Run Fatboy, Run!

Thanks to my recently bulky mass, I have been experiencing a new dimension to my running, the one which requires me to be in perpetual struggle throughout a race. To be honest though, this is nothing new. As a recap, I dragged my out of shape ass through 26km of hell in the Malakoff 26k(what else) Run, then followed up by getting myself kicked over 10k by an 800m runner who's more renowned for his speed than his stamina in the Tanjung 10k, which in turn was only a warm-up for the Penang Bridge Run (25K category) the following week. I had more or less the same outcome for all 3 races. All 3 races ended up with me in the medical tent, and suffering excruciating pain in my feet and lower legs. I seriously was not able to walk properly in the aftermath of those races, for up to a few days time each. The main cause could easily have been my increased mass, since these races were run at my heaviest racing weight.

Anyway, with that wretched sequence outta the way, I figured I should make more of an effort to raise my performance a notch. At least I should be seen trying, right? The scene for this was also quite apt, my alma mater, logical since this race was organised by the school's old boys' association. Last Sunday, was not my first time running in this race, but this year's route of about 10k is entirely new though. The race was fast and furious from the start, and I was barely out the school gates when I started to get passed like it was going outta style. The urge was there to resist, but one look at the hot and soon to get hotter weather made me swallow my pride and just let them go. It's not as if my legs were up for it too since they were screaming at me to stop. So much for moving outta the struggling dimension.

The screaming didn't stop as the race went on, but if there's a relief, it's the sight of a lot of the guys who passed me getting nearer and nearer. True enough the hot and dusty course took its toll. By the time I crossed the finish, I was in 7th place for my category and 8th overall. Still, this race hurt, and I don't mean my legs. For once, my legs were fine, aside from some tightness in my calves. It hurt, because I still ran subpar to my abilities. Of the 7 guys that beat me, I felt I should hv been able to cope with 3. My leisurely start put paid to that though, and it's still a big weakness for me, dating from my earliest days in running. As for some of the guys I did beat, I should have been further ahead. Basically, I am in a no win situation.

Anyway, what's done is done. I can only look forward to my next race, which is this weekend. Redemption-wise, it is good news for it to come so soon. As for my actual shape though, it's bad news, since there is nothing much I can do to better it. To spice things up, it's a road relay, ergo if I suck, I will be causing my whole team to suck. Geez, who said running was simple?

Creature of the Night

It's alive! Muahahahahahahha, it's alive...!

*Sparks*. Dang, there goes the lights again. It's not easy, you know, to resurrect a blog. Sometimes you gotta short out a fuse or 2, even though my blog has been dead and resurrected again for 65246625 times. This time the hiatus had to be ended using power enough to bring Frankenstein's monster to life 1000 times over.

Right, now that we got that outta the way... I have nothing to blog about. Darn, I forgot the most important ingredient, the soul. Oh well, nevermind. As it is, I am currently in a very pathetic state, sitting in front of the PC at 2.30 in the morning. The past few days have been much of the same, except I sleep at 4 or later. Of course, that wasn't the only transformation I made. Lo and behold, 5 months of tertiary education has also bestowed upon me the title of "resident lard-ass". My daily early morning sojourns would have been intolerable without all the cookies and instant noodles. Yeah yeah, all you less than fit people that I used to laugh at can return the compliments now.

Great, just great.

Uphill All The Way

Hills. Definitely not for me. At best, they are to be tolerated, a part of running that you sometimes have to do to be gooooooood (drag the word out for emphasis). At worse..., ok let's not go there. So if they already so hostile when part of a run, why the hell am I doing running a race that is all hill??? That's question I was trying to answer while taking part in the annual race up Penang Hill organised by Kwong Wah Jit Poh, amidst curses and gritted teeth.

The answer was none too obvious during that self-prescribed torture session, my body simply refusing to devote more energy to cogitating. Frankly speaking I don't blame it, I have long had a love hate relationship of epic proportions with hiking and hills in general. Normally, I avoid them like the plague, but for 1 special day each year, the planets align, the feng shui energies are at full blast, and I cast aside my hill aversion to enter this event. And just as sure that I would take part, I will regret that decision, usually at the point where I just made it up the first crest looking like a wreck.

This year was no different. To boot, I had done ZERO hiking in the run up to the event. Regardless, annual rituals are to be respected, and besides I am technically a member of a hiking team, so what the heck, crashing and burning can still be kinda fun, I hope. I started out quite well, but then the beginning is a run of about more than 2k, so there was not much consolation there. Things began to look grim as I was getting passed by runners I have no problem beating in my sleep. Come on! We haven't even left the ground yet!

My body soon clicked into normal hiking mode soon after the flat part ended. Long buried curses were dredged up and flowed easily. The long forgotten feeling of burning calfs only hiking could give started to introduce itself. Long story short, it was an uphill battle, pun intended. To stave off the grim outlook, I resorted to pumping in reinforcements. In my near catatonic state, the best I could muster were stuff like, "Pain is temporary, glory is forever" and "No guts, no glory". Creative huh.

Thankfully, I did get stronger in the 1 year since the last edition of this hike, and my pain was felt for a shorter time. About 3 minutes less in fact for a time of 53.39 mins, good enough for 7th place if I am not mistaken. Ah well, considering the circumstances, I don't have much to complain about. Most of the complainin' was done on the way up anyway. Would I WANT to try again next year? I doubt it. Would I actually try it again next year? Yea, pretty much.

I can't help it, go blame Penang Hill.

Rainbow after the rain

It was an intense battle. The outcome wasn't immediately certain as the smoke and dust from the almighty battle settled. As I finally catch a well deserved easy breath of air, I surveyed the effects of that battle, prepared for dismay. But a glance at the tag bestowed unto me told all that I needed to know. I had made it. I had finally stepped into the promised land with 2 spots to spare.

In bluer collar language, I finally managed to get among the money winning places in a race. The destination was Ipoh, a very unfamiliar place to me, before this race, I have only made passing visits there, but now it has a special place in my heart. In one fell swoop, I lopped off nearly 10 minutes off my personal best for a time of 1.27:35, good enough for 18th place. While this is a moment to savour, it is the culmination of hours of hard work.

The weight has finally been lifted, it's about time I start writing my story as a runner.

New Life, New Place, New Race

I spent the past week holed up with about 2100 fellow newbie undergrads at the sprawling USM campus. While initially filled with trepidation, the huge and intimidating grounds gradually shrunk and felt more like home. Of course, getting lost is still part of the daily itinerary, but in a perverse way, it's kinda fun too. I bet even the seniors don't fully know the ins and outs of the place 100%, so I guess for us freshies it's forgivable. The grounds might be impressive and the facilities more than adequate, but the best part about getting into university is meeting new people. No joke. There are seriously some colourful characters even in my hostel. As for the girls, I am still thanking the heavens for the sheer number of attractive young females present. Who said a guy/girl ratio of 30/70 is a bad thing?

Of course this is already the weekend, and I was among the fortunate few who reside in Penang, which means I get to go home fairly often. For this weekend however, there will not be much homely respite. I will be leaving for Ipoh tomorrow. It will be my first time taking running in the Ipoh International Run, and the interruption to training because of my orientation week is definitely a concern for me in tackling the 21ks. Regardless, these are exciting times, and hopefully this buoyant feeling I have now will be an adequate substitute for the loss of training. Of course, I cannot fail, since my big mouth told quite a few people about this trip. So for my ego among my uni mates, and for my own self belief, let's hope I achieve a breakthrough.

Anyway, whatever happens, this has been a week for many firsts.

Pride comes before a fall

In my previous post, I joyfully proclaimed about breaking through a barrier in training. When something like that happens, I naturally expect more progress to be forthcoming. But then I fail to take into account that it's me I was talking about, and when something good happens, something else really really sucky will come along to balance it out. The latter couldn't be truer.

Since that fateful run on the treadmill, my optimism has been rewarded with failure upon failure. I don't know whether that run itself took a lot more out of me than I thought, or that it was purely mental, since I didn't really feel worse from my efforts. The fact of the matter is that I couldn't even manage ONE run longer than 20 minutes, a bare minimum to me to be considered an aerobic effort. Paces I can maintain in my sleep for 45 minutes have me labouring already at 15 minutes, and I find myself abandoning runs even before I got done with my warm-up run, instead working on sprints and hill charges. Well, I guess at least my speed won't be declining, some consolation that is.

Oh before I sign off, I just remembered that the track meet mentioned last time around is this weekend, and to compound my training difficulties, I am still scrambling for the forms. Now if anyone doesn't believe in the adage "when it rains, it pours", kindly direct them to me. Of course, I will willingly take the rain though, or even a drizzle, or maybe just a few raindrops, heck anything but the friggin' humid and hot weather...

Another level down, 100 more to go

It's really been a while since my last post, I can even see the cobwebs left by Google's spiders hanging all over the place. Ok enough of the cliched back-after-long-hiatus response. While I really haven't posted for a long time, I will have you guys know that I have been putting my time to busting my ass in training, and this break was pretty much required. Alright that wasn't entirely true, the truth is I got a bit sick of posting (again), and instead drowned myself in backbreaking training to cure myself of this funk (see the training was really needed!).

As far as training has been concerned, things have been going quite well, with small breakthroughs in training common. On the other hand, I haven't exactly been able to reach my desired mileage, being unable to break past the 65k mark I reached in my last cycle. I put this down mainly to motivation and determination. This is not to say I am weakening in my desire, but more of a mental barrier that I face every time I train, a testament of sorts to the degree of difficulty of the training. To put things into perspective, even if I manage to hit my old mileage, it will still be less than what is required to really move on to the next level. Ah well, I believe that when I do finally beat that mileage mark the floodgates will open. Besides, I am improving so mileage isn't a big concern yet.

Mileage aside, I am quite satisfied with my training. In fact on the treadmill, I have been besting my training records on a weekly basis, the latest being set this very evening. And since this particular mark and distance holds some significance to me, I am going to regale you guys with some personal history. For those of you with a narcoleptic history, it will be the proper time to get your coffee :).

*Turns back the clock by ermmmm, a few years*

The year was 2005, I had only become a member of the school team a few months before, and I was about to represent my school at the island level track championships. To top it off, I will be in 3 events, 4x400m, 1500m and the longest event on the programme the 5000m. My only previous experience of track was at the 1500m and 800m and that being on the school grass track. Still, I was confident. While I have only ever run middle distance before, I felt that my chances lay with the 5000m. As brash and noob as I was, I knew I wasn't even the best in the 1500m in my own school and in terms of personal best times, technically I really really suck. Of course, the fact that I had no previous experience at all with the 5000m never really occurred to me. On hindsight, I have no yardstick to give me an idea on my relative ability, but I just had the gut feeling that I was good.

I was set up for failure though, again on hindsight. My very first day of track racing I had to do a "double", run 2 events, even better yet, 1 right after the other. Yup, it sucked. Of course, I didn't know it then, instead I cast myself as the martyr since I had to run on the relay then run the 1500m. Still, things would have turned out ok if everything went to plan as my school's 4x400 was quite badass. Heck, it was probably my most concrete chance at a medal. As it turned out, after so many years of going to plan, fate decided to have a laugh just when I got to run on the relay. Rest assured I didn't screw up, but even then the dropped baton didn't seem significant as we still managed to make up time and qualify for the final. Or so we though, as we were adjudged to have committed a mistake when picking up the baton. To call this a freak accident would be an understatement.

I didn't have much time to dwell on it though, since I had about 30 minutes until my 1500. As it happened, I didn't stand a chance. My legs felt sore the first lap and I was literally bringing up the rear. There were some noob runners of course, but in typical noob fashion they sprinted the first few hundred metres. As for the favourites, needless to say they were already flying ahead. The whole field had about 20 runners so I looked really bad. The soreness subsided a bit and some of the noobs "pancit-ed" so I was able to move up in position. In the end, I did something like 5:19, while not good was still technically a personal best. Regardless, my hopes of progressing to the state championships went down in flames.

With the stage set, everything boiled down to my last event the 5000. With no prior benchmark, I set 20 minutes as my target. Hopefully that would enable me to win too. In the actual race though, my target proved to be 1 step too far and I finished in 20:26. As for the win, well, let's just say it was a few more steps further away. I did make the state championships though, but that race turned out to be total failure with me getting a stitch halfway and running way under par. All my subsequent 5000m races since then more or less turned out similarly, leaving the 20:26 still standing as my personal best.

So much for gut instinct

*Back to the present*

Of course, at my current level, the 20:26 would be easy meat, but since track races are not exactly a dime a dozen, I have had very few chances to update that mark, try something like perhaps 1 or 2 track races a year. With some luck, I hope to be able to run at the Penang Open soon. On second thought, change that to a whole shitload of luck, because as it stands, I have no idea when it will be held, even though I have been hearing about it from my juniors. I wouldn't put it past the notoriously high tech, accessible and efficient Penang association (the PAAA) to disseminate the news at the very last minute (like say 5 minutes before registration closes) to a very small audience (something like a 3 line notice at the bottom corner in the newspapers). Can't blame them really, what with them not having a website OR a blog, and being based in an area faaaaaaaar away from the city centre, totally reasonable in this day and age.

Rant aside, because after today's training run it won't hit me as much even if I miss the track event. Even though I am confident to break the 20 minute barrier, there is always still a small piece of doubt at the back of my mind, since I don't have something concrete to back it up. Those days of doubt are over though, for I managed to do 19:34. Granted the time is nothing to shout about, and it was on a treadmill, but hey, I finally managed to break past my personal milestone, so I will take this as a morale booster. The fact that it was a second half of a 40:46 10k was a nice touch too ;). So yes guys, basically I subjected you to a long ass story to tell you about this, so sue me.

Anyway, next up is to break 40 minutes in the 10k. And like the 5k, I am confident I can do it, just a little nagging doubt at the back of my mind though...

5th place, kinda...

I took part in a run yesterday morning, and in a first for myself, I was not registered beforehand. Nevertheless, I decided to go because I was told that this was a free run by the people from my running group and even if I don't get to register myself, it will still be a chance to do some speedwork. On the other hand, I am going in totally without a clue, whether it is the course, the organisation, the prizes(if any), or even the name, which by the way is Larian Harmoni something something.

Anyhow, last minute registration entailed some extra measures, like waking up early, since I also didn't know what the starting time was, which I nearly failed to do. Thankfully though, I got there with more than half an hour to spare, or so I thought. Getting there on time was the least of my troubles, as there was a huge crowd in front of the registration desks. Thinking that there sure was a lot of latecomers, I quickly took my turn at the queue, only to find that they were doing the t-shirt distribution on race morning itself. Definitely a total faux pas and a sign of a noob organiser. After much waiting and watch-glancing I did manage to put my name on a sheet of paper, by which time I also gleaned some important information like who the organisers were and what kind of runners I was up against. The race was organised by Keadilan and yes, thoughts about being arrested for whatever reason did crop up but thankfully the dozen or so police officers there were just to help with traffic direction. As for my rivals, I did not really see any lethal runners except for a state 800 meter runner who I have beaten over the longer distances, other random state runners and of course a couple of speedsters from my own team.

After the customary pre-race speech by a dignitary which in this case was a state assemblyman we were set off. As expected the young tykes from the state team took off like rockets, but sticking to my mentality of approaching this race for speedwork, I never let them get too far and sure enough, most of them ran out of fuel. All except for two. They were able to sustain their pace and were taking a toll to stick close. Having got among the front of the race, my immediate next thought was the length of this race, since I had expended a lot of energy in the early surge and was deliberating whether to surge again to gain ground on the leader. Just around this moment, I heard some footsteps approaching from behind along with a feeling of dread. It turns out that the owner of this killer aura was one of my fast teammates (the other way already in front stalking the two youngsters). He had started slowly, but had been rapidly closing the gap. As he was faster than me, I couldn't hold him back for long and was overtaken. The excitement didn't stop though as I was engaged in a skirmish with another runner of similar calibre. My initial overtaking move was countered soon after. To make things worse, the course took us near the starting area, and my lack of knowledge about the route ensured that I am not sure whether we will finish there. Once again, doubt crept into my mind whether to push hard to regain that position of to be patient. For better or worse, I elected to do the latter.

My gamble paid off, it seems we will in fact not be ending where we started, which is quite rare for a local road run. No wonder too, my watch showed less than 10 minutes had elapsed. Even for a funrun-ish race, that is still too short. That worry resolved and with a huge gap to the next runner, I bode my time while wondering where the race will end. In the meantime, my teammate had taken over the lead and was pulling ahead, having run with him countless times in practice, I knew it would be next to futile to chase him down. The next option was to target the state junior runners who were starting to flag a little. The runner I was tussling with earlier slowed down a bit, and I was able to overtake him for good this time. Soon after that we had to turn into a small street, only to be confronted by the finish less than 500 meters ahead. I swore under my breath as that would mean I had too short of the race left to make up the gap to the juniors. I still kicked hard, though maintaining an intense pace throughout the run took a lot out of me and I would guess my efforts looked as bad as it felt. I finished in 5th place behind my teammates and the juniors, though it was not an official race and there were no medals or prizes. Not long after, my erstwhile rival finished followed by... noone. Seriously, the few of us were waiting there at the finish with the officials and for a long time there was no runners crossing the finish. I mean I knew the gap between the leading group and the rest was big, but surely not this BIG.

Our confusion was answered though, as it turned out that the rest of the runners weren't directed into the junction and the police mistakenly directed them to continue along the road instead. As for us, we were lead by a motorcycle so there were no troubles. Most of the runners took it in good humour since the run was pretty short anyway, barely 4km, and they took it as getting some extra exercise. I couldn't say that though for one particular junior runner whom I knew though. He was always the arrogant sort and his attitude does not befit his ability and true to form, he was quite pissed and criticised the organisers, not openly of course, just to fellow runners who he deems to be worthy. Inwardly, I was just glad that I was able to comprehensively clean him up in the run instead.

The minor hiccups aside, the race was quite fun and water bottles and buns were generously distributed and there was also a lucky draw. For the first time in a long while or maybe ever, I won a lucky draw prize. It was only a bell like paperweight thingy but still it was something. Oh and it was my adidas Chiba Pro's race debut. So all in all a good effort.

Running Hard, Hanging Tough

The past few weeks have been tough, as far as training is concerned. In less than a month, I managed to lose my fire, find it again, and it's burning brighter to boot. Unfortunately, a perfect parade is just asking to be rained on, and my renewed vigour was countered by a nagging ankle injury. Despite my often flippant replies to injury worries raised by family and friends, getting injured is a real boogeyman at the back of my brain. I might have been more callous about this kind of thing when I was younger (heck, I sound so old saying this), but the knowledge gained made me realise that injuries are not to be trifled with and I naturally think the worse whenever I feel any pain.

A usual scenario the past few weeks have been something like this. I would be about to go out for a run and then the moment I take a few strides, the pain in my ankle would be like a warning klaxon on a sinking ship. Basically that is the point where I would have to make a decision whether to suck it up and just press on or just quit. The outcome has been about 50-50 and dependent on my state of mind. Anyway, I chose the suck it up option for my past 2 runs, lo and behold, I discovered that my pain actually goes away when I run. It's just that I have to get past the initial moments of discomfort. Of course, I have completely no idea whether I am actually doing more harm than good but what the heck, the time has come for me to just throw caution to the wind if I am to achieve any of my goals.

KL marathon race report

The big day finally arrived, and not a minute soon enough I would say. I had been training my ass off since the very beginning of the year (and I mean very, I started that afternoon barely after shaking off my New Year's tipple). Trust me, in my entire career as a runner, I have never trained continuously for such a long time, and with no other competition in the mean time to boot. My body might have been getting fitter, but my mind was getting fatigued and antsy. I was itching to race.

Besides being probably my biggest race so far, topping the Penang Bridge Run, it was also my first race of the year, and also the first since my 'train focused' approach started. Talk about triple the pressure. A lot of things happened while I was in KL too, but since this is a race report I will leave running unrelated stuff for another post. Maybe.

Anyway, some background information. For the 3 months of training, the 5 hours of back-breaking boredom in a bus, and the fear of running in an alien course, I decided to set my targets high, very high in hindsight. To be exact, I aimed to finish in under 90 minutes.

On race morning, I basically went with familiar routine, since it's not wise to try new stuff on race day. I wore my trusty Brooks T4 racers, and my usual Brooks 02 hiking team vest and Asics shorts ensemble. I did bring along my adidas KOTR vest, but I decided to wear the Brooks because it was a badge of honour to represent my team all the way here in KL, not to mention the fact that I will probably be the only one wearing that vest. Yes I am a stickler for individuality, so sue me.

I reached Dataran Merdeka, which was the starting and ending area, at about 5.15am, plenty of time to spare before the 6 am start. I whiled away my time doing some lacklustre jogging and halfhearted strides and looking around for familiar faces. I guess my 3 hours plus of sleep didn't help and my Red Bull had not kicked in yet. I then wisely decided to visit the loo, in mind of a probable rush for the toilet by the other runners just before the start. Thus relieved, I sautered over to the starting area. Yup, my race mood started to fire up. I also bumped into a familiar face, one of the regulars in Botanicals. I even joined him in a long run 2 weeks before, though that was interrupted by some untimely bowel movement. May history do not repeat itself here, was my fervent wish.

By the time I reported to the starting line, there was already quite a crowd ahead, which means they were between me and the starting line, definitely not good. Using my slight build to maximum effect I managed to weasel my self forward, though my efforts still left me with a crowd ahead of me, just smaller. Now it was just a matter of time. Then "BOOM!!".

My mid-pack status hindered my progress in those initial stages. Thoughts going through my mind involved words like 'fuck', 'why do slow people insist on standing in f front??!!', 'move outta my way, slowpoke'. After annoyingly long seconds of shuffling to the start line, the jam loosened up a lot. I immediately zeroed in on a runner zooming by, deciding to use him as a pacer. In contrast to my usual tactic for half marathons, I decided not to go out slow any more and resolutely stuck with my pacer. To my shock, my body was already feeling the effects, with my legs feeling sore and my right ankle feeling very painful. Keep in mind that was within about 2km after the start. Honestly though, those have always been old problems of mine, but usually in shorter races. My mind was blaring at me to take a break or walk rather loudly, but my experience told me to just shrug it off.

The first few km of scrambling soon settled into a calmer rhythm. The course made things tough though, with small uphills and downhills and many turns. Surprisingly I coped quite well with that, even though hills were never my strong point. About 5 km in, I managed to lose my pacer. Almost around this point a pair of female runners overtook me and left me in my dust. I managed to limit the damage, and instead used them to pace myself. Forgive me for being a bit sexist, but it does hurt to be beaten by a girl, what more two at once.

The race soon settled into a steady pattern, with flyovers providing the pain factor. As expected, my problem ankle went numb a few more km afterwards, allowing me to cruise along at a comfortable pace. My hopes for some guide for checking my pace were wrecked though, with the idiotic placing of drinking stations. No way in hell will I run 30 minutes for 5 km, which basically screwed up my pace plan. The trouble was that they did not take into account the changes in this year's route and placed the stations at the same spot but did not make the resulting changes to the distance marking.

After some time in the outskirt region of the city, the course took us back into the city centre. In other words, I was as confused as hell with more twists and turns. At least I know that it will be about 2.5 km between each drink station so I just focused on getting to the next one, slow down, grab a drink them gradually pick up again. Eventually I managed to overtake 1 of the female runners, but the other one was just increasing the gap. From about a few metres ahead, she was just flying out of sight by the time I approached the finishing straight. I consider myself a fast finisher, but it was humbling to be dusted by her. In my defense though, that lady was from Singapore and finished in 5th in the women's open category.

I gave it my all, and I can't complain about that. Still, I only managed to clock 1:36.29, for 32nd place, waaaay off my target time. The redeeming factor was that I managed to beat my previous best by about 3 minutes. That kinda put things in perspective about the standards I have to reach to achieve my goals.

A fallen warrior, a brand new successor

The signs have been showing up, slowly at first, but gradually gathering steam, until it is simply impossible to ignore. Yes, my beloved Prospec marathon racers that I use for my gym sessions have been breaking down. It started with wear and tear on the soles, doubtless having been worn down by the friction between them and their perpetual nemesis, the treadmill belt. Nevertheless, they have never boasted great traction, which was why I delegated them to gym duty in the first place, as they are not grippy enough to risk on the roads. After all that pounding though, something has to give. The next thing that didn't feel right was the feel. Even though it didn't have any fancy schmancy cushioning technology, it was usually quite good in dampening body jarring shocks. Despite the clunky appearance too, it carried me to some great workouts and my 10k PR on the treadmill to boot. Lately though, it has started showing it's age, the workouts started becoming more of a might. Don't get me wrong, I am not implying that running is totally reliant on the shoes you use, but sometimes the responsiveness of your shoe plays a part, and sadly the Prospec's responsiveness feels dead. The time is definitely near for me to say goodbye.


While warriors fall, there will always be new heroes to take their place. And while the Prospec was a hero for me working in the background, I have recently acquired a new pair of racers that I hope will be as much of a hero in the front lines. I present to you my adidas Chiba Pro racers. Unlike the Prospecs, this one will be for races apart from the odd run or so. This shoe will also take over the mantle of lightest and lowest shoe in my collection from my T4 racers.

Even though, I haven't really run enough in them to come to a conclusion. Preliminary runs indicate that this will be a smashing shoe. What else can I say after I managed to do 11km in my first run in them? I just seem to be able to cruise on and on in them.

Anyway, I hope I will be able to do a shootout comparison between my Chiba Pros and my T4s.

(Not quite)Midterm review

Since my handful of readers have been rather persistent in asking for updates to this blog, and I have run out of excuses, I think I will oblige them for once. Of course, this is also a good chance to reflect on all the training I did for the KLIM, what with it being just 2 weeks away.

Anyway, for the first time since I started running, I started a running log. That was 11 weeks ago. It was no coincidence that it was right smack in the New Year season, where I felt that I needed not only a change in my training, but also my approach towards it, if I were to really improve in my running. I needed to be more systematic, hence the creation of my running log. That was also when I had gotten a new pair of running shoes, and I don't know better motivation for running than a new pair of kicks, for me at least. Even though, the KLIM wasn't confirmed yet at that time, I more or less expected it to happen around March, thus giving me about 12 weeks or so, perfect for the training cycle I was about to undergo.

Enough of time traveling. Since then, I have logged 495km, welcomed a new pair of racers, spent countless lonely hours in the gym and busted in a water bottle and a bag. The mileage totted up includes significant mileage only though, and does not include stuff like speed work and hill work. They are listed just as strides, sprints, or hill depending on their type in the log along with the number I did. The main reason I do not include their distance is simply because I can't. I don't have an accurate measuring device for that, and at the relatively short distances the variation in accuracy makes a big difference. And I also do not want to kid myself by claiming I ran a longer distance in a shorter time. In running, it's just better to be honest to yourself or at least err on the side of caution, rather than fuel your ego.

After looking through my log, I also noticed a trend, an unintended one. For the first two months, I did a huge chunk of my training on the treadmill at my gym and the grass field near my house. Don't get me wrong, this is actually a good thing. Those months are more or less my base building months, and those surfaces are better in the respect that they lessen they beating my body takes. In contrast, I did more of my runs on the road the past few weeks, which is wise because my body needs to adjust to the pounding since the race will be on tarmac. All in all I am satisfied with that aspect of training.

As for regrets, there are plenty. Chief among them is that I could have done more mileage, even though I am already at my highest ever. There will always be the run I could have squeezed in, the morning I should have woke up earlier, the week that was lost to Chinese New Year. Whenever sloth takes over my mind, and I am left with the pieces of a missed opportunity, I always console myself with the excuse that my body needed the rest. Still, that nagging feeling of guilt will always lurk in the shadows.

Anyway, that's it for my review of my training. Despite all the troubles though, I am pretty glad I made it this far, with no real injury to boot. Let's just hope the last two weeks before the big day will be even better.

Inspiration or delusion?

With my search for a running partner mirroring my search for a girlfriend, I have to continue soldiering on solo in my runs. And like a broken record, I will continue to reiterate the hardships of such a solo quest. There is a real danger of a wire or two short-circuiting upstairs. Boundaries tend to get blurred and impossible things seem possible. Heck this might even get mistaken as runners' high by a lot of those hippie jogger types. After all euphoria and agony are easily confused for each other even in normal circumstances, what more by a semi-catatonic runner on his 10th loop of a boring course.

Anyway, I have a secret weapon when the going gets tough. As cheesy as it sounds, I always draw up those pseudo morale lifting songs from sports movies, more specifically the songs from the Rocky series. Going uphill, hearing the theme to the movie really helps. The song 'Eye of the tiger' also comes up every so often, especially when I am left to do some catch up with the frontrunners. I imagine myself as a tiger bearing down on them.

So after all that, I will leave it up to you whether running is all about inspiration or hapless delusion.

Level up

This past week I have been attempting to lengthen my runs. I felt that endurance was one of the key areas that I could really improve on, but then again that wouldn't be a problem in the first place if I could just run long at the snap of my fingers.

The thing is that distance running is veeeeeery boring if done alone. So boring, in fact, that I have taken to counting footsteps, counting down time, trying to calculate the times I need to hit, among other things to keep myself occupied. It's not so much the body but the mind that gets tired after a while.

Then there's the body, like it or not, running long is going to hurt, one way or another. There might be some minor niggles or maybe the socks didn't fit right or the shoelaces are too tight, either way they will all throw a king-sized spanner into the works. External factors aside, the legs or lungs might not feel right, and when things don't go right, it's easy to get demoralised. With your motivation gone, it's only a matter of time before you fall to the temptation of quitting your run.

With all of that in mind, I had already had about 2 or 3 aborted 1 hour runs. Due to a combination of the above reasons, they have all been scaled back to about 40 minute runs. Considering my previous runs though, they have been an improvement, heck they might even have passed for my long runs in the bad old days. Still, I got a target to hit, and that target requires a new kind of bullet, the long range kind.

One of the stumbling blocks to me running long is my refusal to slow down to a shuffle. At the very least, I must have some semblance of being a runner not a jogger. Besides that, I have taken the words of my ex-coach to heart. He told me that when you are falling way short of your target times in a workout, it's often better to not struggle on and do it just for the sake of it. So yeah, I am a picky runner.

Ok enough of the rambling and back to today. I was on the verge of setting a new record for my weekly mileage until my aversion to running long did me in. Still, the situation was still salvageable if I really stuck to my Sunday plan for a long run. In my kiasu-ness, I even did a morning run at the gym too. This was a modestly paced 7.3k, since my projected long run was in the back of my mind. In a way, this run decreased some of the pressure, as running it allowed me to hit my regular mileage of 50km.

I went out for my long run with the late afternoon run still searing overhead, as if daring me to come challenge it's wilting powers. I refused to be cowed though, even if I had been defeated by it in the past. My plan was to do a 10k, not really a long run, but I decided to see how things felt before proceeding further. My itinerary this time was simple, run to Botanical Gardens, then do loops inside until I feel dizzy or pass out.

The run there was uneventful, an aside from some residual lower leg tightness, relatively pain free. I kept my rhythm constant and tried to keep relaxed. After doing some mental calculations (another way to stave boredom), I determined that I had to do another 9 laps on top of my run there. That number scared me a bit though, so I tried not to dwell on that. After shaking off my soreness, I actually felt great and was able to enjoy my loops. I was quite pleased to find that I could just relax and enjoy the ride, this is what I really signed up for, too bad it's few and very far between (pun unintended). Whenever boredom threatened to creep in, I tried to calculate the splits for each loop, and how far I had run. I found that I was still going strong even as I was approaching my targeted distance, so I decided to try to tack on a few more loops and hit the hour mark.

The hour mark came and went, and I decided to go for another couple of loops. In the end, I managed 14 laps in addition to my run there. Hell the great feeling was just unreal, I felt that I really made a breakthrough. I could even remember my split times. To top it off, I blew right past my previous weekly mileage and did 65km in total. Just amazing.

P.s. I still need running partners. Boredom will be back for double payback after today.

Perspective

Emerging from the typical Chinese New Year binge, I reckon that my fitness survived quite well, and I was able to resume my training. Speaking about my training, I have always felt that I am progressing quite well. That is, until I got a sense of perspective a couple of days ago.

I met up with an ex-teammate of mine, Jia Hao. He's also a runner, albeit a sprinter. Like me, he also decided not to hang up his spikes after hightailing it out of Chung Ling. Of course being a sprinter his goals deviate a bit from mine, as there are no road races for him to shine in. Instead, he's aiming for the Malaysia Games later in the year.

Being a runner and eternally curious about personal bests, I inevitably shifted the topic to what his current best for the 100 is for. 10.9 seconds was his answer. Though it didn't surprise me, I was still a bit taken aback. Here I was, thinking I was the shit every time I finished a tough workout, and I couldn't be further away from the truth. While it is strange to draw comparison with a sprinter, the truth is that he is relatively further along in his training, and I have to really work harder to be on a similar level statistically.

As for getting the hurt on, I already started on it since the afternoon right after that meeting. I just went and did a 40 minute run on the field. Of course, I would have to neglect the fact that I projected a 1 hour run instead. Sigh, life is tough for a distance runner.

Long(ish) run

In my quest to be at least a decent runner, I am ever willing to try out new training plans. However, there is more or less a constant in my training, my Friday runs.

After a week of mostly treadmill or field runs, Friday will be the day I step down to the roads, weather and mood permitting. Friday runs are also my longest runs, which doesn't happen for the sake of it. The real reason behind this is that I will be running with the group I represent, the O2 Hiking Team. I am not the type that likes to plod along for hours at a snails pace, I get bored, plain and simple. So after a week of training by my lonesome self, I use the opportunity of training with my teammates to push myself to longer distances. Nevertheless, my so called long runs are still only about 10 or 11 km, which is still waaaaaay too short. Anyhow, one step at a time.

Today's weather looked a bit dreary and I could feel the damp air. Needless to say, the gloomy weather did nothing to help lift my already unmotivated spirits. However a quick reminder to my inner self that sunny, uplifting weather will only result in mid-run thirst and suffering soon rectified matters.

While the O2 gang usually start at the Botanical Gardens, I usually increased my run distance by running to the gardens and then continuing on. On my way there, I saw that a few of them were already well on their way. I stuck to my plan though, as I really need to do more mileage. The plan called for a round of the uphill sections inside the gardens in addition to the usual small round. Running that uphill part was bound to be hard, even for someone with fresh legs and I braced myself for the torrent of negative thoughts that will flow through my mind. Surprisingly, the bombardment never came, and I just flowed through that climb with surprising lack of pain. Of course, the cool weather might have something to do with that. Still, my confidence was boosted, and I increased my effort.

The next stretch out of the gardens, was all flat, at least until the Youth Park. Even so, the hardest hill part was behind me. The hills facing me next were not so much one big difficult climb as they were a multitude of small climbs, annoying ones. I managed to keep my rhythm, which was important in managing the hills. Pretty soon, I strode through my run, such was the apparent ease. So much so that on my return trip, I felt good enough and motivated enough to push hard. This was completely different to most of my previous runs, where my last minute pushes were more of forced efforts.

After finishing the run, I did 5 hill charges with one of the faster guys on the team. Overall, a very solid training day.

Nocturnal drama 2

Bad news, I had another nightmare just now. This time it is also about exams, but with a slight kung fu-commuter-thieving twist.

The earliest detail I can remember is me taking public transport (most of my dreams have some variation on this, I wonder why). This time the public transport in question is the bus (no surprises here). The driver looked a bit shifty, as if he was stoned or something. At least he wasn't that stoned to walk around, except that he did it while the bus was moving. Whoa, I think my dreams just stepped up a notch, autopilot for buses and the old Hin company type of buses at that! The surreality didn't end there. Halfway through, the bus morphed into a passenger ferry. Too bad that was the only thing that changed, because the driver didn't cure his wanderlust. There was a few close calls too, with the bus/ferry missing a few other (larger) boats at the last second.

Anyway, I did manage to reach dry land in one piece, and quite close to my intended destination too, assuming I am headed to my gym, since my targeted destination was never made clear. We were dropped off at Island Plaza of all places, and the driver just left and entered the Plaza, leaving me with a busload of puzzled passengers. Some of them wandered off, but I decided to stay put, there's a possibility the driver went just off to buy some weed, since similar things have happened in real life. True enough, he did return, but too bad I couldn't remember what happened after this point.

Scene two was more scary than scene one which was just plain baffling. Anyway, I found myself up against a familiar foe, exams. This time it was the science subjects, all of them. I was handed a booklet full of the questions and without much further thought, I went straight down to work. The first question was from biology, and after a while I surprisingly managed to do it. It took even faster to burst my bubble. A friend who was nearby reminded me that we were physics students, and asked why I was looking at the first section of the booklet, which is all biology. The temperature started rising at this point, and it didn't help matters than I didn't have a clue about the questions I am supposed to know about.

Scene three was about exams too, but with a twist. This time we had to complete a paper on the Moral subject. At least we were given a somewhat fair chance. We were to go for a talk before taking the paper. And for whatever reason I was carrying a sword, a good one apparently. After listening to the talk, I bumped into a bratty kid and his father outside the coffeeshop where the talk was held (go figure). He proceeded to boast about his sword. I tried to take it for a while, but finally burst his bubble. Having said my mind, I packed up my stuff and proceeded to head for the classrooms where the exam will be held. My gut told me I left something behind, so I had to check through all my swords. To make things worse, they were identical, but I somehow knew that my best sword was left behind. I had no choice but to rush back and look for it. Somehow, I had a nagging feeling that it would have been in the possession of that bratty kid. Upon reaching the coffeeshop/lecture hall, I found that another class is in session and their stuff was strewn about. Even better, there were a few swords there too. At this point, whatever morals I had about thieving evaporated. I just started searching through the piles of belongings there. In the end I didn't find my sword, but I did find a couple of nice blades, which I took. Disintegration of morals over, I was just about to return to my exam when I awoke with a jerk. Perhaps, the exams in my dreams are more about practical application than I thought.

Yet another boring run

The original plan for today was to get to Youth Park at about 7.30 am to do some training and sign up for the KL International Marathon. Unfortunately, my computer had other plans and stuck itself to my face until about 4 am, so that basically put paid to Plan A. The next option would naturally be Plan B, which is to get to Youth Park at 8.30 am, since the registration drive would be going on until 9.30 am.

Having missed my earlier wake up call, there was some regret in me while I was running to the park. The sun was simply shining too hot, seriously. It was still about 8.45 or so, but it felt like 9 something sunshine (yes, there is a difference). Upon reaching the park, I kind of expected to see a crowd of people for the registration, or at least a few dozen , ok at least, at least a dozen, since the KLIM is quite a big event. Turns out that my expectations were a bit high, since the number of personnel available was about the same as the number of banners there, a handful. Nevertheless, I proceeded to hand over the RM 25 and signed up for the half marathon, which was quite worth it. In comparison, we had to pay RM 50 for the same category in last year's Penang Bridge Marathon in return for crappy organisation and smelly air. And oh yeah, the distance was kinda iffy, and the timing system was straight out of the 60s. For the KLIM, at least there will be a chip timing system and the distance is certified. As for the organisation, all reports from runners say it's more professionally done, but I will wait until I have run the race before I judge.

After signing up, I had a short talk with the personnel there. Turns out that including me, a total of 17 people signed up for the half, with about a dozen others for other distances. That being said, whoever is in the competition doesn't really matter, as a runner I only have control over what I run. Thinking about that made my kiasu-ness kick in. With the sun shining brightly, I proceeded to start my run, rolled up A4 sized receipt in hand and all. I headed for the nearby Botanical Gardens to do some loops and reminded myself to keep this run in the relaxed range.

I did run relaxed, for about the 6 minutes it took for me to run to the gates of the Botanical Gardens, until I saw another pro looking runner passing by just when I was about to start my loop. Next thing I know, the kiasu-ness stepped up a notch. Besides he doesn't seem to be going that fast upon closer examination, an I did not feel like I was expending that much energy to overtake him. The watch however told a different story. So much for pace discipline. At least, I am not feeling the strain at a pace where I would be working hard to keep up a year ago.

3 laps in, the other runner finished his run, so I was left to run alone. On the next loop, I got a better look at this mystery runner. Turns out that he was one of the regulars in local races, which kind of puts things in perspective, with him being a few years younger and never really posing a challenge in those races. After doing 8k or so, I ended the workout. With that out of the way, I took the opportunity to catch up with some news about my old teammates since he's training with them and I am a bit out of the loop.

Apparently, my self training have not gone down well with a few of them. I am taking all this with a pinch of salt, but this does provide an added impetus for me to train harder. The list of people I have something to prove to just increased. Training-wise, my decision to strike out on my own was somewhat validated by what I heard. The kind of training done by my ex-teammates would probably be too strenuous for my bones to take. Anyway, the only way to prove this is in direct competition with them, so I really hope to meet some of them in whatever upcoming races.

Target sighted

Yes, I already have an immediate target. And no, not that kind of target (friends of mine will get this). This much vaunted target of mine is the Kuala Lumpur International Marathon half marathon race. I have about 9 weeks to go before the big event. In the mean time, you, my dear readers will be bored to death by my occasional posts about my preparations for this race.

I will consider this post as the first about my road to KL. With 9 weeks to go, it is time to get serious. There's no point signing up and paying the fees and additional bus fare to be just a face in the crowded procession of humanity. At the very least I must run a respectable time (read: personal best by a loooooooooong margin). With that thought in mind, I stepped on the treadmill at the gym for my first workout. OK, I lied. It wasn't my first workout, in fact I have been in training for since the first day of the year, but the previous part was true.

Anyway, today's treadmill workout was new in someways. For the first time, I set my starting speed at 13.6 kph, with a progression of 0.1 kph every 800 metres or so (see, I said it was going to be boring). At least that was my projected target, though you can never account for any problems along the way, as controlled a running environment as the treadmill is. My initial fears were proven correct, partly. I felt some strain at the start, but upon closer analysis, I was surprised to find that my breathing wasn't that laboured, and I could reasonably expect to keep this pace up for a long time. Being a masochist though, I stuck to the gameplan.

Halfway through my run, something even more surprising than the relative effort needed happened. A quite attractive girl and her dad walked in to my no frills gym. Oh well, at least I have some eye candy to keep me distracted from any running discomfort and I might even get subconsciously motivated (does it even count as subconscious if I was thinking about it even then?). In the end, I hung on until 9.1kilos with a rapid increase in pace the last few hundred metres. Not a bad workout at all.

Having done the cardio part, I proceeded to do my usual gym workout with an added emphasis on the core. Nothing much to talk about here, since what I have written so far should be enough to KO all but the most insomniac.

Runner: A beginner's guide

Maybe you are into the wind blowing in your hair, or maybe it's the feeling of fat burning that gets your heart pumping, or maybe you are just plain masochistic. Whatever the reason, you decide to suffer the stares and whispered exchanges, and decide to become a runner. Congrats to those who take the first step, too bad for those who quit before the next.

Anyway, many of my friends are all gung ho about running in the beginning, and they bombard me with all sorts of questions, like what shoes to buy, how to run and the like. And once they get started, they will be eager to swap war stories with me. Which is all fine and good. Except that most of them probably quit one week in.

Unusually for my usually cold heart, this fact bothers me, probably because I miss swapping war stories. They kinda remind of when I started out. What can I say, I am a sentimental guy ;). But honestly, I really am reminded of when I started out. So I want to give a guide on how to start running, speed demon style of course.

Ok where do I start? Ah yes,the equipment. Basically you need none, but for those of you not into nude running and do not have thick soles, you need a T-shirt, shorts and shoes. For the attire, just wear whatever you are comfortable with, because you will be more inclined to stick with your run if you don't have a constant urge to rip off your shirt or shorts. Same goes for shoes, they have to be comfortable, everything else is secondary. That's why there's no hard or fast rule when it comes to shoe choosing, nor is there any 'good' brand or shoe. It's good if it fits you well, and lets you run in them without getting hurt, that's all there is to it. As to foot types and the accompany type of shoes, I have to admit it's not my area of specialty, so my advice will be limited to the above.

So now you are all kitted out and ready to roll, but where? If you are in less than decent shape, it would probably be wise to start out on more forgiving surfaces, namely trails and fields. Roads would be okay once you get used to the impact. Nevertheless, even seasoned runners do not do all their running on roads. As for location, obviously it must be familiar, lest you end up in the papers as one of those lost hikers.

You are running along your favourite route, or maybe labouring would be more suitable to describe it, and everything seemed to be so different from what you planned, you are beginning to hate it and this is definitely not what you signed up for. What I am talking about is the mental aspect. The physical aspect will take care of itself once you get to a certain level, but getting there will depend a lot on your will. In this area, I can consider myself to be quite proficient, simply because I am such a darn good liar to myself (read my previous post on how I do this). Bluntly speaking, when the going gets tough, you have to use whatever thoughts possible to motivate an unwilling body. The easiest way is to dangle a carrot, think of the good things that will happen if you complete your run. The other more nefarious way is to trick the body into completing it, an example of which is the "just one more corner to go" thought. Once you survived this "battle", you have to think about surviving the "war", since things do get boring in the long run. To do that, you can set yourself
some targets, like a certain level of fitness, or lose a certain amount of weight. Another way to break out of a rut is to vary the location of your runs.

Basically, I covered most of the initial mental aspects of running, but here are some extras. Many of my beginner friends are unwilling to run with me and they back it up with a multitude of excuses, like how they can't keep up with me or I will be too fast for them. I understand that they might not want to come off as arrogant, but believe me, to be a good runner you need a certain amount of arrogance and daring. Runners must not be cowards, and no matter how good your rival appears to be, you still need to believe in your own ability. This is especially true if you want to progress to racing. You might be overmatched, but it's not a sin to hope. The moment you stopped believing that you can be better than your rival, your progress stops.

Thoughts when running

Forgive the clunky sounding title because there is honestly no other way to describe a post about, er, things I think about when I run.

1) "Why the hell is this road so long???". Very common thought, and usually accompanied by a a grimace of agony or anger, depending on whether I feel kickass or kickedass.

2) "Why the hell is this road so fucking long???". When the road in front is really really long and straight. No options on the grimaces this time, agony all the way.

3) "OMG, hot chick at 12 o'clock!!!". Unfortunately scarcer than I would like, and always accompanied by a straightening of my running form, no matter how wrecked I look a second before. Oh, pace increases accordingly, at least that's how it felt.

4) "Bloody open air burners!!!". Very common, in fact getting more rampant. Of course, that increases proportionately with the amount of environmentally ignorant retards who currently inhabit Penang.

5) "So little road, so many cars...". Thought while fervently praying none of those drivers in said cars are at my level of driving skill.

6) "Booooorrrrrriiiinnnnnggggg.......". Number 1 thought while on the treadmill. Unless a hot girl appears, whereupon the 3rd thought applies. 7 out of 10 thoughts while on the 'mill.

7) "Noob.". Another common thought while running ala treadmill. Always directed at the treadmill next to mine. To alleviate the boredom, I glance at the neighbouring treadmill every now and then, and try to envision myself running against a speedy runner, which is proving very hard to do with the people at the gym. 4 out of 10 thoughts on the treadmill, oh wait, it should be 3, or 2 and a half. Darn, told you treadmill running is mind-numbingly boring.

Nearly inevitably, pain and the urge to quit sets in. To counter that, I send, or rather think, forth these troops.

8) "Pain is permanent, glory is temporary.". Perversion of "pain is temporary, glory is forever" which is what I start out trying to think, then mysteriously mutates into it's more quit-friendly cousin. A staple in every run.

9) "You already made it this far, besides if you quit now you have to walk back anyway.". Flashes through mind at the furthest point from the start.

10) "If you can't complete this, how the fuck are you gonna win a real race.". Usually at the point where my delusions of grandeur set in.

11) "Do it for her.". Another misguided thought that my running will impress chicks. Darn, misguided thoughts are getting quite common.

12) "Come on, another minute(treadmill)/corner(road)!!!". Usually a lie, but somehow at that stage my body is stupid enough to believe it, and proceeds to believe the next 53262 similar lies. Yeah, I lie to myself a lot on my runs.

13) "Move it, the next runner is only 10 metres in front." Another lie that comes near the end, because most of the time they are further away, like 20 metres. Usually this is to spur myself to kick harder.

14) "Fast but relaxed." Aimed at my body, immediately after I bust out the kick induced by the previous thought. Darn, the mind is too bloody demanding.

Resolutions

Before any of you slate me for posting about my resolutions this late in the year, let me remind you that it's only 9 days since 2008 existed. Anyway, I do have a reasonably good excuse for this. You see, for daring to spend the first few hours of the new year at a ramshackle bus stop chatting with friends instead of getting drunk and fighting at some nightclub, the ghost of 2007 decided to haunt me, presumably to teach me a lesson. So this ghost proceeds to mess up my internal calendar, leaving me 1 week late in writing what should have been written as soon as the new year starts. Not buying it? Well, me too, but at least I gotta make a shot at making a lame excuse.

Anyway, back on topic. Ah, resolutions, the mere thought of it alternatively bolsters the spirit or sends shivers down the spine, depending on what stuff you are made of. Despite all the hoopla surrounding it, I mean the first thing most people say after greeting each other happy new year is 'Got any resolution or not ah?', I have never felt compelled to put my resolutions down in writing. I do have some hope for the coming year, sure, but most of them are kinda vague and subjective in nature, which kinda explains why most of my achievements are kinda vague and subjective, go figure.

Ok crapping aside, here are my resolutions.
1) I want to master driving. As lame as this sounds, this is probably the numero uno skill I need to have now, because no driving, no 'paktor', no 'kaului'.
2) I want to be a faster runner. Fast enough to get among the top placings in road races. If you insist on being more specific, I hope to run faster than 38 minutes for 10000 meters, 17 minutes for 5000m, 80 minutes for the half marathon. (okay, I added all those numbers to make my blog sound more sophisticated so fire away)
3) I want to get my target.
4) I want to sleep earlier. Too many late nights means too many wasted hours, definitely not good if I am to achieve resolution number 2.

2007 reasons to despair

Ok I lied, it is not humanly possible to list out that many reasons to despair, not to mention no human being would survive that many too, which would have required me to be currently in the state of a vengeful spirit, which would bring untold mayhem to those still in the living world.

Nevertheless I did have quite a few reasons that have given me quite a lot of grief and sadness. And since people do not seem to like to read about happy stuff, I will make a list of thing that have made me experience unhappiness of varying degrees. Yes people, this is my list of failures in the year 2007. They may have happened in 2007 or may have been pre-existent and simply entended themselves into 2007.

1) The failures in things I am passionate about. I failed in my running. I wanted to make an impact in races. But in spite of my best efforts, I never could really make a breakthrough as a winner. Most of it is my fault, I was distracted and didn't have the will to gut it out in training or when racing.

I failed in my writing too, or more specifically my blogging. For most of the year, I was discouraged and felt lethargic when it comes to blogging and didn't update my blog for more than half a year. And when I did feel like blogging again, I failed all over again, and faced the very same pre-hiatus problem, lack of readers. Though I don't really expect any material gain from my blog, it is ego bruising to find noone interested in what you have to say.

2) The failures in things I am less passionate about. They may not be my favourites, but these are the things that matter, at least that's what everybody says. I failed in my studies. Not totally failed, I hope, but I didn't do justice to what I could have done. Throughout the year I just slacked and blamed it on a lack of interest in the subjects. By choosing Form 6 I have damned 2 years of my life to waste, with a few more uncertain ones to come.

I failed to drive. Despite getting my drivers license for quite a while now, I have not really mastered driving. I made excuses when my parents asked me to practice, and I still do now. To be honest, this due to cowardice. Yes, I am afraid of driving on the road. A few close calls during my first drive after getting my license was the reason, even though that was a long time ago.

3) The failure to be a good person. I failed to be myself. Certain situations cropped up and I resorted to wearing a mask to face them. I betrayed my what I stood for in favour of more popular choices.

I failed to be good family. I was a lousy family member, never caring enough, and never bothering to listen. There was tension with my parents, and most of it were due to failure number 2.

I failed to control myself. In temper, in desire for material things, and in emotions. I blew my top more often than I would like, and I still get angry more easily than I hope. I couldn't control my urge to buy new shoes too, and have used up quite a sum on them.

4) I failed in love. I couldn't get the girl I want, even though I had liked her for so many years. Opportunity cropped up time and again, about once every fortnight, but I didn't take it. Most seemed like a gift from the heavens, I chose the hell of doing nothing instead. In hindsight, it was fear and lack of courage (yes, they are different). I feared that anything I do will move her further away from me. I feared that whatever I did would scare her off. Instead of acknowledging the problem, I made excuses to myself, like she is too busy interacting with her family or that she seemed to be preoccupied with something else. I guess I am a liar to myself too. Though I don't think she reads this blog, I will not be more specific in describing her. Precisely because I fear.

In regards to 2007 being over, I will feel no small measure of relief. I hope that come new year 2009, my list will be reduced.