Sunday, October 29, 2006

Teaching teachers

We all hear horror stories about impossibly inept trainee teachers or freshly minted ones, and we might even laugh at their incompetence. Every now and then, we will even personally encounter one, and we will haughtily correct their every mistake, all the while shrinking their already miniscule confidence. Like it or not, noob teachers are as much a part of the school environment as stinky toilets.

Deep down inside, I have always thought that these 'teachers' must have sucked really bad in whatever course they happen to be majoring at in whatever overhyped local university, only to assure myself that they could not suck that much. After all, they did get into university right? Wrong. Today there was an interesting piece on Bachelor of Education (B. Ed) graduates in one of our local newspapers. And boy, was it enlightening. I was not that interested in the whole article itself, but for one minor fact. One of the recent graduates interviewed had a CGPA of 2.64. 2.64, dammit! That's like an average of C! For God's sake, can't she do better than that? And the bigwigs in their fat armchairs expect us to learn from teachers who cannot even hold their own.

For some reason I doubt that this is an isolated case. In fact, I personally feel 2.64 is pretty generous for that undergrad and does not reflect her average capabilities. I do not mean to be racially biased, but my gut tells me that she got a 4.0 or 3.xx in her Islamic Civilisation subject to pull up her grades. Not that there's anything wrong with that, if she wants to teach that subject that is.

Well, this is what we get for training teachers like an assembly line. Not that there's anything wrong with that too, but another gut feeling tells me that the raw material sent in does not exactly conform to SIRIM standards.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Reason to sue

While still in a hazy stupor after my afternoon nap today, I had a thought provoking vision. We all hear about smokers with lung disease who sue tobacco companies for massive amounts of money when they themselves made the choice to smoke. All this smacks of irresponsibility and passing the buck, traits which I associate with smokers. Because of their despicable habit and this, most of them disgust me. So, what would happen if the tables were turned?

Since most smokers (in Malaysia at least) light up regardless of location nor occasion, non-smokers are often exposed to their toxic fumes. Obviously, these toxic fumes have an effect on them too, creating sickness, and thus forcing the afflicted to pay needless medical fees to get well. It's not like smokers do not do it on purpose too. Because most of them arrogantly ignore what ever pleas to refrain from smoking, it can be said that they are purposely bringing harm to people. I mean, when you beat someone up and send them into hospital, you are forced to pay their medical fees right? The same goes for this, and smokers should pay for the damage they cause, perhaps they should pay even more, for the damage is internal and the are such irresponsible retards.

Having said all that, all we need is a good lawyer and someone to be made an example of, and presto, we have a better smoking deterrent that the lame ass 'Tak Nak'! campaign.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Blooded

Having had my blood sucked dry figuratively all my life by the costs of living, I finally got the taste of having it done literally today. Of course not until I am bone dry, so rest assured, this blogger ain't going nowhere for now.

My dad has been a life-long blood donor, up until very recently, when they told him he was overaged. Nevertheless, he has always encouraged me to do the same. My response every time has been the same, ' See first-lah'. I am not one to go out of my way to do something, unless it has anything to do with girls of course, and this was no different. But things have a way of dropping into your lap, and the news that my school's Sixth Form Society is having a blood donation drive made the choice for me. I did not have to go out of my way to donate blood, in fact I would have to go out of my way to NOT donate, as some of my friends are inclined to do.

Anyway, since I am still not legally 18, I had to get authorisation from my old folks, nevermind the fact that 'legality' was just 3 days away. Old pops was more than happy to let me spill my blood, though Mum as usual had her reservations, but allowed me to do as I wish anyway. Seeing as the campaign was big news if not a big deal to us Sixth Formers, it was certainly a hot topic for discussion. Some of my classmates dredged up old horror stories about the ineptitude of the nurses, usually involving the relative of a neighbour of a long lost friend's father, or something like that. Most of them have a grain of truth in them though, and I was a little apprehensive.

Regardless, when the day came, I was up for it, nevermind my heart that was threatening to show off how much it can dish out a beating nor the legs that were making a better impression of jelly with each step to the blood donating area. I had counted on the companionship of a few classmates to shore up my courage, but it turns out that only less than a dozen were up for it. Oh well, I guess it's true when they say that courage comes from within.

When I got there, there were loads of students already milling about. To be blunt, it was a mess. Most of them were there to just soak in the atmosphere, or perhaps Count Dracula was a distant ancestor. In my opinion, they also had too many redundant people on duty. Most of them don't seem to know anything whenever I had a query. In a nutshell, they served to choke up the place.

After wasting about half an hour trying to figure out where to get started, I finally located the correct line, while munching curry puffs and muffins. Ah, the food, glorious food. The food line was limited to muffins and curry puffs, but at least it was all you can eat, and that was enough for someone who's about to lose a pint of his blood. Who knows, I might not make it, and I would want to have a last meal, even if it consists of curry puffs and muffins.

The line might seem long at first, but the next thing I know, I was already in the adjacent room staring at a senior gushing out blood into a bag. Whoosh, and there was an empty cot. This was the moment of truth, but then I already know the ending, for Peter will always go through with his actions. I strode past the a few other prospective donors who were still 'discussing' whether to take this opening. The cot was hard, and I made a tactical error in selecting a cot facing directly the doorway, with the sun in my eyes, but other than that I was ready to roll.

The guy stabbing me was quite young, looked to be in his 30s, and the moment before the needle poked, all the horror stories came flooding back. Ok I just made that up, it was not so dramatic. Actually, I was bantering with the next few people in line, all bravado and bluster. Owing to my location, I was probably the only one there to be able to convey my (feigned) pain. The jab itself was not that painful. In fact, getting stabbed by a spring-loaded lancet moments earlier to determine my blood type hurt more, so much more that I was thinking about the prick more than the big needle in my arm. I would say then that this process was the most painful. Hours later, I would be proven wrong when ripping off my plaster though.

I felt fine even though I am 1 pint lighter and wasted no time in pigging out at the food table. Munching on yet another piece of curry puff, I came to the conclusion that blood donation ain't that bad at all.

Public Service Announcement: Please Donate Blood.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

A new "power"

Today, the world woke up to the news that the world's most exclusive (and dangerous) club has a new member. It is certainly joyous news, and I would like to extend my heartiest congratulations to the brilliant North Korean scientists and spies who made this happen.

Big ups should also go to the esteemed leader Kim for having the foresight and gumption to go through with this in spite of threats of sanction and war and wholesale condemnation by mankind. By doing what he did, he has certainly shown that he trancends mankind and godhood and demonhood and whatever hoods (including the ones on a car), and rightly deserves the blind adulation wrought upon him by his countryman. Even before this defining moment, he has shown more than enough greatness by gaining such respect even by starving his people.

Another big plus from this nuclear test is the fact that Mr. Kim's status as an international leader has been elevated. He can now claim equal footing with George W. Bush as a leader of a nuclear nation, and the rivalry can now begin properly. Now that they are rivals, we the little people can get some real entertainment, for it looks like it will go a long way. They might even possibly be still at it when both make their way down to their huge specially reserved penthouse in hell. Please do keep in mind though, they will be in hell only because their godlike qualities will make heaven or purgatory too comfortable for their liking, macho men that they are.

Friday, October 06, 2006

POSSIBLE MUET ORAL QUESTIONS HERE!!!

I have a select list of possible questions for the oral component of the MUET exam in my hands --- not. Alright, that title was just an experiment to test the effectiveness of adding '!!!' to the end of a blog title to attract readers. Ok ok, I admit it was also a cheap way to draw in some of the decidedly edgy sixth formers who are about to sit for said test.

SInce we are on the topic of the oral test, I might as well dissect the awesome fear most of my schoolmates have for it. In all respects, it is a simple test, heck this part expends the least energy and takes up the least time but for the listening component. Coming from a school with students who can never seem to keep their mouths shut, I would expect most of my schoolmates to wing it at least. Not so apparently, for the moment someone so much as whispers 'MUET oral test', the whole class clams up like a captured Cold War spy, broken of course by the occasional shiver and whimper.

Normally intelligent and articulate students are automatically reduced to mumbling, incomprehensible puppies when they are simulating the test. Throughout the ordeal, you can actually see cold sweat forming on their foreheads, their fingers twitching, their eyes casting longing looks towards the imagined door of freedom. As an observer, you cannot help but feel for them. Their are being made to go through what is akin to mental torture, and I am not surprised if any of them actually breaks into tears upon completing the damned test.

Obviously, being a motormouth is not enough for you to do well, you need to have substance as well. Having helped some of my friends with their tests, I can see that they have made many points most of the time, perhaps too many. Even during practice, they feel nervous, and when the nerves set in, the clutter of so many differing points trigger a block in the mind and they spit out their points in an incoherant heap. And I am talking about some of the more capable candidates, what about the less confident ones then? Well, it is as if they are not taking the test at all, literally, for they do not say anything that will help their cause.

Having seen the fear factor the oral test inspires in my fellow candidates, I am tempted to ask whether this test is being conducted in the right way. I feel it is to rigid, with too much riding on it. I myself like to take a relaxed approach, trying to make it a tad casual, only to get a mild reprimand to 'not make it too general'. But how the hell am I to make it all detailed and specific in two minutes? How many real life talks and explanations are done and dusted in two minutes or conversations in ten? In the real world, two minutes is only good enough for saying 'hi, ermmm how's the weather lately?', which is exactly what a lot of the candidates do. I can tell you that, a REAL conversation takes more than words, it needs a certain 'feel' and human instinct, things which are inborn in all humans. The idealised 'conversations' and stating of 'opinions' which make up this test are but bastardised simulations of these elements. Pirated in the true Malaysian tradition.