of the registration desks. Thinking that there sure was a lot of latecomers, I quickly took my turn at the queue, only to find that they were doing the t-shirt distribution on race morning itself. Definitely a total faux pas and a sign of a noob organiser. After much waiting and watch-glancing I did manage to put my name on a sheet of paper, by which time I also gleaned some important information like who the organisers were and what kind of runners I was up against. The race was organised by Keadilan and yes, thoughts about being arrested for whatever reason did crop up but thankfully the dozen or so police officers there were just to help with traffic direction. As for my rivals, I did not really see any lethal runners except for a state 800 meter runner who I have beaten over the longer distances, other random state runners and of course a couple of speedsters from my own team.

After the customary pre-race speech by a dignitary which in this case was a state assemblyman we were set off. As expected the young tykes from the state team took off like rockets, but sticking to my mentality of approaching this race for speedwork, I never let them get too far and sure enough, most of them ran out of fuel. All except for two. They were able to sustain their pace and were taking a toll to stick close. Having got among the front of the race, my immediate next thought was the length of this race, since I had expended a lot of energy in the early surge and was deliberating whether to surge again to gain ground on the leader. Just around this moment, I heard some footsteps approaching from behind along with a feeling of dread. It turns out that the owner of this killer aura was one of my fast teammates (the other way already in front stalking the two youngsters). He had started slowly, but had been rapidly closing the gap. As he was faster than me, I couldn't hold him back for long and was overtaken. The excitement didn't stop though as I was engaged in a skirmish with another runner of similar calibre. My initial overtaking move was countered soon after. To make things worse, the course took us near the starting area, and my lack of knowledge about the route ensured that I am not sure whether we will finish there. Once again, doubt crept into my mind whether to push hard to regain that position of to be patient. For better or worse, I elected to do the latter.

My gamble paid off, it seems we will in fact not be ending where we started, which is quite rare for a local road run. No wonder too, my watch showed less than 10 minutes had elapsed. Even for a funrun-ish race, that is still too short. That worry resolved and with a huge gap to the next runner, I bode my time while wondering where the race will end. In the meantime, my teammate had taken over the lead and was pulling ahead, having run with him countless times in practice, I knew it would be next to futile to chase him down. The next option was to target the state junior runners who were starting to flag a little. The runner I was tussling with earlier slowed down a bit, and I was able to overtake him for good this time. Soon after that we had to turn into a small street, only to be confronted by the finish less than 500 meters ahead. I swore under my breath as that would mean I had too short of the race left to make up the gap to the juniors. I still kicked hard, though maintaining an intense pace throughout the run took a lot out of me and I would guess my efforts looked as bad as it felt. I finished in 5th place behind my teammates and the juniors, though it was not an official race and there were no medals or prizes. Not long after, my erstwhile rival finished followed by... noone. Seriously, the few of us were waiting there at the finish with the officials and for a long time there was no runners crossing the finish. I mean I knew the gap between the leading group and the rest was big, but surely not this BIG.

Our confusion was answered though, as it turned out that the rest of the runners weren't directed into the junction and the police mistakenly directed them to continue along the road instead. As for us, we were lead by a motorcycle so there were no troubles. Most of the runners took it in good humour since the run was pretty short anyway, barely 4km, and they took it as getting some extra exercise. I couldn't say that though for one particular junior runner whom I knew though. He was always the arrogant sort and his attitude does not befit his ability and true to form, he was quite pissed and criticised the organisers, not openly of course, just to fellow runners who he deems to be worthy. Inwardly, I was just glad that I was able to comprehensively clean him up in the run instead.

The minor hiccups aside, the race was quite fun and water bottles and buns were generously distributed and there was also a lucky draw. For the first time in a long while or maybe ever, I won a lucky draw prize. It was only a bell like paperweight thingy but still it was something. Oh and it was my adidas Chiba Pro's race debut. So all in all a good effort.

Running Hard, Hanging Tough

2008-05-10T02:39:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks have been tough, as far as training is concerned. In less than a month, I managed to lose my fire, find it again, and it's burning brighter to boot. Unfortunately, a perfect parade is just asking to be rained on, and my renewed vigour was countered by a nagging ankle injury. Despite my often flippant replies to injury worries raised by family and friends, getting injured is a real boogeyman at the back of my brain. I might have been more callous about this kind of thing when I was younger (heck, I sound so old saying this), but the knowledge gained made me realise that injuries are not to be trifled with and I naturally think the worse whenever I feel any pain.

A usual scenario the past few weeks have been something like this. I would be about to go out for a run and then the moment I take a few strides, the pain in my ankle would be like a warning klaxon on a sinking ship. Basically that is the point where I would have to make a decision whether to suck it up and just press on or just quit. The outcome has been about 50-50 and dependent on my state of mind. Anyway, I chose the suck it up option for my past 2 runs, lo and behold, I discovered that my pain actually goes away when I run. It's just that I have to get past the initial moments of discomfort. Of course, I have completely no idea whether I am actually doing more harm than good but what the heck, the time has come for me to just throw caution to the wind if I am to achieve any of my goals.

KL marathon race report

2008-03-31T09:22:00.000-07:00

The big day finally arrived, and not a minute soon enough I would say. I had been training my ass off since the very beginning of the year (and I mean very, I started that afternoon barely after shaking off my New Year's tipple). Trust me, in my entire career as a runner, I have never trained continuously for such a long time, and with no other competition in the mean time to boot. My body might have been getting fitter, but my mind was getting fatigued and antsy. I was itching to race.

Besides being probably my biggest race so far, topping the Penang Bridge Run, it was also my first race of the year, and also the first since my 'train focused' approach started. Talk about triple the pressure. A lot of things happened while I was in KL too, but since this is a race report I will leave running unrelated stuff for another post. Maybe.

Anyway, some background information. For the 3 months of training, the 5 hours of back-breaking boredom in a bus, and the fear of running in an alien course, I decided to set my targets high, very high in hindsight. To be exact, I aimed to finish in under 90 minutes.

On race morning, I basically went with familiar routine, since it's not wise to try new stuff on race day. I wore my trusty Brooks T4 racers, and my usual Brooks 02 hiking team vest and Asics shorts ensemble. I did bring along my adidas KOTR vest, but I decided to wear the Brooks because it was a badge of honour to represent my team all the way here in KL, not to mention the fact that I will probably be the only one wearing that vest. Yes I am a stickler for individuality, so sue me.

I reached Dataran Merdeka, which was the starting and ending area, at about 5.15am, plenty of time to spare before the 6 am start. I whiled away my time doing some lacklustre jogging and halfhearted strides and looking around for familiar faces. I guess my 3 hours plus of sleep didn't help and my Red Bull had not kicked in yet. I then wisely decided to visit the loo, in mind of a probable rush for the toilet by the other runners just before the start. Thus relieved, I sautered over to the starting area. Yup, my race mood started to fire up. I also bumped into a familiar face, one of the regulars in Botanicals. I even joined him in a long run 2 weeks before, though that was interrupted by some untimely bowel movement. May history do not repeat itself here, was my fervent wish.

By the time I reported to the starting line, there was already quite a crowd ahead, which means they were between me and the starting line, definitely not good. Using my slight build to maximum effect I managed to weasel my self forward, though my efforts still left me with a crowd ahead of me, just smaller. Now it was just a matter of time. Then "BOOM!!".

My mid-pack status hindered my progress in those initial stages. Thoughts going through my mind involved words like 'fuck', 'why do slow people insist on standing in f front??!!', 'move outta my way, slowpoke'. After annoyingly long seconds of shuffling to the start line, the jam loosened up a lot. I immediately zeroed in on a runner zooming by, deciding to use him as a pacer. In contrast to my usual tactic for half marathons, I decided not to go out slow any more and resolutely stuck with my pacer. To my shock, my body was already feeling the effects, with my legs feeling sore and my right ankle feeling very painful. Keep in mind that was within about 2km after the start. Honestly though, those have always been old problems of mine, but usually in shorter races. My mind was blaring at me to take a break or walk rather loudly, but my experience told me to just shrug it off.

The first few km of scrambling soon settled into a calmer rhythm. The course made things tough though, with small uphills and downhills and many turns. Surprisingly I coped quite well with that, even though hills were never my strong point. About 5 km in, I managed to lose my pacer. Almost around this point a pair of female runners overtook me and left me in my dust. I managed to limit the damage, and instead used them to pace myself. Forgive me for being a bit sexist, but it does hurt to be beaten by a girl, what more two at once.

The race soon settled into a steady pattern, with flyovers providing the pain factor. As expected, my problem ankle went numb a few more km afterwards, allowing me to cruise along at a comfortable pace. My hopes for some guide for checking my pace were wrecked though, with the idiotic placing of drinking stations. No way in hell will I run 30 minutes for 5 km, which basically screwed up my pace plan. The trouble was that they did not take into account the changes in this year's route and placed the stations at the same spot but did not make the resulting changes to the distance marking.

After some time in the outskirt region of the city, the course took us back into the city centre. In other words, I was as confused as hell with more twists and turns. At least I know that it will be about 2.5 km between each drink station so I just focused on getting to the next one, slow down, grab a drink them gradually pick up again. Eventually I managed to overtake 1 of the female runners, but the other one was just increasing the gap. From about a few metres ahead, she was just flying out of sight by the time I approached the finishing straight. I consider myself a fast finisher, but it was humbling to be dusted by her. In my defense though, that lady was from Singapore and finished in 5th in the women's open category.

I gave it my all, and I can't complain about that. Still, I only managed to clock 1:36.29, for 32nd place, waaaay off my target time. The redeeming factor was that I managed to beat my previous best by about 3 minutes. That kinda put things in perspective about the standards I have to reach to achieve my goals.

A fallen warrior, a brand new successor

2008-03-20T06:13:00.001-07:00

The signs have been showing up, slowly at first, but gradually gathering steam, until it is simply impossible to ignore. Yes, my beloved Prospec marathon racers that I use for my gym sessions have been breaking down. It started with wear and tear on the soles, doubtless having been worn down by the friction between them and their perpetual nemesis, the treadmill belt. Nevertheless, they have never boasted great traction, which was why I delegated them to gym duty in the first place, as they are not grippy enough to risk on the roads. After all that pounding though, something has to give. The next thing that didn't feel right was the feel. Even though it didn't have any fancy schmancy cushioning technology, it was usually quite good in dampening body jarring shocks. Despite the clunky appearance too, it carried me to some great workouts and my 10k PR on the treadmill to boot. Lately though, it has started showing it's age, the workouts started becoming more of a might. Don't get me wrong, I am not implying that running is totally reliant on the shoes you use, but sometimes the responsiveness of your shoe plays a part, and sadly the Prospec's responsiveness feels dead. The time is definitely near for me to say goodbye.

While warriors fall, there will always be new heroes to take their place. And while the Prospec was a hero for me working in the background, I have recently acquired a new pair of racers that I hope will be as much of a hero in the front lines. I present to you my adidas Chiba Pro racers. Unlike the Prospecs, this one will be for races apart from the odd run or so. This shoe will also take over the mantle of lightest and lowest shoe in my collection from my T4 racers.

Even though, I haven't really run enough in them to come to a conclusion. Preliminary runs indicate that this will be a smashing shoe. What else can I say after I managed to do 11km in my first run in them? I just seem to be able to cruise on and on in them.

Anyway, I hope I will be able to do a shootout comparison between my Chiba Pros and my T4s.

(Not quite)Midterm review

2008-03-16T08:37:00.001-07:00

Since my handful of readers have been rather persistent in asking for updates to this blog, and I have run out of excuses, I think I will oblige them for once. Of course, this is also a good chance to reflect on all the training I did for the KLIM, what with it being just 2 weeks away.

Anyway, for the first time since I started running, I started a running log. That was 11 weeks ago. It was no coincidence that it was right smack in the New Year season, where I felt that I needed not only a change in my training, but also my approach towards it, if I were to really improve in my running. I needed to be more systematic, hence the creation of my running log. That was also when I had gotten a new pair of running shoes, and I don't know better motivation for running than a new pair of kicks, for me at least. Even though, the KLIM wasn't confirmed yet at that time, I more or less expected it to happen around March, thus giving me about 12 weeks or so, perfect for the training cycle I was about to undergo.

Enough of time traveling. Since then, I have logged 495km, welcomed a new pair of racers, spent countless lonely hours in the gym and busted in a water bottle and a bag. The mileage totted up includes significant mileage only though, and does not include stuff like speed work and hill work. They are listed just as strides, sprints, or hill depending on their type in the log along with the number I did. The main reason I do not include their distance is simply because I can't. I don't have an accurate measuring device for that, and at the relatively short distances the variation in accuracy makes a big difference. And I also do not want to kid myself by claiming I ran a longer distance in a shorter time. In running, it's just better to be honest to yourself or at least err on the side of caution, rather than fuel your ego.

After looking through my log, I also noticed a trend, an unintended one. For the first two months, I did a huge chunk of my training on the treadmill at my gym and the grass field near my house. Don't get me wrong, this is actually a good thing. Those months are more or less my base building months, and those surfaces are better in the respect that they lessen they beating my body takes. In contrast, I did more of my runs on the road the past few weeks, which is wise because my body needs to adjust to the pounding since the race will be on tarmac. All in all I am satisfied with that aspect of training.

As for regrets, there are plenty. Chief among them is that I could have done more mileage, even though I am already at my highest ever. There will always be the run I could have squeezed in, the morning I should have woke up earlier, the week that was lost to Chinese New Year. Whenever sloth takes over my mind, and I am left with the pieces of a missed opportunity, I always console myself with the excuse that my body needed the rest. Still, that nagging feeling of guilt will always lurk in the shadows.

Anyway, that's it for my review of my training. Despite all the troubles though, I am pretty glad I made it this far, with no real injury to boot. Let's just hope the last two weeks before the big day will be even better.

Inspiration or delusion?

2008-02-22T06:56:00.000-08:00

With my search for a running partner mirroring my search for a girlfriend, I have to continue soldiering on solo in my runs. And like a broken record, I will continue to reiterate the hardships of such a solo quest. There is a real danger of a wire or two short-circuiting upstairs. Boundaries tend to get blurred and impossible things seem possible. Heck this might even get mistaken as runners' high by a lot of those hippie jogger types. After all euphoria and agony are easily confused for each other even in normal circumstances, what more by a semi-catatonic runner on his 10th loop of a boring course.

Anyway, I have a secret weapon when the going gets tough. As cheesy as it sounds, I always draw up those pseudo morale lifting songs from sports movies, more specifically the songs from the Rocky series. Going uphill, hearing the theme to the movie really helps. The song 'Eye of the tiger' also comes up every so often, especially when I am left to do some catch up with the frontrunners. I imagine myself as a tiger bearing down on them.

So after all that, I will leave it up to you whether running is all about inspiration or hapless delusion.

Level up

2008-02-17T07:41:00.001-08:00

This past week I have been attempting to lengthen my runs. I felt that endurance was one of the key areas that I could really improve on, but then again that wouldn't be a problem in the first place if I could just run long at the snap of my fingers.

The thing is that distance running is veeeeeery boring if done alone. So boring, in fact, that I have taken to counting footsteps, counting down time, trying to calculate the times I need to hit, among other things to keep myself occupied. It's not so much the body but the mind that gets tired after a while.

Then there's the body, like it or not, running long is going to hurt, one way or another. There might be some minor niggles or maybe the socks didn't fit right or the shoelaces are too tight, either way they will all throw a king-sized spanner into the works. External factors aside, the legs or lungs might not feel right, and when things don't go right, it's easy to get demoralised. With your motivation gone, it's only a matter of time before you fall to the temptation of quitting your run.

With all of that in mind, I had already had about 2 or 3 aborted 1 hour runs. Due to a combination of the above reasons, they have all been scaled back to about 40 minute runs. Considering my previous runs though, they have been an improvement, heck they might even have passed for my long runs in the bad old days. Still, I got a target to hit, and that target requires a new kind of bullet, the long range kind.

One of the stumbling blocks to me running long is my refusal to slow down to a shuffle. At the very least, I must have some semblance of being a runner not a jogger. Besides that, I have taken the words of my ex-coach to heart. He told me that when you are falling way short of your target times in a workout, it's often better to not struggle on and do it just for the sake of it. So yeah, I am a picky runner.

Ok enough of the rambling and back to today. I was on the verge of setting a new record for my weekly mileage until my aversion to running long did me in. Still, the situation was still salvageable if I really stuck to my Sunday plan for a long run. In my kiasu-ness, I even did a morning run at the gym too. This was a modestly paced 7.3k, since my projected long run was in the back of my mind. In a way, this run decreased some of the pressure, as running it allowed me to hit my regular mileage of 50km.

I went out for my long run with the late afternoon run still searing overhead, as if daring me to come challenge it's wilting powers. I refused to be cowed though, even if I had been defeated by it in the past. My plan was to do a 10k, not really a long run, but I decided to see how things felt before proceeding further. My itinerary this time was simple, run to Botanical Gardens, then do loops inside until I feel dizzy or pass out.

The run there was uneventful, an aside from some residual lower leg tightness, relatively pain free. I kept my rhythm constant and tried to keep relaxed. After doing some mental calculations (another way to stave boredom), I determined that I had to do another 9 laps on top of my run there. That number scared me a bit though, so I tried not to dwell on that. After shaking off my soreness, I actually felt great and was able to enjoy my loops. I was quite pleased to find that I could just relax and enjoy the ride, this is what I really signed up for, too bad it's few and very far between (pun unintended). Whenever boredom threatened to creep in, I tried to calculate the splits for each loop, and how far I had run. I found that I was still going strong even as I was approaching my targeted distance, so I decided to try to tack on a few more loops and hit the hour mark.

The hour mark came and went, and I decided to go for another couple of loops. In the end, I managed 14 laps in addition to my run there. Hell the great feeling was just unreal, I felt that I really made a breakthrough. I could even remember my split times. To top it off, I blew right past my previous weekly mileage and did 65km in total. Just amazing.

P.s. I still need running partners. Boredom will be back for double payback after today.

Perspective

2008-02-12T22:35:00.001-08:00

Emerging from the typical Chinese New Year binge, I reckon that my fitness survived quite well, and I was able to resume my training. Speaking about my training, I have always felt that I am progressing quite well. That is, until I got a sense of perspective a couple of days ago.

I met up with an ex-teammate of mine, Jia Hao. He's also a runner, albeit a sprinter. Like me, he also decided not to hang up his spikes after hightailing it out of Chung Ling. Of course being a sprinter his goals deviate a bit from mine, as there are no road races for him to shine in. Instead, he's aiming for the Malaysia Games later in the year.

Being a runner and eternally curious about personal bests, I inevitably shifted the topic to what his current best for the 100 is for. 10.9 seconds was his answer. Though it didn't surprise me, I was still a bit taken aback. Here I was, thinking I was the shit every time I finished a tough workout, and I couldn't be further away from the truth. While it is strange to draw comparison with a sprinter, the truth is that he is relatively further along in his training, and I have to really work harder to be on a similar level statistically.

As for getting the hurt on, I already started on it since the afternoon right after that meeting. I just went and did a 40 minute run on the field. Of course, I would have to neglect the fact that I projected a 1 hour run instead. Sigh, life is tough for a distance runner.

Long(ish) run

2008-02-01T07:29:00.001-08:00

In my quest to be at least a decent runner, I am ever willing to try out new training plans. However, there is more or less a constant in my training, my Friday runs.

After a week of mostly treadmill or field runs, Friday will be the day I step down to the roads, weather and mood permitting. Friday runs are also my longest runs, which doesn't happen for the sake of it. The real reason behind this is that I will be running with the group I represent, the O2 Hiking Team. I am not the type that likes to plod along for hours at a snails pace, I get bored, plain and simple. So after a week of training by my lonesome self, I use the opportunity of training with my teammates to push myself to longer distances. Nevertheless, my so called long runs are still only about 10 or 11 km, which is still waaaaaay too short. Anyhow, one step at a time.

Today's weather looked a bit dreary and I could feel the damp air. Needless to say, the gloomy weather did nothing to help lift my already unmotivated spirits. However a quick reminder to my inner self that sunny, uplifting weather will only result in mid-run thirst and suffering soon rectified matters.

While the O2 gang usually start at the Botanical Gardens, I usually increased my run distance by running to the gardens and then continuing on. On my way there, I saw that a few of them were already well on their way. I stuck to my plan though, as I really need to do more mileage. The plan called for a round of the uphill sections inside the gardens in addition to the usual small round. Running that uphill part was bound to be hard, even for someone with fresh legs and I braced myself for the torrent of negative thoughts that will flow through my mind. Surprisingly, the bombardment never came, and I just flowed through that climb with surprising lack of pain. Of course, the cool weather might have something to do with that. Still, my confidence was boosted, and I increased my effort.

The next stretch out of the gardens, was all flat, at least until the Youth Park. Even so, the hardest hill part was behind me. The hills facing me next were not so much one big difficult climb as they were a multitude of small climbs, annoying ones. I managed to keep my rhythm, which was important in managing the hills. Pretty soon, I strode through my run, such was the apparent ease. So much so that on my return trip, I felt good enough and motivated enough to push hard. This was completely different to most of my previous runs, where my last minute pushes were more of forced efforts.

After finishing the run, I did 5 hill charges with one of the faster guys on the team. Overall, a very solid training day.

Nocturnal drama 2

2008-01-28T23:10:00.001-08:00

Bad news, I had another nightmare just now. This time it is also about exams, but with a slight kung fu-commuter-thieving twist.

The earliest detail I can remember is me taking public transport (most of my dreams have some variation on this, I wonder why). This time the public transport in question is the bus (no surprises here). The driver looked a bit shifty, as if he was stoned or something. At least he wasn't that stoned to walk around, except that he did it while the bus was moving. Whoa, I think my dreams just stepped up a notch, autopilot for buses and the old Hin company type of buses at that! The surreality didn't end there. Halfway through, the bus morphed into a passenger ferry. Too bad that was the only thing that changed, because the driver didn't cure his wanderlust. There was a few close calls too, with the bus/ferry missing a few other (larger) boats at the last second.

Anyway, I did manage to reach dry land in one piece, and quite close to my intended destination too, assuming I am headed to my gym, since my targeted destination was never made clear. We were dropped off at Island Plaza of all places, and the driver just left and entered the Plaza, leaving me with a busload of puzzled passengers. Some of them wandered off, but I decided to stay put, there's a possibility the driver went just off to buy some weed, since similar things have happened in real life. True enough, he did return, but too bad I couldn't remember what happened after this point.

Scene two was more scary than scene one which was just plain baffling. Anyway, I found myself up against a familiar foe, exams. This time it was the science subjects, all of them. I was handed a booklet full of the questions and without much further thought, I went straight down to work. The first question was from biology, and after a while I surprisingly managed to do it. It took even faster to burst my bubble. A friend who was nearby reminded me that we were physics students, and asked why I was looking at the first section of the booklet, which is all biology. The temperature started rising at this point, and it didn't help matters than I didn't have a clue about the questions I am supposed to know about.

Scene three was about exams too, but with a twist. This time we had to complete a paper on the Moral subject. At least we were given a somewhat fair chance. We were to go for a talk before taking the paper. And for whatever reason I was carrying a sword, a good one apparently. After listening to the talk, I bumped into a bratty kid and his father outside the coffeeshop where the talk was held (go figure). He proceeded to boast about his sword. I tried to take it for a while, but finally burst his bubble. Having said my mind, I packed up my stuff and proceeded to head for the classrooms where the exam will be held. My gut told me I left something behind, so I had to check through all my swords. To make things worse, they were identical, but I somehow knew that my best sword was left behind. I had no choice but to rush back and look for it. Somehow, I had a nagging feeling that it would have been in the possession of that bratty kid. Upon reaching the coffeeshop/lecture hall, I found that another class is in session and their stuff was strewn about. Even better, there were a few swords there too. At this point, whatever morals I had about thieving evaporated. I just started searching through the piles of belongings there. In the end I didn't find my sword, but I did find a couple of nice blades, which I took. Disintegration of morals over, I was just about to return to my exam when I awoke with a jerk. Perhaps, the exams in my dreams are more about practical application than I thought.

Yet another boring run

2008-01-27T08:58:00.001-08:00

The original plan for today was to get to Youth Park at about 7.30 am to do some training and sign up for the KL International Marathon. Unfortunately, my computer had other plans and stuck itself to my face until about 4 am, so that basically put paid to Plan A. The next option would naturally be Plan B, which is to get to Youth Park at 8.30 am, since the registration drive would be going on until 9.30 am.

Having missed my earlier wake up call, there was some regret in me while I was running to the park. The sun was simply shining too hot, seriously. It was still about 8.45 or so, but it felt like 9 something sunshine (yes, there is a difference). Upon reaching the park, I kind of expected to see a crowd of people for the registration, or at least a few dozen , ok at least, at least a dozen, since the KLIM is quite a big event. Turns out that my expectations were a bit high, since the number of personnel available was about the same as the number of banners there, a handful. Nevertheless, I proceeded to hand over the RM 25 and signed up for the half marathon, which was quite worth it. In comparison, we had to pay RM 50 for the same category in last year's Penang Bridge Marathon in return for crappy organisation and smelly air. And oh yeah, the distance was kinda iffy, and the timing system was straight out of the 60s. For the KLIM, at least there will be a chip timing system and the distance is certified. As for the organisation, all reports from runners say it's more professionally done, but I will wait until I have run the race before I judge.

After signing up, I had a short talk with the personnel there. Turns out that including me, a total of 17 people signed up for the half, with about a dozen others for other distances. That being said, whoever is in the competition doesn't really matter, as a runner I only have control over what I run. Thinking about that made my kiasu-ness kick in. With the sun shining brightly, I proceeded to start my run, rolled up A4 sized receipt in hand and all. I headed for the nearby Botanical Gardens to do some loops and reminded myself to keep this run in the relaxed range.

I did run relaxed, for about the 6 minutes it took for me to run to the gates of the Botanical Gardens, until I saw another pro looking runner passing by just when I was about to start my loop. Next thing I know, the kiasu-ness stepped up a notch. Besides he doesn't seem to be going that fast upon closer examination, an I did not feel like I was expending that much energy to overtake him. The watch however told a different story. So much for pace discipline. At least, I am not feeling the strain at a pace where I would be working hard to keep up a year ago.

3 laps in, the other runner finished his run, so I was left to run alone. On the next loop, I got a better look at this mystery runner. Turns out that he was one of the regulars in local races, which kind of puts things in perspective, with him being a few years younger and never really posing a challenge in those races. After doing 8k or so, I ended the workout. With that out of the way, I took the opportunity to catch up with some news about my old teammates since he's training with them and I am a bit out of the loop.

Apparently, my self training have not gone down well with a few of them. I am taking all this with a pinch of salt, but this does provide an added impetus for me to train harder. The list of people I have something to prove to just increased. Training-wise, my decision to strike out on my own was somewhat validated by what I heard. The kind of training done by my ex-teammates would probably be too strenuous for my bones to take. Anyway, the only way to prove this is in direct competition with them, so I really hope to meet some of them in whatever upcoming races.

Target sighted

2008-01-26T08:45:00.000-08:00

Yes, I already have an immediate target. And no, not that kind of target (friends of mine will get this). This much vaunted target of mine is the Kuala Lumpur International Marathon half marathon race. I have about 9 weeks to go before the big event. In the mean time, you, my dear readers will be bored to death by my occasional posts about my preparations for this race.

I will consider this post as the first about my road to KL. With 9 weeks to go, it is time to get serious. There's no point signing up and paying the fees and additional bus fare to be just a face in the crowded procession of humanity. At the very least I must run a respectable time (read: personal best by a loooooooooong margin). With that thought in mind, I stepped on the treadmill at the gym for my first workout. OK, I lied. It wasn't my first workout, in fact I have been in training for since the first day of the year, but the previous part was true.

Anyway, today's treadmill workout was new in someways. For the first time, I set my starting speed at 13.6 kph, with a progression of 0.1 kph every 800 metres or so (see, I said it was going to be boring). At least that was my projected target, though you can never account for any problems along the way, as controlled a running environment as the treadmill is. My initial fears were proven correct, partly. I felt some strain at the start, but upon closer analysis, I was surprised to find that my breathing wasn't that laboured, and I could reasonably expect to keep this pace up for a long time. Being a masochist though, I stuck to the gameplan.

Halfway through my run, something even more surprising than the relative effort needed happened. A quite attractive girl and her dad walked in to my no frills gym. Oh well, at least I have some eye candy to keep me distracted from any running discomfort and I might even get subconsciously motivated (does it even count as subconscious if I was thinking about it even then?). In the end, I hung on until 9.1kilos with a rapid increase in pace the last few hundred metres. Not a bad workout at all.

Having done the cardio part, I proceeded to do my usual gym workout with an added emphasis on the core. Nothing much to talk about here, since what I have written so far should be enough to KO all but the most insomniac.

Runner: A beginner's guide

2008-01-18T09:21:00.001-08:00

Maybe you are into the wind blowing in your hair, or maybe it's the feeling of fat burning that gets your heart pumping, or maybe you are just plain masochistic. Whatever the reason, you decide to suffer the stares and whispered exchanges, and decide to become a runner. Congrats to those who take the first step, too bad for those who quit before the next.

Anyway, many of my friends are all gung ho about running in the beginning, and they bombard me with all sorts of questions, like what shoes to buy, how to run and the like. And once they get started, they will be eager to swap war stories with me. Which is all fine and good. Except that most of them probably quit one week in.

Unusually for my usually cold heart, this fact bothers me, probably because I miss swapping war stories. They kinda remind of when I started out. What can I say, I am a sentimental guy ;). But honestly, I really am reminded of when I started out. So I want to give a guide on how to start running, speed demon style of course.

Ok where do I start? Ah yes,the equipment. Basically you need none, but for those of you not into nude running and do not have thick soles, you need a T-shirt, shorts and shoes. For the attire, just wear whatever you are comfortable with, because you will be more inclined to stick with your run if you don't have a constant urge to rip off your shirt or shorts. Same goes for shoes, they have to be comfortable, everything else is secondary. That's why there's no hard or fast rule when it comes to shoe choosing, nor is there any 'good' brand or shoe. It's good if it fits you well, and lets you run in them without getting hurt, that's all there is to it. As to foot types and the accompany type of shoes, I have to admit it's not my area of specialty, so my advice will be limited to the above.

So now you are all kitted out and ready to roll, but where? If you are in less than decent shape, it would probably be wise to start out on more forgiving surfaces, namely trails and fields. Roads would be okay once you get used to the impact. Nevertheless, even seasoned runners do not do all their running on roads. As for location, obviously it must be familiar, lest you end up in the papers as one of those lost hikers.

You are running along your favourite route, or maybe labouring would be more suitable to describe it, and everything seemed to be so different from what you planned, you are beginning to hate it and this is definitely not what you signed up for. What I am talking about is the mental aspect. The physical aspect will take care of itself once you get to a certain level, but getting there will depend a lot on your will. In this area, I can consider myself to be quite proficient, simply because I am such a darn good liar to myself (read my previous post on how I do this). Bluntly speaking, when the going gets tough, you have to use whatever thoughts possible to motivate an unwilling body. The easiest way is to dangle a carrot, think of the good things that will happen if you complete your run. The other more nefarious way is to trick the body into completing it, an example of which is the "just one more corner to go" thought. Once you survived this "battle", you have to think about surviving the "war", since things do get boring in the long run. To do that, you can set yourself
some targets, like a certain level of fitness, or lose a certain amount of weight. Another way to break out of a rut is to vary the location of your runs.

Basically, I covered most of the initial mental aspects of running, but here are some extras. Many of my beginner friends are unwilling to run with me and they back it up with a multitude of excuses, like how they can't keep up with me or I will be too fast for them. I understand that they might not want to come off as arrogant, but believe me, to be a good runner you need a certain amount of arrogance and daring. Runners must not be cowards, and no matter how good your rival appears to be, you still need to believe in your own ability. This is especially true if you want to progress to racing. You might be overmatched, but it's not a sin to hope. The moment you stopped believing that you can be better than your rival, your progress stops.

Thoughts when running

2008-01-14T07:58:00.000-08:00

Forgive the clunky sounding title because there is honestly no other way to describe a post about, er, things I think about when I run.

1) "Why the hell is this road so long???". Very common thought, and usually accompanied by a a grimace of agony or anger, depending on whether I feel kickass or kickedass.

2) "Why the hell is this road so fucking long???". When the road in front is really really long and straight. No options on the grimaces this time, agony all the way.

3) "OMG, hot chick at 12 o'clock!!!". Unfortunately scarcer than I would like, and always accompanied by a straightening of my running form, no matter how wrecked I look a second before. Oh, pace increases accordingly, at least that's how it felt.

4) "Bloody open air burners!!!". Very common, in fact getting more rampant. Of course, that increases proportionately with the amount of environmentally ignorant retards who currently inhabit Penang.

5) "So little road, so many cars...". Thought while fervently praying none of those drivers in said cars are at my level of driving skill.

6) "Booooorrrrrriiiinnnnnggggg.......". Number 1 thought while on the treadmill. Unless a hot girl appears, whereupon the 3rd thought applies. 7 out of 10 thoughts while on the 'mill.

7) "Noob.". Another common thought while running ala treadmill. Always directed at the treadmill next to mine. To alleviate the boredom, I glance at the neighbouring treadmill every now and then, and try to envision myself running against a speedy runner, which is proving very hard to do with the people at the gym. 4 out of 10 thoughts on the treadmill, oh wait, it should be 3, or 2 and a half. Darn, told you treadmill running is mind-numbingly boring.

Nearly inevitably, pain and the urge to quit sets in. To counter that, I send, or rather think, forth these troops.

8) "Pain is permanent, glory is temporary.". Perversion of "pain is temporary, glory is forever" which is what I start out trying to think, then mysteriously mutates into it's more quit-friendly cousin. A staple in every run.

9) "You already made it this far, besides if you quit now you have to walk back anyway.". Flashes through mind at the furthest point from the start.

10) "If you can't complete this, how the fuck are you gonna win a real race.". Usually at the point where my delusions of grandeur set in.

11) "Do it for her.". Another misguided thought that my running will impress chicks. Darn, misguided thoughts are getting quite common.

12) "Come on, another minute(treadmill)/corner(road)!!!". Usually a lie, but somehow at that stage my body is stupid enough to believe it, and proceeds to believe the next 53262 similar lies. Yeah, I lie to myself a lot on my runs.

13) "Move it, the next runner is only 10 metres in front." Another lie that comes near the end, because most of the time they are further away, like 20 metres. Usually this is to spur myself to kick harder.

14) "Fast but relaxed." Aimed at my body, immediately after I bust out the kick induced by the previous thought. Darn, the mind is too bloody demanding.

Resolutions

2008-01-09T02:04:00.000-08:00

Anyway, back on topic. Ah, resolutions, the mere thought of it alternatively bolsters the spirit or sends shivers down the spine, depending on what stuff you are made of. Despite all the hoopla surrounding it, I mean the first thing most people say after greeting each other happy new year is 'Got any resolution or not ah?', I have never felt compelled to put my resolutions down in writing. I do have some hope for the coming year, sure, but most of them are kinda vague and subjective in nature, which kinda explains why most of my achievements are kinda vague and subjective, go figure.

Ok crapping aside, here are my resolutions.
1) I want to master driving. As lame as this sounds, this is probably the numero uno skill I need to have now, because no driving, no 'paktor', no 'kaului'.
2) I want to be a faster runner. Fast enough to get among the top placings in road races. If you insist on being more specific, I hope to run faster than 38 minutes for 10000 meters, 17 minutes for 5000m, 80 minutes for the half marathon. (okay, I added all those numbers to make my blog sound more sophisticated so fire away)
3) I want to get my target.
4) I want to sleep earlier. Too many late nights means too many wasted hours, definitely not good if I am to achieve resolution number 2.

2007 reasons to despair

2008-01-02T09:53:00.001-08:00

Ok I lied, it is not humanly possible to list out that many reasons to despair, not to mention no human being would survive that many too, which would have required me to be currently in the state of a vengeful spirit, which would bring untold mayhem to those still in the living world.

Nevertheless I did have quite a few reasons that have given me quite a lot of grief and sadness. And since people do not seem to like to read about happy stuff, I will make a list of thing that have made me experience unhappiness of varying degrees. Yes people, this is my list of failures in the year 2007. They may have happened in 2007 or may have been pre-existent and simply entended themselves into 2007.

1) The failures in things I am passionate about. I failed in my running. I wanted to make an impact in races. But in spite of my best efforts, I never could really make a breakthrough as a winner. Most of it is my fault, I was distracted and didn't have the will to gut it out in training or when racing.

I failed in my writing too, or more specifically my blogging. For most of the year, I was discouraged and felt lethargic when it comes to blogging and didn't update my blog for more than half a year. And when I did feel like blogging again, I failed all over again, and faced the very same pre-hiatus problem, lack of readers. Though I don't really expect any material gain from my blog, it is ego bruising to find noone interested in what you have to say.

2) The failures in things I am less passionate about. They may not be my favourites, but these are the things that matter, at least that's what everybody says. I failed in my studies. Not totally failed, I hope, but I didn't do justice to what I could have done. Throughout the year I just slacked and blamed it on a lack of interest in the subjects. By choosing Form 6 I have damned 2 years of my life to waste, with a few more uncertain ones to come.

I failed to drive. Despite getting my drivers license for quite a while now, I have not really mastered driving. I made excuses when my parents asked me to practice, and I still do now. To be honest, this due to cowardice. Yes, I am afraid of driving on the road. A few close calls during my first drive after getting my license was the reason, even though that was a long time ago.

3) The failure to be a good person. I failed to be myself. Certain situations cropped up and I resorted to wearing a mask to face them. I betrayed my what I stood for in favour of more popular choices.

I failed to be good family. I was a lousy family member, never caring enough, and never bothering to listen. There was tension with my parents, and most of it were due to failure number 2.

I failed to control myself. In temper, in desire for material things, and in emotions. I blew my top more often than I would like, and I still get angry more easily than I hope. I couldn't control my urge to buy new shoes too, and have used up quite a sum on them.

4) I failed in love. I couldn't get the girl I want, even though I had liked her for so many years. Opportunity cropped up time and again, about once every fortnight, but I didn't take it. Most seemed like a gift from the heavens, I chose the hell of doing nothing instead. In hindsight, it was fear and lack of courage (yes, they are different). I feared that anything I do will move her further away from me. I feared that whatever I did would scare her off. Instead of acknowledging the problem, I made excuses to myself, like she is too busy interacting with her family or that she seemed to be preoccupied with something else. I guess I am a liar to myself too. Though I don't think she reads this blog, I will not be more specific in describing her. Precisely because I fear.

In regards to 2007 being over, I will feel no small measure of relief. I hope that come new year 2009, my list will be reduced.

crazy...crazier...craziest...

2007-12-28T11:26:00.000-08:00

These past few days have been quite crazy for me, and no I am not talking about ugly Malaysian revelers. Heck, I was not even in Penang during Christmas' eve. Little did I know there was more than enough residual Christmas season craziness leftover when I did come back.

First off, I had a dinner appointment with my old Sixth Form Graduation Magazine committee, in of all places, Juru. Before your eye's fall out from surprise, we didn't go the Juru the sleepy town, we went to Juru Autocity aka the most flashy bling bling greatest gift to motorheads and petrolheads and lovers of fine dining, or at least that's what I think the people who first thought up the concept wanted it to seem. Oh, and did I mention that Juru happens to be on the other side of the pond and is located in some godforsaken place, and we had to make do with a two lane Penang Bridge. Ok to be fair that area really wasn't so bad, since it used to be heavily forested, key words being used to be. To be honest, I experienced a bit of a shock to the system when we drove into Autocity because I minute I have cars passing me by while gazing into a verdant horizon, the next moment I am looking at cars passing me by against a desert backdrop. Even wondered whether I got abducted by aliens and got transported to a different world. No kidding, passing it by while traveling on the highway is one thing, being there is another. My first impression is that I am looking at Tatooine from Star Wars, except the buildings were more 'squarish'. Which brings me to my second observation, I felt like the whole place was a gigantic toy city, what with all the super expensive sportcars and 'exuberant' look of the buildings there. Well, at least there were sportcars.

Gripes about the place aside, I was actually looking forward to meeting my old mates, that is until I forgot that my friends were not the only ones in the committee, and there were some other dates brought along too. Nothing I can do about that though, so I spent the time cracking crude jokes every chance I got. You never know when I am going to see them again, so I might as well give them enough crass humour to last them for the road.

Having survived the initial shock, I finally got a look at where we will be dining in. It appeared to be quite funky, although I still couldn't make out what kind of cuisine we will be feasting on. Blame the ignorance on ~~faddish~~ fine dining on the lack of money and adventurous palate. Another question immediately came to mind though, since we did travel so far for this, and that was whether the restaurant had a branch on the island. Surprisingly they do. At least, I had more time crack my jokes.

By the time we got to dig in, I had finally came to the conclusion that Sushi King isn't the only chain of Japanese restaurants available. With the question about the type of cuisine out of the way, it was time to do justice to the all you can eat package that we paid for. And eat we did, with plate after plate after plate of Japanese food heading for our table, with Ling Wei my fellow editor providing colour commentary on the prices of the food heading for our gut. All the hand to mouth action required to stuff the food must had tripped something in my brain because halfway through I did something most thinking lifeforms will not do. I chucked a dollop of green, mean wasabi into my mouth.

Jupes decided that I can't have the title as the sole insane wasabi swallowing kid and proceeded to top me by consuming an even bigger dollop. With the gauntlet thrown and more food down my throat, I accepted his challenge with 3 dollops...which he duly replied with 4. All this nostril stinging, palate killing action wasn't in vain though as we managed to establish the Wasabi Law (provisional only until we find a better name), the amount of food consumed in close proximity of wasabi is directly proportional to the degree of craziness you exhibit.

Everything must come to an end though, even nights coloured green by wasabi. The sole consolation from my exploits with the green stuff seems to be that my full stomach didn't feel so full already on the way back. Oh wait, that is supposed to be a bad thing...

In the line of fire

2007-12-17T06:19:00.000-08:00

Bloggers have drawn flak for being political or controversial, sometimes justified but just as often unjustified. In Malaysia, this blogger-authority conflict has escalated to the point that bloggers are vilified just because they blog. The thing is though, the more controversial blogging about politics become, the more people will follow this path.

Personally, I feel some blog for the wrong reasons. They blog because it is 'in' or because their friends have blogs. Most of the time, this can be seen in their content, or presentation of their blog. But by blogging about politics and controversial issues, they present a measure of gravitas and notoriety to their writings. Unfortunately, a lot of them just regurgitate what they read on other more established blogs, being just mere carbon copies, albeit of poorer quality. In my opinion though, plagiarizing is still better than spinning lies. Even though, blogging is not a formal form of media, we bloggers owe it to our readers to at least present the truth as best as possible. Just because a story sounds good in a certain way doesn't make it our right to bend the truth towards that way. Of course there are those that feel that the truth is whatever they assume. There is nothing more I can say if that happens.

For me, I will probably not blog about anything controversial or political anytime soon. Blogging is an escape for me, besides, there are already so many blogs that dwell on weighty issues, I might as well let them do what's best.

(If this post looks rather out of place, it's been a slow blogging day, and I want to get some issues out of the way.

Nocturnal drama

2007-12-12T22:22:00.001-08:00

I have been experiencing some nightmares these past few days. Well ok, maybe not exactly nightmares, at least not in the conventional psycho horror movie type, but they were disturbing to me in a funny kind of way.

It started about 2 nights ago. The setting seemed normal, nothing out of this world or dimension, just your typical boring daytime Penang. For seasoned dreamers though, most will know that the more mundane a dream is, the more ominous it will turn out to be. That's well and obvious when you are reflecting on it wide awake. Unfortunately, I was in the usual catatonic mental state induced by slumber and logic processes would have made Salvador Dali proud. Like in many previous pseudo-nightmares before, I was suckered into tagging along for the ride.

The first dream was about me returning to school, despite not knowing for what purpose. One moment I was blissful stupor, the next I found myself standing outside the classroom I took my STPM in. Turns out that I wasn't alone, all my friends were there too. No one really knew why until someone mentioned that we were supposed to take a Chinese exam, which really got me panicking. Fortunately, my heart didn't have the chance to beat dangerously hard for this dream ended immediately afterwards.

Respite wasn't exactly the order of the day though, as I was bombarded by the sequel, err prequel, ermm reimagining perhaps? I just don't know how to define it. It was about me preparing for another STPM paper. Yup this paper was, drumrolls please, Chinese. Oh I was doing some last minute preparation, as in 1 hour before the start, and get this, I was at home. How the hell do dreams really work anyhow? That must be the most unrealistic plotline ever. No way in hell will I be caught at home 1 hour before an exam, and so will most of my fellow exam sufferers too, unless their house is next door to the school. Anyway enough of the digression, the images of me studying my 'Ming Ju' and idioms really seemed like old footage from the SPM era, retouched with cutting age CGI of course. Half an hour before the exam, I finally realise I have to be at the exam centre to actually take the exam and frantically gets Mum to drive me to school. Whaddaya know, the dreaded worse case scenario happened on the way, Penang killer traffic jams, leaving me late.

Thankfully there was no more similar dreams following that. The next night, last night, did throw up another drama though. This time around, the dream was really similar to the first one, down to the appearing outside the classroom and seeing friends details. The subject was different though it was equally outside the scope of what I really did study for the STPM. The subject of the night turned out to be Bahasa Malaysia, which didn't really induce as much fear, which is possibly why the dream didn't stop there and then. I managed to grope around my bag for my pen and pencils, and even retrieved my ID from my wallet and took my seat before the dream ended.

Now the reason I wouldn't really classify them as nightmares is because I didn't even know that they were nightmares when I was having them. I only knew they were pseudo-nightmarish upon thinking about them after waking up. Sometimes I just wish that I would dream about pretty girls all night like everyone else...

Post school blues

2007-12-11T07:18:00.000-08:00

Today I had to return to my alma mater, ostensibly to claim my leaving school certificate. In addition it seemed like a good opportunity to catch up with some of my old teammates and hand over something to my friend. With that thought in mind, I woke up at about 7 am to slightly ominous weather. Regardless, I was hopeful that I might be able to sneak in a run.

After mum dropped me off, I proceeded to wander around the school premises, who knows what interesting happenings one can bump into on a bleak school break morning. Unfortunately, things didn't turn out as planned and the bleak weather complemented the sleepy atmosphere. I did bump into one of my friends, Jupes, and he did waaaaay better than any of the notices present, or rather absent, in telling me where & when the cert collection is on. Apparently, I was early by about 2 hours as the typically unorthodox school administration decided to start at 10 am. Whatever happened to standard operating hours? Maybe they foresaw the rainy weather and thought everyone was going to sleep in. I guess government schools are like government departments, inefficient.

That news certainly didn't lift my already dark mood, so I had to find a way to kill time. Enter Plan B, hanging out with my mates. That and also the gym room will be a whole lotta warmer. The moment I stepped into the room, I just felt a blast from the past. The teammates who showed up were still mostly the same faces. It certainly takes perseverence to train through the holidays, something which I find increasingly lacking among the incoming students. I guess our winning tradition will be dwindling to an end.

Midway through catching up and goofing around, I received a call from the friend I was supposed to meet. I had wanted to tag along with him for a morning run, but the inclement weather and other factors put paid to that. Nevertheless, we had an interesting chat. Talking with Larry will never be boring for me, because he will have an interesting take on things, and his delivery is just hilarious, no matter whether he intended it to be that way or not. Meeting up with him will also inevitably bring back a tinge of nostalgia. Memories of my time with Frenchy, yheushen, JR, and Larry will always come flooding back.

My trip down memory lane over, I trooped back to the gym, more than an hour left to kill. The other objective on my agenda, meeting my teacher/coach, was up next, just awaiting for him to arrive. And arrive he did, though he was rather late by his standards, at the tailend of the team's workout.

I managed to discuss a bit of my future training before he had to leave. With that, my whole reason for being in school this morning ended, bar the cert collection. Walking around, I managed to overhear some sleepy-eyed fellow cert collectors saying that the desk will only open at 10.30am, which will just deepen my annoyance towards the school authorities. Recent complains from some of my friends about problems in their curricular marks didn't help my mood. In the mean time, I decided not to wait beyond 10 am & called my dad to pick me up. 10 am did come and there was no sign of any collecting being done, so I left. Screw the bloody cert.

Finally its over

2007-12-04T07:20:00.000-08:00

I remember when I started blogging, the night before my last paper in the SPM. 2 years on, my commitment to blogging has not been as firm as I would hope. But fret not, despite the somewhat misleading title up there, I will not be pulling the plug just yet and will try to post as regularly as possible.

What the title really refers to is another big kahuna of an exam, the SPM's big brother, the STPM (with the extra T for terrible, torturous, tepid, trivial, tumultuous, 'tulan', ... insert your own suitable adjective), which has been sucking way too much of my soul these past 18 months. It is with no small measure of relief that I can finally close this chapter of my life.

The tile may also be apt to in reference to my days in my school uniform. From white shirt and dark green shorts, to white shirt & pants, the differences between the times in each uniform has been as drastic as the colours. However, it is with great regret and sorrow that I leave the gates of my school as a student. For 7 years, I have worn any 1 of the 4 school crests in rotation. Those school crests have been with me since the very first few months of my time as a Chung Ling student and will continue to be with me with pride, save 1 which I lost right after my last paper, when the shirt it was on lost its hold on the car radio antenna it was flying high on. At least it went out flying high. That crest will be fondly and forever remembered.

Anyway, long winded posts tend to bore my readers, so I will end my post now. To quote Star Wars 4: Return of The Jedi, I hope this will be the first of the new, not the last of the old.

Gym Chronicles: Gym Creatures

2007-02-12T07:53:00.000-08:00

About 3 months ago, I decided to finally go to the gym. After all, it is not easy to say no when faced with the combined goading and persuading powers of mum and aunt. They needed a gym 'kaki' to keep them company and I was just about to start my year-end school break. So I decided to take the plunge and give being a gym rat a shot.

Onwards to the present, I can say that I have never regretted that decision and am now firmly entrenched as a regular gym-goer. Besides working out, I admit that the gym is a good place to observe people, from a purely intellectual perspective of course. In fact, I would go so far as to say the most important things in a gym is not the weights or equipment but the people there.

From my observations I have grouped my fellow gym-goers into a few loose groups.

1)Mr. Universe - People that fall into this category are probably the most easily noticed in the gym. Hey, who would fail to notice a huge guy rippling with muscle, capable of bench-pressing a Kancil easily. To qualify as one of them, you need to follow certain characteristics, like consuming protein supplements, buy bodybuilding magazines, group your gym workouts by major body parts, and spend half the time scrutinising your body in the mirror. They also workout for the sake of working out. So far, there is only one guy who strictly falls into this category, as he competes in bodybuilding competitions. There are a few other non-bodybuilders however who can qualify under this category, even if it is more for the mirror observing. But honestly, all of them are really decent people, and they do know their stuff and are humble about it.

2)Gym rat - Most people would consider this group identical to the previous one, in fact I would have thought the same 3 months ago. Upon closer inspection and immersion in gym culture though, I really do feel there is a difference. They are not as hardcore about working out, though that is still only a relative comparison. They are not as specific or particular about their workouts, though also relative since they do seriously workout and have decent form and technique. Perhaps the biggest difference between the two though, is that gym rats regard working out as a secondary activity, more as a tool to help them in other sports or to gain fitness. I would consider myself as part of this group, along with a few other swimmers (my gym is at a swimming club), and some older guys.

3)Normal people - For lack of a suitable adjective, I feel normal is the best way to describe this demographic. They are the casual gym goers, who are quite laid back about their workout, but are really trying to make the most of their time in the gym. Most do not utilise free weights in their routines, preferring instead to use weight machines, treadmills or stationary cycles.

4)Slackers/posers - Unfair or not, this is the group that grates on my nerves the most. They live in their own world, going through the motions yet feel that what they are doing are beneficial. I do not mind this however, as whatever happens is none of my business, but the thing is that they take up space, literally. Due to their aversion to moving fast, they occupy the limited number of equipment available for unnecessarily long periods of time. It is no big surprise that they are also the most straining on the eyes, another one of my pet peeves. Their sheer glory of their appearance are the single biggest distraction. Ironically, they would probably be the first to ask why the gym workouts do not seem to be helping them physically. hmmmm, tough question, maybe they will read about it in the magazines they peruse when they workout.

So there, a rough idea of the people who frequent gyms. Do note however that they are loose groupings and many of my fellow gym goers fall under more than one category.

One last ride (or rather run)

2007-01-20T08:57:00.000-08:00

I did not actually plan to write today, but I bumped into a friend online, who was about to write another post in her blog, so I guess I got temporarily interested again, merely by association. Having decided on that, I also actually wanted to write something serious today, due to the events of the past week. But what the hell, I would rather write about something that I like that use that chance to get back at someone.

Anyway, back on topic. In less that a week, I will be lining up at a race. Probably the last official race representing my school. That statement sure sounds depressing, and the setting of this race will back that up. To be exact, I will be lining up at a location far away from home base, shivering because of the early morning cold, eyes squinting at the surroundings, lest a foot gets twisted even before the race starts. This is my date with destiny, this is how I always envisioned my most crucial race yet will be.

As cliched as it sounds, I feel like a man possessed this past few weeks preparing for this. School seems like a blur, and no, I am not saying I blank out during lessons. It is like whatever happens in school, like school orders, politics etc, does not matter anymore. School activities outside of lessons become insignificant, and I am prepared to flout the rules with abandon. All that I have in my mind's eye is that single crucial race.

To overdramaticise, it will be the definitive point in my career as a school runner. Whatever I did before, which is not much, will not matter anymore. It will be my redemption for my mediocrity, or it could be the nail that seals my failure. Whatever the fallout, I have never felt such hunger.

I have always been a dreamer, but I hope for once, this dream will not turn into a nightmare.

Happy New Year II

2007-01-03T07:53:00.001-08:00

We did bump into a few people from school, but they were not our targets. From them though, Kenneth extricated information on the whereabouts of his classmates. Following the lead, we dove into the crowd again, hoping that pure serendipity will lead us to our quarry.

Just when we were about to set off on the hundredth time around Mount Gurney, we caught a break. As we took a breather to prep ourselves for the next sortie, Kenneth caught sight of his elusive mates. With that, our party increased though Kevin decided it was his turn to set out on his own to find his friends.

By this time, countdown time was coming. We evaded the crowds to get to the stage. Along the way, we had to traverse Uprockylands, a very bumpy strip of earth pocked with fallen tree trunks. It is understandable that people stumble and push, but I got annoyed with a man pushing a baby stroller. He kept forcing his way through hitting a few of my friends. When I was about to climb on to the pavement he kept bumping into me. I decided to tell him to be careful. I don't know what's his beef but he stared at me in an antagonistic way, so I repeated my warning again, and continued up the pavement. The guy seemed to be itching for a fight though, and grabbed my sleeve and pulled me down.

I can say this was the first time that I really got into an aggressive confrontation, and despite my knowledge of Aikido, I admit that my mind was temporarily at a blank. I did notice one thing though, that guy was alone and his stroller was even empty. On hindsight, I really find this very funny because I have a huge group of my schoolmates behind me who were a little stunned by this. Anyway, the guy berated me in an unknown language, and from his looks and semantics, I assumed he spoke in Japanese. I basically told him off and turned away. The arrogant prick displayed terrier-like qualities though and dragged my sleeve again, and kept on jabbering in his language. I generally do not have any beef with Japanese, but one thing I can not countenance is someone shouting at me in his native language expecting me to understand. This smacks of arrogance to the max. He then motioned me to take it outside. Knowing he's a tourist, I retorted with the corniest line ever, something to the tune of, 'this country has laws and police', and I told him he cannot do whatever he wants, complete with a sprinkling of an American accent. I hate to be querulous, but I am glad to say I got the last word in, shouting 'Fucking Japanese' as he turned away.

Shaken but not stirred, though I doubt he would end up the better if he did try to hit me, I went back to the small matter of ushering the new year with a few thousand other revellers. The momentous second passed by so fast, but it proved to be the start of our troubles. Despite being present at the past few countdowns I did not have the good sense to leave while I could. The next thing I knew, I was locked in a shoving match with, oh what, the very same number of people I was counting down with. Ironically, in stampedes like this it is good to be in the crush, which basically ensures you won't get ensnared in the other crush downstairs.

15 suffocating minutes later, we more or less made it out in one piece, though our group has been splintered. Thankfully Kenneth's classmates have arranged for a rendezvous point at a nearby hotel. The rest of the night, er morning, passed uneventfully, save for one last fisticuff. I don't know whether they were drunk or not, but 3 guys (or gals, I couldn't really tell) were really going at it, complete with haymakers.

Ah well, I guess all the signs point to a year full of aggro.

Happy New Year

2007-01-02T08:06:00.001-08:00

After a long hiatus, part of it enforced, it feels good to be back, soaking in radiation while cogitating whether to use 'ubiquitous' or 'common'.

Anyway, what better way to usher in the new year than to write about the very second that 2006 gave way to 2007. While it is no way as momentous as Y2K, these moments before a new year is born will linger in the memory, for a few months at least anyway. Since my memory seems to take unauthorised shut downs every now and then, blogging is probably the best way to make good on what my previous sentence predicted.

Like nearly all fun-craving youth, I am particularly attracted to any party like atmosphere. That points to one very obvious locale, Gurney Drive. Since the past few years, it has been the site of one of the biggest New Year's countdowns in Penang. It should be enough to keep me awake.

Unfortunately, for some apparent reason unknown to us mere mortals, the mobile phone services always become dodgy just when there is a hint of festivity in the air. Consequently, I had difficulty contacting any of my friends to plan for the night. Just when I have resigned myself to escorting my mum and aunts around for the night though, I got my second break. I got a text from Kenneth, and so we are set to go.

With Kenneth's bro, Kevin tagging along, we set out on the trek to El Gurney, er, Gurney Drive. I had warned them beforehand that things could get a little too 'bubbly' and raucous at bashes like this, and to my chagrin was proven more than right. Upon arriving at Mount Gurney, ooops, Gurney Plaza, we were greeted by a sea of humanity wider than what Moses had to cross.

Our hardy party knuckled down and tried to force our way through. In spite of our best efforts though, we were finally barred by a row of massive barricades wrapped with barbed and electrified wire. Taking stock of our situation, we decided that a small pass on the other side of the bohemoth was our only hope of reaching the other side.

After taking the long detour, we were greeted by the sight of ... a massive battle. Though the white of soap suds have taken the place of the red of bloodshed, we did not doubt the lethality of this skermish. Saying a final battlecry and promising to meet on the other side, we dove in. Sharp reflexes that will make Spidey proud proved to be the best defence against bloodthirsty nemeses.

We survived this battlefield a few more times the remainder of the night as we walked to and fro to kill time. As time ticked towards 2007, Kenneth decided to look for more of our schoolmates. With the huge crowd, this seemed to be worse than looking for needles in a haystack...

To be continued...

I am bored

2006-12-10T08:16:00.000-08:00

Halfway through the current school break, I have come to the not so startling conclusion, I am bored. The old adage 'the grass looks greener on the other side' certainly rings true, considering I was hankering so much for the break during the last few weeks of school that I could not focus on my final exams. Oh, I also promptly flunked a couple of subjects, which certainly put a damper on the holiday mood.

Considering that I was constantly telling myself to do badly for my finals, the realisation I sucked so bad was a bitter pill to swallow. I also have to face a realistic consequence in being sent to a so-called non-elite class. Since all the best students are all grouped into the best class, an interesting series of potentially scenarios have cropped up.

I mean, who the hell are we going to rely on when the teacher poses a question and she expects an answer, else she will detain us for whatever depraved experiments she has in store? Or where are we supposed to get answers for our homework? These questions have been posed many times during the past semester, and the answer has always been the same, a select few elites are always the problem solvers. Meanwhile, the rest of us idiots wordlessly mimic them. An apt description would be as such, one fine day, a race of malevolent aliens bent on human extermination yet are too cheap to spend too much, invades earth and takes away all the scientists, doctors and whatever geniuses we happen to have. The rest of us mediocre folks will either be panicking or just plain stupid to be aware.

I am digressing. Anyway back to being bored. My daily activities have settled into something akin to Groundhog Day. The routine is usually broken up by the odd outing where I hang out with my friends. These are the instances where I see my mates, and I can get real human interaction. Unfortunately, blogging does not put food on the table, so I have to limit my excursions.

My saving grace would be my running I guess. After all the boredom where days seem to meld together, I find that running keeps me going, pun intended. No wonder people say runners turn out to be single-minded, obsessive people.

Sky hath no fury

2006-11-29T06:30:00.000-08:00

I actually planned to take a longer break, but a force of nature like no other jarred me out from my hiatus. I am going to write about a natural phenomenon that has become increasingly common of late, thunderstorms. As if following a predetermined celestial timetable, massive rainstorms have dutifully taken the place of the previously ubiquitous haze. And like its annoying predecessor, the thunderstorms has disrupted my daily intake of outdoor sports, though it is more deadly than annoying.

Anyway, I thought I will only be affected by the presence of thunder. Well, today I stand corrected. The mere inkling that it was about to strike was enough to rob me of a session of training. Like a master conman, it has been planning its coup since early afternoon, with its usual cohorts, the clouds and rain in tow.

The plan was genius in its simplicity, for they knew the mere presence of some dark clouds will be enough to cause consternation. Jeremy was sufficiently concerned to push forward our planned training session by half an hour. As if to underline its capricious nature, the intermittent thunder gave way to blistering sunlight halfway through our workout, then came back on again to usher us out of the training ground. To future compound the illusion, the conspirators threw in some light drizzle for good measure. I was really looking forward to another long run with another group of runners, but the ominous sounds of distant thunder did what the light rain could not, so I decided to play football instead. Suffice to say, my projected half hour of football was extended to one and a half hours by the distinct lack of rain and lightning.

On another remotely related note, the people who set our MUET listening component questions got it spot on. Turns out that the info we got from that pompous voice might come in handy in these thunderous times after all.

Ex-ecution-am

2006-11-12T04:03:00.000-08:00

Looking through the blogs of my schoolmates, the flavour of the month seems to be our year-end exams. Some devote half a dozen posts to describe all aspects of it. And I admit, I sure am amazed, I never knew there are so many angles from which to write about an exam.

I am probably late to get on the bandwagon, since my exams are more than halfway through, but this is my first exam post of the season. There was simply so avoiding this, the carnage was too brutal to ignore. Even MUET, which was the only exam of consequence since it is the actual one, was unkind to me.

I know how everyone seems to say they feel like throwing their exams, but this time I really did not have any high hopes. I doubt my mind was on school anyway. You cannot really blame me though, since seven weeks of freedom lies just beyond. Nevertheless, I guess that the school authorities are determined to make us suffer for this, as evidenced by the merciless papers.

To kick things off, we have the written part of PA(Patriotic Assholism). This is arguably the dumbest subject of all time. It basically consists of government propaganda, graph-drawing, and some essay writing. I mean who the fuck draws graphs by hand now anyway? Haven't the education administrators heard of Excel? Powerpoint? ANyway, we had 3 hours to do the stupid stuff. Normally 3 hours would mean a world of hurt for the derriere, but for once I was hankering for more time. I guess this only highlights the utilitarian nature of this subject, since the reason I could not finish was that the figures for the graph took so much time to tally and decipher. In the end, I only finished 4 out of 6 questions, with the graph uncompleted and the analytical essay untouched.

As expected, I fared no better the next day, since it was Physics and scientific subjects are the real killers. Even though I stayed up until 2 to study and had a sudden attack of kiasuness just before the exam, I felt strangely inured. Of course this did not make the Form 4 idiots' impression of a zoo any easier to take. My head already hurting from the lack of sleep, I felt like someone took a jackhammer to it. And since I had a proper excuse this time, I did not even bother to answer all the questions. No, I am not using my headache as the excuse. My teacher actually told us that it is ok not to finished all the questions since there was not enough time, way BEFORE the exam. Oh well.

Chemistry has basically been a tough subject for me, and it isn't about to change anytime soon. I also felt oddly numb and just took it as it is. And yet again, the zoo downstairs are in full force. This batch really is the dumbest, loudest batch of all. Aside from that I have no complaints really, my expectations are that low. My biggest concern this day was coming back to an empty house, since my family are on their way to enjoying a wedding banquet, sheesh.

After spending the night at my aunt's place, I woke up at the crack of dawn, ready to face the MUET exam. Okok, it was more like 7 and I was anything but ready, suffering from the lack of sleep of the past 3 days. The first paper was relatively easy, I even had time to actually sleep for an hour or so. This is a record of sorts since I was never actually able to really sleep in school before. The next paper was essay writing, usually my forte. I do not know where some celestial bodies in some faraway galaxy collided or what, but the topic could not have been worse. Of all the things, I was required to write about some cold dissertation on why ...... Argghhh! Even thinking about it makes my mind numb, so you can imagine the creativity draining out of me at that moment. It is potentially the worse I have ever written, it was that bad. Coming into this, I was under pressure to get a Band 6 since I had to sacrifice an important family commitment, but looks like it was a meaningless sacrifice after all. The last paper was a ho-hum listening affair, nothing dramatic, partly due to its short duration.

Sitting here now, with Maths and the objective part of PA left, I feel remarkably tranquil even though I am clueless about half the Math chapters. Sheesh, my standards really have dropped.

The sky is dark again

2006-11-05T07:15:00.000-08:00

I suppose it is the rainy season again, or not. Either way, I do not really know anymore, since the Malaysian weather has become so much more fickle compared to, say, just 10 years ago when I was just a kid. Anyway, my feelings parallel this a lot, so much in fact that it is creepy.

Remember a spell when my posts were kind of down, follow by a spate of cheery stuff? They reflect somewhat on my feelings at that time. Unfortunately, another series of unpleasant things have cropped up. And at a very good timing too, smack just before my finals, damn.

My mood for the next few days would have been killed anyway, since the rest of my family will be busy stuffing themselves silly next weekend at my cousin's wedding, while I content myself with inane MUET papers. For the greedy pig in me, things could not have been worse, but like all cliches, they inevitably did. My favourite martial art will undergo another impending upheaval. I have been quite lucky with all the disturbances in my club, since the last major and course changing one happened 2 years ago. Since then there have been only minor niggles, and things usually went back to normal after a while. My gut however, tells me that this will be potentially annoying.

To make things worse, it always has to have a double whammy soon after, sorta like a tsunami and its afterwaves you know. And yet again, this has got something to do with the fairer sex. This time, I have a forbidding sense that she really is out of reach, or at least the relationship would be frowned on if it were to happen. The differences should not be that big to most of you, but surprisingly this time, age seems to be an issue to me.

Oh well, for my previous down times, blog therapy seems to help, but for now I am still feeling the sting.

Teaching teachers

2006-10-29T07:43:00.000-08:00

We all hear horror stories about impossibly inept trainee teachers or freshly minted ones, and we might even laugh at their incompetence. Every now and then, we will even personally encounter one, and we will haughtily correct their every mistake, all the while shrinking their already miniscule confidence. Like it or not, noob teachers are as much a part of the school environment as stinky toilets.

Deep down inside, I have always thought that these 'teachers' must have sucked really bad in whatever course they happen to be majoring at in whatever overhyped local university, only to assure myself that they could not suck that much. After all, they did get into university right? Wrong. Today there was an interesting piece on Bachelor of Education (B. Ed) graduates in one of our local newspapers. And boy, was it enlightening. I was not that interested in the whole article itself, but for one minor fact. One of the recent graduates interviewed had a CGPA of 2.64. 2.64, dammit! That's like an average of C! For God's sake, can't she do better than that? And the bigwigs in their fat armchairs expect us to learn from teachers who cannot even hold their own.

For some reason I doubt that this is an isolated case. In fact, I personally feel 2.64 is pretty generous for that undergrad and does not reflect her average capabilities. I do not mean to be racially biased, but my gut tells me that she got a 4.0 or 3.xx in her Islamic Civilisation subject to pull up her grades. Not that there's anything wrong with that, if she wants to teach that subject that is.

Well, this is what we get for training teachers like an assembly line. Not that there's anything wrong with that too, but another gut feeling tells me that the raw material sent in does not exactly conform to SIRIM standards.

Reason to sue

2006-10-25T06:30:00.000-07:00

While still in a hazy stupor after my afternoon nap today, I had a thought provoking vision. We all hear about smokers with lung disease who sue tobacco companies for massive amounts of money when they themselves made the choice to smoke. All this smacks of irresponsibility and passing the buck, traits which I associate with smokers. Because of their despicable habit and this, most of them disgust me. So, what would happen if the tables were turned?

Since most smokers (in Malaysia at least) light up regardless of location nor occasion, non-smokers are often exposed to their toxic fumes. Obviously, these toxic fumes have an effect on them too, creating sickness, and thus forcing the afflicted to pay needless medical fees to get well. It's not like smokers do not do it on purpose too. Because most of them arrogantly ignore what ever pleas to refrain from smoking, it can be said that they are purposely bringing harm to people. I mean, when you beat someone up and send them into hospital, you are forced to pay their medical fees right? The same goes for this, and smokers should pay for the damage they cause, perhaps they should pay even more, for the damage is internal and the are such irresponsible retards.

Having said all that, all we need is a good lawyer and someone to be made an example of, and presto, we have a better smoking deterrent that the lame ass 'Tak Nak'! campaign.

Blooded

2006-10-11T09:08:00.000-07:00

Having had my blood sucked dry figuratively all my life by the costs of living, I finally got the taste of having it done literally today. Of course not until I am bone dry, so rest assured, this blogger ain't going nowhere for now.

My dad has been a life-long blood donor, up until very recently, when they told him he was overaged. Nevertheless, he has always encouraged me to do the same. My response every time has been the same, ' See first-lah'. I am not one to go out of my way to do something, unless it has anything to do with girls of course, and this was no different. But things have a way of dropping into your lap, and the news that my school's Sixth Form Society is having a blood donation drive made the choice for me. I did not have to go out of my way to donate blood, in fact I would have to go out of my way to NOT donate, as some of my friends are inclined to do.

Anyway, since I am still not legally 18, I had to get authorisation from my old folks, nevermind the fact that 'legality' was just 3 days away. Old pops was more than happy to let me spill my blood, though Mum as usual had her reservations, but allowed me to do as I wish anyway. Seeing as the campaign was big news if not a big deal to us Sixth Formers, it was certainly a hot topic for discussion. Some of my classmates dredged up old horror stories about the ineptitude of the nurses, usually involving the relative of a neighbour of a long lost friend's father, or something like that. Most of them have a grain of truth in them though, and I was a little apprehensive.

Regardless, when the day came, I was up for it, nevermind my heart that was threatening to show off how much it can dish out a beating nor the legs that were making a better impression of jelly with each step to the blood donating area. I had counted on the companionship of a few classmates to shore up my courage, but it turns out that only less than a dozen were up for it. Oh well, I guess it's true when they say that courage comes from within.

When I got there, there were loads of students already milling about. To be blunt, it was a mess. Most of them were there to just soak in the atmosphere, or perhaps Count Dracula was a distant ancestor. In my opinion, they also had too many redundant people on duty. Most of them don't seem to know anything whenever I had a query. In a nutshell, they served to choke up the place.

After wasting about half an hour trying to figure out where to get started, I finally located the correct line, while munching curry puffs and muffins. Ah, the food, glorious food. The food line was limited to muffins and curry puffs, but at least it was all you can eat, and that was enough for someone who's about to lose a pint of his blood. Who knows, I might not make it, and I would want to have a last meal, even if it consists of curry puffs and muffins.

The line might seem long at first, but the next thing I know, I was already in the adjacent room staring at a senior gushing out blood into a bag. Whoosh, and there was an empty cot. This was the moment of truth, but then I already know the ending, for Peter will always go through with his actions. I strode past the a few other prospective donors who were still 'discussing' whether to take this opening. The cot was hard, and I made a tactical error in selecting a cot facing directly the doorway, with the sun in my eyes, but other than that I was ready to roll.

The guy stabbing me was quite young, looked to be in his 30s, and the moment before the needle poked, all the horror stories came flooding back. Ok I just made that up, it was not so dramatic. Actually, I was bantering with the next few people in line, all bravado and bluster. Owing to my location, I was probably the only one there to be able to convey my (feigned) pain. The jab itself was not that painful. In fact, getting stabbed by a spring-loaded lancet moments earlier to determine my blood type hurt more, so much more that I was thinking about the prick more than the big needle in my arm. I would say then that this process was the most painful. Hours later, I would be proven wrong when ripping off my plaster though.

I felt fine even though I am 1 pint lighter and wasted no time in pigging out at the food table. Munching on yet another piece of curry puff, I came to the conclusion that blood donation ain't that bad at all.

Public Service Announcement: Please Donate Blood.

A new "power"

2006-10-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

Today, the world woke up to the news that the world's most exclusive (and dangerous) club has a new member. It is certainly joyous news, and I would like to extend my heartiest congratulations to the brilliant North Korean scientists and spies who made this happen.

Big ups should also go to the esteemed leader Kim for having the foresight and gumption to go through with this in spite of threats of sanction and war and wholesale condemnation by mankind. By doing what he did, he has certainly shown that he trancends mankind and godhood and demonhood and whatever hoods (including the ones on a car), and rightly deserves the blind adulation wrought upon him by his countryman. Even before this defining moment, he has shown more than enough greatness by gaining such respect even by starving his people.

Another big plus from this nuclear test is the fact that Mr. Kim's status as an international leader has been elevated. He can now claim equal footing with George W. Bush as a leader of a nuclear nation, and the rivalry can now begin properly. Now that they are rivals, we the little people can get some real entertainment, for it looks like it will go a long way. They might even possibly be still at it when both make their way down to their huge specially reserved penthouse in hell. Please do keep in mind though, they will be in hell only because their godlike qualities will make heaven or purgatory too comfortable for their liking, macho men that they are.

POSSIBLE MUET ORAL QUESTIONS HERE!!!

2006-10-06T08:38:00.000-07:00

I have a select list of possible questions for the oral component of the MUET exam in my hands --- not. Alright, that title was just an experiment to test the effectiveness of adding '!!!' to the end of a blog title to attract readers. Ok ok, I admit it was also a cheap way to draw in some of the decidedly edgy sixth formers who are about to sit for said test.

SInce we are on the topic of the oral test, I might as well dissect the awesome fear most of my schoolmates have for it. In all respects, it is a simple test, heck this part expends the least energy and takes up the least time but for the listening component. Coming from a school with students who can never seem to keep their mouths shut, I would expect most of my schoolmates to wing it at least. Not so apparently, for the moment someone so much as whispers 'MUET oral test', the whole class clams up like a captured Cold War spy, broken of course by the occasional shiver and whimper.

Normally intelligent and articulate students are automatically reduced to mumbling, incomprehensible puppies when they are simulating the test. Throughout the ordeal, you can actually see cold sweat forming on their foreheads, their fingers twitching, their eyes casting longing looks towards the imagined door of freedom. As an observer, you cannot help but feel for them. Their are being made to go through what is akin to mental torture, and I am not surprised if any of them actually breaks into tears upon completing the damned test.

Obviously, being a motormouth is not enough for you to do well, you need to have substance as well. Having helped some of my friends with their tests, I can see that they have made many points most of the time, perhaps too many. Even during practice, they feel nervous, and when the nerves set in, the clutter of so many differing points trigger a block in the mind and they spit out their points in an incoherant heap. And I am talking about some of the more capable candidates, what about the less confident ones then? Well, it is as if they are not taking the test at all, literally, for they do not say anything that will help their cause.

Having seen the fear factor the oral test inspires in my fellow candidates, I am tempted to ask whether this test is being conducted in the right way. I feel it is to rigid, with too much riding on it. I myself like to take a relaxed approach, trying to make it a tad casual, only to get a mild reprimand to 'not make it too general'. But how the hell am I to make it all detailed and specific in two minutes? How many real life talks and explanations are done and dusted in two minutes or conversations in ten? In the real world, two minutes is only good enough for saying 'hi, ermmm how's the weather lately?', which is exactly what a lot of the candidates do. I can tell you that, a REAL conversation takes more than words, it needs a certain 'feel' and human instinct, things which are inborn in all humans. The idealised 'conversations' and stating of 'opinions' which make up this test are but bastardised simulations of these elements. Pirated in the true Malaysian tradition.

Malaysian commentators revisited

2006-09-28T09:09:00.000-07:00

Woo hoo, after the hangover from World Cup 2006, Champions League season is finally here. I look forward to this competition mainly because it is the only major football being shown on terrestrial TV, yeah I am a poor bastard for not having Astro, I know.

Unfortunately, I missed the last round of matches because they were only shown on 8TV and TV9 instead of the usual TV3, and yeah, I am an even poorer bastard for not having these 2 channels too. Anyhow, the dimwits finally realised the folly of their ways and rectified this travesty. Naturally, I took this opportunity to satiate my thirst for live top level football (Malaysian footie doesn't count), waking up bleary-eyed at 3 am.

In my sleep deprived state, I immediately sensed that something was different. The voice commentating seemed to possess a fake foreign accent and it was not as clear as usual. Then it hit me, instead of the usual 'ang moh' commentators, who were always funny and gave interesting comments if nothing else, they used their own 'Malaysia Boleh' el cheapo pundit, who was neither insightful nor interesting. In fact, he was a total bore, the steady monotone being a veritable cure for insomnia, not that I needed one at that moment. It seems like they just selected someone who can make out the which players are which on a TV screen and just because he can adopt a fake accent.

Commentators are useful whenever a match gets boring, which coincidentally happened to the one I was viewing, giving obscure trivia at lulls in the game. Our local hero though, gave out something like 2 bits of trivia, I was not sure because he could not be heard at times over the din of the crowd. Well, even if he was not a fact maniac, he could at least know his football right? Wrong, as it turns out, as he gave the wrong call at least twice.

As a viewer, there are three things I look for in TV pundits, passion, humour and knowledge. Looks like our local commentators can only get two out of three at most.

10 reasons why Malaysia will never be a sporting power (final 4 reasons)

2006-09-26T01:45:00.000-07:00

Here's the rest of my post:

7) Our sports selectors are good... at selecting failures:

Time and again our athletes fail to produce the goods when it matters, on the world stage, even though they claim 'to be in their best phase of training'. Well, as an outsider, I cannot comment on the veracity of such statements, but there are certain groups of people who can, the national team selectors. One would assume these selectors constantly have a finger on the pulse as far as athletes' training is concerned, but why they repeatedly send the same duds to get themselves humiliated escapes me. I say, it is time to give some of our bona fide 'jaguh kampung' from our bona fide 'kampungs' a chance. After all, however badly they perform, they cannot do worse than what our 'elite' athletes are producing.

8) Our talent scouts idolise Big Foot:
In a country of 24 million, there are bound to be some world class sportsmen. Hell, the Czech Republic has 10 million citizens, yet they can scrape together not 1 but at least 22 truly world class athletes to compete in serious competitions like the World Cup. Meanwhile, our selectors struggle to string together a side that can challenge for a small mug like the Tiger Cup. Selectors shoulder the blame, to a certain extent, because you got to admit that you do not have much choice when your options are limited to some David Beckham wannabes with the hair and boots but not the skills. To discover the other guilty party, we must go down nearer to the grassroots. World champions do not just drop out of the sky like Superman, they must be unearthed and nurtured. And where can we find these raw gems but in the schools and fields? Unfortunately, we drew the short end of the straw by having talent scouts who do not like to do field work. How many times have we heard of sporting gods being discovered playing or running barefoot in his neighborhood field? But how many times has this happened in Malaysia with good talent, nevermind the geniuses? Forget Big Foot, these scouts are so elusive that you can only see them at some big inter-school competition. And what is the point when most of the kids there that shine have some form of training anyway. Looks like our 'raw' talent are actually only considered 'rare', huh? (bonus marks for those who catch the pun) Suggestion: Fire our current scouts and use the money to set up a hotline ala 'Rakan Cop' for the public who catch sight of a potential Zidane or Ronaldo.

9) Sporting talent seems to be connected with skin colour:
Our small talent pool is dried up even further because certain sports seem to be enjoyed by a single race, thus possibly eliminating a future Yao Ming just because he is too tanned. Personally, I am perplexed by the lack of Chinese in distance running, simply because of the misconception that Indians and Malays are 'better' at it. More often than not, this type of pigeonholing can only happen in Malaysia though, as the last time I checked, the distance running records of the far eastern countries (China, Japan, Korea) are still better than India's. There are other examples to support that races and skin tone has nothing to do with aptitude in a certain sport, such as the captain of the national basketball team being Indian, and one of the top national table-tennis players being Malay.

10) Sport is rather low on the agenda..., riiiiight after washing the toilet and doing the dishes:
You know, for all the talk of discovering talent, nurturing them, building cutting edge facilities, then selecting the best ones for competition, what happens when there are no talents to be discovered? I mean, fewer and fewer kids do sport just because of sport, they usually do it just to get something in return, like some declaration on a cert just so they can get into university. Consequently, kids who do this will always see sport as a chore, an afterthought, and these kids form the majority. A lot of them loathe the idea of getting soaked in sweat and grime that they willingly forgo they endorphine high accompanying said sweat and grime. I wager that most of them would rather clean the loo and do dishes than run a couple of laps around the field. Magic solution: make our loos waaaaaay bigger, as in big enough to fit godzilla, and substitute plates with 10 kg dumbell weights, then at least sport will get bumped up a notch or two.

10 reasons why Malaysian will never be a sporting power (first 6 reasons)

2006-09-25T09:41:00.000-07:00

In the aftermath of the spectacular underachievement of our national badminton team in the recently concluded world championships, I have decided to sit down and ponder about our beloved nation's overall mediocrity in sport. And I have come to the conclusion that barring a miracle on the scale of Jesus walking on water, we will continue to be stuck in this rut. Here are 10 reasons why:

(The list is in no particular order of importance by the way)
1) Our road and transport system sucks:
Huh? What the hell does the road and transport system have to do with this? Loads, I tell you. In fact, I would stake a hell lot that this is the main reason. Since it is so screwed up, our future world beating, butt kicking stars spend most of their time stuck in transit, no thanks to our world famous traffic jams. And they cannot walk to training either, because someone has not been maintaining our roads well enough. You cannot train well with an ankle screwed up from stepping into too many potholes right? Running or walking to training is also impractical unless you have a fetish for smog, which brings us to the next thing on my list;

2) Our roads, trails, halls, fields... hell anywhere is so chockful of air pollution:
This is THE main complaint for me. A budding athlete might lack monetary support, parental blessing, training aids..., you name it, but one thing he will not lack, regardless of his status, is air pollution. Wherever a budding athlete may turn, he will always be confronted with the familiar choking sensation of smoke, from the car produced goodness on the road to the cigarette inspired dizziness at his training hall. Personally as a runner, I am very incensed by the sheer number of cars on the road, and most of them with only a single haughty driver in them. Have you people not get the hint yet? Rising petrol prices means you do not drive your car if you can help it, stupid. This reason is only applicable if there are training sites to run to or get choked in though;

3) Dude, I lost my training hall/field/running trail!:
Another day, another field lost. To what or into what, you ask. Now this is where it gets creative, at various instances, my neighborhood field has donned the guises of cattle grazing ground, driving range, picnic site for some company function. It is still OK though, compared to what some other fields have become, low cost housing areas, shopping malls, dumpsites, meeting area for randy youths, breeding site for snakes et cetera. Fields are not the only nurseries for sporting talent that are lacking, some running and hiking trails have been annexed by entrepreneuring traders who have taken to doing business along these trails. Well, if anything positive has gone out from all these, it is that we Malaysians have a flair for adapting unsuitable locales to serve our own ends. I have a suggestion to rectify this though, clear a field, then label it a carnival ground, I guarantee that the only use it will get is as a football field. Sorta like the 'Polo Ground' we have now, except that it is a football ground.

4) The 'Waitaminute, you mean I actually have to stand upright to do this?' attitude rules:
I know we live in the cyber age where we can do nearly anything and everything virtually. Unfortunately, sport is not one of them, and I do not consider retarded cybersport as actual sport, just brilliant marketing. Obviously, the adage 'practice makes perfect' especially rings true for sport, where our future Tigers and Rogers must actually put in the time and dedication for their chosen sport. Too bad though, that our young actually get to experience what these two sporting gods go through a little to closely and a little too much, via computer games bearing their name.

5) Our politicians waste too much money debating inane issues instead of developing sport:
Recently, many newspapers have brought up the issue of setting up a forward base for sports in England. Of course, it also highlighted the typically differing views expressed by different YBs, and the arguments which followed. Most of the debates happened in Parliament, which is the correct outlet. But the funny thing is that this supposedly more learned folk took such a long time to decide on it. I mean, come on, go ask the man on the street for his opinion, and he will give a reply within 5 seconds, and 9 times out of 10 it will probably be the same. Yet, our MPs wasted so much saliva and taxpayers' funds talking about an obviously impractical suggestion, funds which can be utilised to fund our sporting pursuits. Suggestion: Cut the crap, even though you like it.

6) Our stadiums are too new and sparkling:
Yup, you heard me, they are too new. Not because the RM900 per month groundman works hard at maintaining our sporting facilities, but because they hardly get used. The administrators seem intent on making sure that their stadiums get as little use as possible. There is a nice stadium nearby with a great tartan track. Sadly, the track barely gets used once a month, simply because it is not open to the public. Even the state track team does not get to use the track except in the run-up to a big competition, having to settle for a grass track at one of the nearby schools. It is not like the track will be ruined from getting too much use, nor does it require detailed maintenance, unlike the cinder tracks of old. Perhaps they are afraid that we will steal some of the fixtures there, since the steeplechase barriers are so easily portable and all, and the market price for small bits of rubber track is rising. Riiiight.

Ok, that is all for today. But before you crucify me for not being able to count, this is just the first part, the following 4 reasons will be up tomorrow.

Memories buried and unearthed

2006-09-19T07:56:00.000-07:00

Everyone has skeletons in their closets. As for me, I prefer to tuck these skeletons as far in as possible. Ever since I was a primary school student, I have been conciously trying to forget about the past, forget whatever memories I have acrued. I am literally someone who just lets the past slide, which might seem like a rather carefree way to live life.

Unfortunately, I do so because of the wrong reason, I just want to forget whatever unpleasantness I am feeling. Notice that I mentioned that I have been like this since primary school, which coincided with a very angsty phase of my life, where I was ostracised by my (mostly female) schoolmates. Suffice to say, life was not very pleasant when people keep picking on your weaknesses or being nasty to you.

What started as a defense mechanism evolved into something else as time went by, I casually forget for the past few years simply because it is easier to do so than to remember. A fountain of youth for the mind if you like, since I feel that memories 'age' someone in mind and soul. Consequently, I am now not good with names or faces.

Even though my early childhood happened way before any of this, it was also retroactively affected. I found that out during my psyche test some time ago, when the teacher-counsellor asked whether I remember anything from my childhood that might have triggered a blank. To my slight surprise, I drew a blank, a total blank. The real surprise was that deep down inside, my emotions were just as blank about this.

In spite of my efforts, my memories do not stay buried forever though. Sometimes when I do something, a certain memory is triggered. It does not even have to be something special, even a routine walk might dredge up something from my sea of memories. Same goes for the memory too, it can just be something normal and boring I did when I was a child. These memories that occasionally resurface are also just as quickly forgotten. But like teachers from another age, they never fail to offer some insight into what I have been, and guidance about what I should do. Things that I did without a second thought when I was really young suddenly seemed so childish and pointless.

Having typed all that, I still feel like a mere observer in my life. Pointless huh?

An ant's tale

2006-09-17T08:51:00.000-07:00

The magnificent creature was going about its domain, staking its territory lest another one of its species start having illusions of grandeur. In its own corner, it is king, its power unchallenged its sovereignity unchallenged. But for those foolish enough to do so, a clamp of its menacing mandibles ensure a most unpleasant disembowelling.

As per routine, it went about its usual itinerary, along a worn jungle trekking trail. It was both daring and foolhardy on the creatures part. The Trail was a notoriously dangerous highway for its kind and other denizens of the jungle, with millions perishing on it. This highway was traversed by dozens of even bigger creatures every day, bipeds who have a tendency to squash hapless slackers, intentionally and unintentionally. These bipeds do not factor into the natural order of the jungle, making it extremely risky to encounter them, but the lordling did not mind. It was a way of exuding confidence and showing its dominance, and the bipeds do drop sumptious morsels every now and then. Nevertheless it did not hurt to be cautious.

Today was very quiet though, with relatively few bipeds passing through. The creature decided to come out from under the safety of the foliage to catch a whift of the morning breeze. After all, what use is a fief if you cannot even walk proudly in it. Its antennae felt a little vibration in the air, something which did not entirely correspond with what is natural, however barely any biped passed through this way since this morning, so the creature decided to disregard the instinct to run. The instinct proved to be correct though, as a few gigantic shadows materialised out of nowhere and crowded around. Frantic, the creature dashed for the safety of the trees, to no avail. It knew it was sighted, and worse, it was targeted. The creature was very fast for its kind, but still definitely no match for the bipeds. A single stride from them would cover any gulf that would take the creature minutes to cross. It was trapped.

The bipeds came at it with a vengeance. They used a transparent portable prison to try to ensnare it, really methodical these bipeds, using the prison itself to catch it. They have definitely killed before. The creature evaded the first run, narrowly ducking the cage and darting between the legs of its persecutors. It was overmatched, but it was going to make a fight out of this yet. The bipeds reacted quickly, blocking its escape with a wall made of material similar to the prison's. The wall moved quickly and slammed into the creature, knocking it into the prison. Although dazed, its will to survived drove it to run, anywhere would do. Its efforts were rewarded when its feet touched the damp ground of the trail. Never had it been more grateful for the touch of the ground, but from its brief brush with the prison, its fears were confirmed, they are killers, the deathly stench of their previous victim, a distant kin, was still hanging inside.

On and on, both hunter and hunted kept up the game of wits, both unyielding. For the hunters, this was another trophy for the collection; for the hunted, this was for its life. Having continuously thwarted the bipeds' attempts, the creature thought that it would win this battle when the hunters eased up. To its chagrin, this was just the lull before the storm. Frustrated, a biped decided to abandon the refined approach, and proceed to just drop the prison on top of the creature. Game over. Putting on the cover took some creative manipulation, but it only delayed the inevitable, there will be no rescue party to take advantage of the stall.

The whole prison was inserted into a dark cavern-like structure worn on the back of one of the bipeds. There was another bigger prison of similar make in it, containing another one of its species. This one was very much smaller though, just a youth in comparison. Understandably, the young one was also agitated, constantly running around its enclosure, probing for an escape outlet. But the newly deposed lord knew it was futile though, the prisons are impenetrable, even by its own deadly mandibles. The young one, will probably die of exhaustion soon, running itself to death. Resigned to its fate, the lordling resolved to face death with dignity.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

At least, this is how I imagine the giant ant I caught this morning would see it. As of now, its smaller counterpart had its death throes hours ago. The big one is getting agitated itself, and it is beginning to show the signs exhibited by its departed kin. I have tried feeding it, with bread, water and even sugar, but it is not eating. It is running around madly, but not at the intensity of the other two ants, perhaps this will allow it to last until tomorrow morning, when Shy Yan or Ju Ping will preserve it.

I am worried that the ant will die, but for all the wrong reasons I feel. I want to make sure my efforts were not for naught. Having spent the morning trekking through the hills around the Botanical Gardens (mostly alone), and having some harrowing moments with the terrain, I want to at least have something to show for it, even if it is an ant. And now in all likelihood, even that hardy ant might not survive. Even as I type, I hear the desperate escape efforts of the ant, a rhythmic 'tap-tap-tap', the sound of it clinging on to the cover of the plastic container and then falling, again and again.

I am a sucky driver

2006-09-12T07:55:00.000-07:00

Today, I had my first real drive since passing my driving test. And boy did it open my eyes.

I present to you some raw statistics, since numbers seem to reach out to people better. Please do bear in mind that these are from what I can recall. For starters, I nearly ran into two cars, and nearly missed two turnings. I also carried on where I left off from my driving test, stalling my car at least 5 times, once on an upward slope, which illicited a feeling of deja vu when I had to reenact the 'naik bukit' test to get it going again. Another time I had the misfortune of stalling just in front of an SUV, whose driver chose to exasperate matters by honking. As if some noise would magically restart my engine.

From my own noobness, I now know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of abuse and honking. That is to be expected though, since I am actually driving the car. On the other hand, I somehow manage to pity my dad, who was my designated escort since mum did not even let me make it out of the car park before chickening out. He must have some supernatural power, since there is no way a human could actually stay so calm and maintain his sangfroid after the danger I put him through! He did not even flinch, even when I was mere inches from colliding with another car on his side, or when I drove through a junction even when another, (bigger) car was speeding in from the left, another close shave.

Of course, all my misfortune must be taken into context. For all the potential accidents I may have caused, I still did not actually get into one, which is not something I can say for friends like Ju Ping, who went 'drifting' with his dad in tow, dancing at Death's door, or Rong who crashed into a pole and incurred the wrath of her parents not to mention a RM 1900 repair bill.

At the end of the day, I still managed to walk away from my car in one piece, along with my passenger. Certainly it is something to be thankful for, thankful enough for a silent prayer to God for keeping me safe when I am not.

Stillness of the night

2006-09-06T06:46:00.000-07:00

I don't know why, but I have always had an affinity with the night, or to be more exact, the wee hours of morning. It might be the quiet, or the loneliness that comes with having the rest of your household in dreamland, but whatever it is, it has always been my most productive chunk of time. In this stillness, I won't be interrupted by my dad's nagging, my mum's constant queries, my siblings rambunctious pranks. With this solitude, my ideas are allowed to form and evolve. Even now, in this undecidedly non-early morning surroudings, ironically writing about this special twilight zone, my thoughts are constantly being intruded upon by my sister plotting on the phone. Yes, very ironic indeed.

Another sobering day

2006-09-05T09:00:00.000-07:00

Steve Irwin is dead. Even though I am not as fanatical about the environment as Ju Ping, nor do I have as much access to Astro, I have grown up with his shows. Even now, more than 24 hours after he died, I still could not believe it happened. So what now? There is the very obvious reality that there will never be another 'Crocodile Hunter' show, in its current form at least. While there might be other environmental shows, 'Croc Hunter' had a certain charm that appealed to me as a youngster. Oh well, our time might come any time, so no sense in trying to avoid it. In that sense, I will always admire him, dying while doing what he loves best. I hope I will have the luxury of that one day.

RIP Steve Irwin.

I am a sucky writer

2006-09-01T09:45:00.000-07:00

I suck. Well, not really, not even in my deepest doldrums will I ever admit that I suck. But according to a 'reputable' and 'authoritative' person, I do, at writing no less. That's right, my MUET (that's English to those that do not have to take this moronic exam) teacher gave me a Band 3 (out of 6) for an essay. Granted, I didn't really put 100% into this bastard child of an essay, but I didn't think I deserve to be labled 'modest user, fairly fluent, usually appropriate but with noticeable inaccuracies' and 'able to understand but with some misinterpretation' and 'able to function but with some effort' either.

Anyway, here's the offending piece.

Nowadays, the job market has become increasingly competitive. Paper qualifications just could not meet the tough demands of picky employers. Young people need to equip themselves with soft skills to make themselves marketable. Unfortunately, in our structured education system, these skills are precisely what is lacking. Therefore, I suggest that both parents and schoolstake a more proactive role in developing them.

Time is a very precious commodity. In spite of this, youths have a tendency to mismanage it. Perhaps they are not disciplined enough, but the structured school life should be sufficient to rectify this, with a few more adjustments of course. Structured should not mean boring, fun can be injected every now and then, to ensure students do not resent the system. If this discipline is cultivated from young, it will become an integral part of the lifestyle of our youth. Hopefully, they will transfer their time management skills to other aspects of life.

One of the chief grouses of interviewers is that our youth fail to communicate effectively, though they might be intelligent and qualified. I would attribute it to the cyber age that we live in. People are more inclined to use electronic tools to do their "talking" for them, to the extent that it is not uncommon to find youth with "best friends" they have not met in person. While it is easy to say something when you have the confort of your computer or cellphone to hide behind, it is an entirely different proposition when it comes to face to face communication. Confident Lotharios on the internet might turn out to be stuttering, awkward mice in person. How do you expect this person to present himself well to a future boss then? For starters, parents can make their child more sociable by actively encouraging him to go out and interact more. They can also impose limits on computer and cell phone use. CHildren are naturally shy, but if given encouragement, they will move out of their shell. As time goes by, the children will build meaningful friendships, and learn to manage them well.

For all the talk about the importance of good minds and engaging personalities, they will come to nought if you are too sick to use them. All the same, employers will also be less inclined to employ someone if they feel he will have too many sick days. In their paper chase, young people often push healthy living to the bottom of the agenda. This is also exacerbated by distractions like television and computers. It is a curable problem though, with both schools and parents capable of supplying the antidote. School authorities can give exrcise a more central role, instead of obsessing about paper grades. I am sure a period or two of the more mundane subjects like History and Moral Education can be sacrificed to make way for morning exercise. The students probably will not mind too, since they will be nodding off anyway. School is one thing, but students spend a lot of time at home too. To take advantage of this, parents can constantly impress on them the importance of healthy living. Parents can start by cutting back on the oil and salt when they cook and exercise instead of watching television with thier offspring. Sure, all this might not make them popular with thier children at first, but subconciously it will be drummed into them. By laying down the foundations, our young people stand a chance to make a difference.

Soft skills might be underrated, but it is definitely time for us to focus on them. Stoic efficiency is just not enough, especially since our current economy is shifting more and more towards knowledge based services.

There, this is the offending piece. I admit I strayed a bit from the main subject which included giving reasons. But the teacher derided this essay as being 'narrative', bastard child of an essay this may be, but it is still my child. And to add insult to injury, she casually mentioned that we(the students) are too used to writing 'narrative essays'. Well, if anything narrative essays are the way to go, lest we want to bored our audiende to sleep. Heck, what I learned here through trial and error, will always be infinitely better than what she can teach in the classroom.

Before I end, I feel obliged to leave a line about Ju Ping, who also fell victim to the POC(prudish old crone, in his own words). He had it worse that I did, if anything, he got a 'low band 3' and before that, he was roundly screwed in the recent MUET test.

Random artsy-fartsy post

2006-08-25T23:17:00.000-07:00

I will be the first to admit that I am not the most creative of writers. Indeed, I do not think I am particularly creative in any field at all. To sum it up, I do not create, rather I modify. But every now and then, I get one of those brain farts that result in some really weird writing. Here is one good example of a weird poem:

Alan Tea

I know a dog named Alan Tea,
Who's small, cute and oh so funny,
He's quiet and loathes to bark,
But the last thing you should do is to take him for a lark.

As dogs go he's atypical,
Probably because he's not as cynical,
He romps about with nary a moan or whine,
The games he plays show curiosity's sign.

Very carefree and joyful he sure is,
Though he can be serious and no duty does he miss,
He roams and prowls every now and then,
Always on the lookout for suspicious men.

Now, he might look placid and peaceful,
He might like to sleep and drool,
But anyhow he likes to be,
He's still our very own Alan Tea.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

This one was partly inspired by a real dog, and I had a lot of time, so why not?

Bug central 2

2006-08-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

*continued from previous post*

The meal was simple but adequate. Having sated our hunger, it was time to go. The plan was for Ju Ping to drop us off at the town bus terminal and we would get a bus to Komtar. I have to mention that this is our first time taking a bus from such an 'ulu' place. It looked simple enough when we first reached the terminal, there was only one bus that looked like it was going somewhere. Looks could be deceiving though, as we were about to find out.

To start with, the bus did not have anyone on it, and we were the first ones to board it. Having barely settled ourselves, I caught sight of an incoming bus. That was when a sudden 'kiasuness' came over me, and I quickly alighted from our bus and rushed over to the other one ala Amazing Race. Startled, my companions followed suit. Embarassingly for us, and especially me, for I was the instigator, the bus turned out to be incoming, and we were actually on the correct bus.

We rolled into the terminal, and got onto the correct bus for the second time, all the while accompanied by the sound of Shy Yan laughing her head off. Nothing more embarassing than making a mistake and having someone rub it in by laughing very hard at you. And what was my reaction? I laughed, silly as that may sound, but laughter is really the best way to cope with failure as I found out then. In a way, it really is cathartic, since I doubt this is will be my reaction a few weeks ago, I will probably sink deeper into the myre of disappointment. Looks like those dark days are behind me now.

After the earlier histrionics, the ride turned out to be uneventful...not! The route it took was curving and hill hugging. There were spots where the bus had to actually stop to allow another heavy vehicle to pass. We were literally in the middle of nowhere. At one point someone commented that it was just like travelling to Taiping, referring to the fact that the most of their classmates are making a 3 day road trip to Maxwell Hill specifically to catch bugs. In spite of the perilous road, complete with road works, I cannot help but feel drowsy.

After about 1 hour (yes, it was that long!), we reached Komtar safely, where we were to be picked up by Wei Fang's mum. Before that though, Wei Fang and Shy Yan had some errands to run. Wei Fang had to go up Prangin Mall to do his, and being a lazy ass, I decided to tag along with Shy Yan and Ee Wen. But as it turned out, she had to pick up her contact lenses and the shop was around the block. I am not complaining though, as there was quite a strong hair raising breeze.

At the shop, we had to wait for the contacts to be brought out. And both the girls took this opportunity to comment that I look like (young) Harry Potter. Just when I thought it was behind me...(Bangs head on wall).

Task completed, we headed back to meet Wei Fang. He was already waiting when we arrived at the rendezvous, and his mum was already on the way. She will send us back to the C Gate of Chung Ling High School where I will hopefully get a ride somehow. As it turns out, my victim was Shy Yan as we technically live on the same street, 'technically' being the operative word since I lived on one end while she lived on the other.

All in all, it was an eventful and interesting day, hell seeing Wei Fang, Shy Yan and Ee Wen cower in fear of Ju Ping's dog was already worth the price of involvement ;).

Bug central

2006-08-22T21:08:00.000-07:00

Today I did something totally unexpected of me, as a person and as a physics student. Having decided to move out of my comfort zone and experience more, I went and caught bugs with some of my biology student friends. And it was not your typical stroll in the park and catch a few bugs affair, nuh-uh, it was a full blooded, hike up the hills, running around with butterfly nets like mad men type of hunt. Heck, it even warranted its own special trip to the nether regions of the island.

The day started very early, at 6.30am to be exact. That was the scheduled pick-up time for the participants in our expedition. Unfortunately, I was unable to make it due to a slight error in understanding. In a state of panic, I had to resort to contacting Ju Ping, who was the leader of the day. Thankfully, this was quickly sorted out, with his mum making a detour to fetch me, but not before making making me sweat it out anticipating the reception she might give me. But guilt aside, I was lucky to get off with nothing but some mild chiding.

As our destination was located on the other side of Penang Island, we had to go over hill and dale to get there. The trip was literally hair-raising (not knocking on your mum's driving skills, Ju Ping), courtesy of the open window policy we were adopting. Seated at the side, my hair was constantly in a vertical state, but no where near as wavy as Wei Fang's were though :). We arrived at Ju Ping's house safely, but his mum's driving skills were not my main concern anyway, it was his actually, for he was to be our ~~killer~~ driver for the duration of our bug-catching operation.

The exact spot where we wage battle with our six-legged foes is an orchard owned by one of Ju Ping's family friends. After parking the car at the foot of the hillock, Ju Ping was given a tour of the trail we were to follow, while we the four remaining bug-catchers psyched ourselves up to take the slow walk up the incline while hopefully bagging bugs.

It was during this wait while doubts about the enormity of our task cropped up. Our erstwhile cocky and confident heroes started to lose belief, making statements and questions like, 'It's not easy u know, the other team only got 8 bugs in their entire day out in the field!' or 'The bugs might mutate and kill and preserve us instead! OMG!'. Ok ok, I made that last part up, but we were less than optimistic. And after finally getting our leader back and getting on our way, our fears were initially realised. Bugs were no where to be seen, and the ones sighted were the types not worth seeing. Our early attempts fell flat too, adding to the self-doubt. I guess our day just got a little bit longer.

As they say, it only takes a crack to burst the dam. I could not agree more with this statement. We did not have to wait long to open the floodgates. Yours truly played a part in getting that first kill, ahem ahem, by performing a downward cut like a samurai with a butterfly net on the unsuspecting bug, while our Animal Planet watching, Steve Irwin imitating leader coaxed it into the container. It might only be a small bug, but it was a morale booster, for me at least, and showed that we stand a chance against them.

This initial success seemed to burst the dam, as we found a cluster of earth bound bugs soon after, easy meat for us pro catchers ;).In the next hour or so, we were really racking up the bugs, with more than 20 caught. Not a bad rate by all means. Unfortunately though, depending on how you see it, most of them were of the small variety, and Ju Ping reckoned it was wise to move on to bigger game. To do that we must hike deeper into the orchard.

Along the way to the Promised Land of big bugs, we managed to come across many more smaller bugs, but we could all thumb our noses at them now. Too bad for the lack of huge ones though. However, we did manage to come across a monster...arachnid. The spider was huge, about the size of my palm, and the main line of its web was as thick as the threads my mum uses for her crocheting. It was very colourful, which probably signaled that it's poisonous, and its fangs look like they could give Dracula's a run for their money. Since this was not what Ju Ping and gang were looking for, we said good bye and left it alone, but not before regretting not bringing a camera.

Being all tired from the hike, we decided to take a break, right on the road, before making our final push to a shed further up. This gave us a moment to truly enjoy our surroundings, and Ju Ping remarked that he could just sit there all day. Very true words indeed. Break over, we packed up and continued on our way. We anticipated another long hike, but we felt really stupid to find that the shed was actually a stone's throw a way, literally, from where we rested.

We kept our end of the bargain by hiking up, but the big bugs did not, as not one of them was in sight. I guess they wised up. Nevertheless, it was a fun hike, with lots of joking and fooling around, most of them courtesy of Wei Fang and Shy Yan, who fought a running battle of one-upmanship throughout. We had to go back to base camp though to murder the bugs and mount them.

Catching them was tough, but nowhere near as tough as knocking them out and preserving them. For starters, we could get them into the plastic containers, but how could we get them out without accidentally setting them free? A conundrum indeed, but the Bio guys were truly intrepid, and managed to improvise some 'techniques' to achieve this. Then there's the other problem of preserving them.

I have been told that a needle filled with formalin will be stuck into the anus of them bug, but I really have to see it to believe it. I could not fathom how they were going to do that on the oh so small bugs, but our expert poker, Shy Yan proved me wrong by casually screwing the bug in the ass.
Killing works the appetite, and it's bad news when you have five hungry teenagers. To save the dog from having chunks bitten off him, Ju Ping cooked up a storm.

*this is getting long, so I will continue tomorrow*

Necessary evil

2006-08-21T08:39:00.000-07:00

As I am writing this, my body is quivering from sheer fatigue, both mental and physical. My comrades in the Sixth Form of Chung Ling High School would have just completed our first test since reentering our school. This is also the main excuse for the drop in my blogging activity for the past week or so.

I must say, it is an entirely different feeling from any previous test. For starters, instead of the whole gamut of subjects that we have to take previously, we now have a scant five to occupy ourselves with. This is not to say it will be easier though, far from it. I don't know what's it with the teachers, but from the moment we stepped into Form 6, they were drumming into us how hard it is, talk about negative programming. Consequently, we were already quivering in our shoes at the prospect of the test.

Nevertheless, I still couldn't muster enough motivation to have a go at it, especially after what happened in my last post. Thus, I was resigned to getting my ass handed to me by this big ass test. Being a masochist who enjoys embarassment, I am going to give a subject by subject account of my ass being whupped.

Day 1 Pengajian Am(PA aka Pain in the Ass)
To be honest, this paper is kind of similar to History in some sections, just with more propaganda thrown in. Unfortunately, it also inflicts the same kind of boredom as its brethren. Needless to say, I have been less than enthusiastic when it comes to revising for it, just enough to complete whatever that will be tested. I was quite nervous just before the exam, having visualised all the mental torture my mind will have to undergo, after all if you are going to own someone, you might as well do it from the beginning right? Boy, was I wrong. I didn't bring my calculator and I had to do the sums the old-fashioned way, by pen and paper, and still had at least 15 minutes left. ANd like any sensible student I used the spare time wisely, namely by writing a poem, a really really short one which sums up perfectly the situation I have found myself in:
Tests - a futile battle
You think you know the answer,
But it really is just an illusion,
Just when you think you are better,
It easily reveals your wrong assumption. <(Ju Ping, I think you will agree with this part, if you are reading this)

You think you are filled with knowledge,
But the test results tell otherwise, <(I sure as hell would agree with this, after today)
Just when you think you have gained an edge,
It says you are better off making a peace treatise.

Looking back at this, it sure is remarkably transcient, especially since both the events in brackets happened today, five days AFTER this has been written chucked into my file.

Day 2 Chemistry (for disaster)
Chem is not a kind subject to me, to put it bluntly. I just don't get it, plain and simple. The test itself was uneventful. No poems this time unfortunately, as I was struggling for time.

Day 3 Mathematics
This should rank as one of the biggest anticlimaxes of all time. I came into this expecting a big can of whup ass to be opened and came away feeling like the can was just a size small, and expired. It wasn't hard at all, some parts might be tricky but still doable. The only obstacle was time, as I couldn't finish a question.

Day 4 MUET(fancy term for the English we take)
This was always going to be a cakewalk, since no way am I going to allow anything but a resounding success. I was proven right as the cloze test was only tricky when you have to sieve through the jumble of possible answers. The summary was quite confusing at first, since we had to summarise TWO passages into a single summary, which was totally alien to me. But first appearances are deceiving and I managed to finish comfortably with 15 minutes to spare.

Day 5 Physics
Ahhh, the final day, and the last but definitely not least paper, Physics. This was the day I dreaded the most. Physics has always been a persistent pain in the ass for me, but I have always managed to scrape through with a pass, and on the one or two occasions I failed it was always close. There was to be no such respite today though, as there was no hope left at all after the dust has settled. In the past there has always been a glimmer of hope that I might pass, no matter how badly i thought I did, but not this time. In one fell swoop, all hope was dashed. The paper had me under the cosh right from the start, never letting up its assault on my brain.

That's all for this post, as I am dead tired.

Guilty until proven innocent

2006-08-11T09:14:00.000-07:00

What I am about to blog about might get me into trouble, but I don't give a fuck. Certain people have screwed me over, and the people who should have stood up for me didn't, hell, they screwed me over even more, so the fuck I care about damaged reputations. This is a tale with enough treachery and false pretenses to rival Bush's war of terror, set in a school setting of course.

First, some background, since entering Form 6, I have joined the C*unsel*ing Group, note, I do this word masking to at least have some leverage for denial should I get into trouble, but I doubt it, seeing the traffic, or rather lack of, I get in this blog. Anyway, I have had some ideological conflicts with the people in charge, mostly due to me being the fun loving type and them being stuffy sticklers of the rulebook, but things have been fine more or less. From the start, the teacher has always impressed upon us the importance of secrecy and trust, of setting a good example, lest we *gasp* lose our credibility. I even went through a day camp to endure even more talk about this, on the day before my Bridge Run, which is majorly important to me.

Okay, now comes the main part. This tale started 2 days ago, on Wednesday. I usually don't frequent the C*ounsel*ing Room, but on this particular occasion I did. As it was, they have just put up the list of members who have passed the probation period. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to guess that my name wasn't on it. Obviously, I was perplexed, as far as I am concerned, I have fulfilled all the pain in the ass criteria, I didn't miss the camp nor my duty days, and I didn't beat up anyone. Sure, I have had more than my fair share of run ins with the abovementioned committee members, but just because the are taking things too seriously, certainly not enough to sack me.

Thus mystified, I decided to take it up with the teacher-advisor the next day, but I was promptly told to talk to the President instead. Thinking it was a simple clerical mistake, common when you have overworked students moonlighting as secretaries, I thought nothing of it. As luck would have it, the President dropped by my class today to discuss something with a committee member from my class. His appearance was certainly fortuitous, else I would have forgotten to bring it up with him otherwise. Unfortunately, I was shunted aside, yet again, and told to meet him during recess.

Recess came, and I dutifully adjourned to the C*ounsel*ing Room. After settling down, we got ready to discuss the matter at hand. At this point in time, I was still thinking that it was just a simple case of my name slipping through the system. The look on the Prez's face was ominous, but I was still genuinely shocked when the truth of the matter came out. The first question to spring out from his mouth, was one asking me whether I know what this is all about. Well duh, you think I came all the way down for a nice chat? I have Ju Ping for that. Apparently, a few guys, yes guys, have been complaining that I talk about 'dirty' topics, and I don't think they meant dirty laundry, so much so that they feel disgusted. That ticked me off that something wasn't right. If you want someone complaining about obscene talk, at least get a girl, she can plead sexual harassment and whatnot. What guy, guys who have spent a few years in my school no less, would complain about that? Last time I checked, whenever someone said something with sexual innuendo in it, the whole class laughed, boys and girls.

What does that have to do with the absence of my name on the list, you ask? I have been 'left out' of that list because of that, and pending the results of a psyche test. A psyche test? Oh yeah, some more background, last week I took a psyche test which consisted of drawing a few fruit trees. I took the test thinking that it had something to do with my future career prospects, a guide if you like, and the teacher who gave me the test said something along the lines of that.

Anyway, my assumption was about to be torn down. The moment the Prez mentioned the psyche test, I was like 'WTF???', and thought, this couldn't be the test I took last week, can it? This was definitely getting weirder by the minute. Stupidly, I asked the Prez what psyche test? He proceeded to ask me an even stupider question, 'do you know what the test you took last week was for?'. Well duh. My brain cells were obviously dulled by all the math questions I was doing before this meeting, but I managed to put two and two together in the duration between him asking me that question and giving the answer.

The teacher-advisor having heard the allegations against me, arranged for another teacher to give me a psyche test. And I can't believe that I thought there was no ulterior motive. Talk about doing something under false pretenses. So now my reputation depends on some drawings of fruit trees I made while thinking it was for something else, sweet.

After taking a minute to digest the charges levelled against me, and trying to think of even one incident remotely fitting the ones described, I came to the conclusion that it was a premeditated set up. Evidence you ask? I have none, I will admit that, but there are just some things that don't match up. The persons knew I was a C*unsel*ing member, but I don't think many know that, heck I don't even get to freaking wear the badge. While I do tell bawldy jokes every now and then, I am by no means the biggest source of them, and I don't think mine were particularly 'powerful'. Besides that, they were directed to my classmates around me, and I honestly trust that they are close enough with me to not take offense.

Upon gathering taking all that in, I tried to be calm, but it was hard not to be angry. Someone has just performed a character assasination on you, and it was a perfect one too, with me not knowing about it until now. And with the stupid anonymity shit, they don't even have to be held accountable for all the slander. Trying to be reasonable, I asked the Prez whether it was fair to take action against me, just because someone decided to sully my name, and they have heard the people attacking me, but they haven't heard the people defending me. In my heart, I was fucking pissed, haven't they heard of innocent until proven guilty? Aren't the C*ounsel*ing Group supposed to be more open? It's ok to turn your backs on one of your own? To me, this was hypocrisy to the max. Instead of all the caring shit they constantly preach about, I have a dagger stuck between my shoulder blades just because the teacher-advisor wants to protect their image.

Walking back to my class, I was in a funk, and my anger was not tempered by the sight of certain people walking together. I spent the next two periods of MUET doing basically nothing. If the people who are out to get me are in my class, I don't want them to gain any knowledge from what I say. Yes, this sounds egotistical, but MUET is the only subject I can make an impression in, and people actually turn to me for help in. I just feel so betrayed.

When the truth gets out, and it WILL get out, I expect an apology from the parties involved, especially the CG. As of now though, I am thinking of the RM10 I spent for the guidebook, RM13 I spent for the t-shirt, used only once, RM5 for the camp I attended, and how I could get all the money back. It ain't about the money, but I would do anything to hurt them now.

Irony of ironies

2006-08-06T08:49:00.000-07:00

This is supposed to be intended solely for the FuckRIENDSTER version of my blog, but I thought 'what the heck, they bloody robbed me of my intended post of the day' and decided to air the dirty laundry here too.

*The blog originally bearing the above title could not be presented. Reasons will be outlined below. WARNING: liberal use of expletives.*

FUCK YOU FRIENDSTER. This stupid imbecilic, outdated excuse for a website just robbed me of a perfectly good post. I was typing halfway through, hell it wasn't even halfway, but I sure as fuck spent 45 minutes on it, and it was fucking long, when FuckRIENDSTER decided to screw around with the connection. Ok fine, you can fucking screw around with it, hell, it happens to blogspot half the time, just ask my friend, Ju Ping, but the difference between genius and stupidity is sometimes just the ability to mindlessly retain content. For fuck's sake, at least try to be a little more reliable and don't just wipe off the hard work people put in.

And for those of you wondering why I don't just use blogspot once and for all, I do. I have another blog there with the same content, the address of which I am going to post now. The thing is I will for convenience's sake write in FRetardIENDSTER's blog then copy and paste to blogspot. But no fucking more, I am going to do the opposite now. This crap of a site is useful only because it is accessible to most of the people I know.

Anyway, I just endured a fucking weekend, and this shit just crops up. Screw you, my the retarded programmers responsible for this intellectual violation never be able to get an erection again.

Inspiration

2006-08-04T08:47:00.000-07:00

Ever since last year, my skills in creative writing have steadily gone downhill. Of course I don't mean my normal essay writing, but it's my skill in genres like poetry and prose that has atrophied. One look at the blogs of my fellow bloggers Ju Ping and Kee Wai's blogs (see, repitative use of various forms of the word 'blog', a sign of lack of creativity) would confirm my distinct lack of variation.

Anyhow, I don't feel it's more of a lack of ability on my part than a lack of a muse to unlock that latent talent. It doesn't even need to be human. During my most productive period, if you can call it that, I was on an emotional rollercoaster. Fueled by everything from angst to rage to love to hate, my works were huge in quantity if not in quality. Even today, whenever I look at my works, I can't help but cringe a little. There were a few funny ones, but in general they suck.

Having said that, I feel that those were more of a false peak. Surely I can't be limited to such drivel. In short I just need a trigger. And in recent weeks, I believe I am getting close. A lot of frustration has been building up, along with some passion. But the sad thing is, the source of all this, probably won't appreciate whatever that I might produce.

Anyway, if any of you guys have any good ideas for a story or poem, please be kind enough to share it with me.