Thoughts when running

Forgive the clunky sounding title because there is honestly no other way to describe a post about, er, things I think about when I run.

1) "Why the hell is this road so long???". Very common thought, and usually accompanied by a a grimace of agony or anger, depending on whether I feel kickass or kickedass.

2) "Why the hell is this road so fucking long???". When the road in front is really really long and straight. No options on the grimaces this time, agony all the way.

3) "OMG, hot chick at 12 o'clock!!!". Unfortunately scarcer than I would like, and always accompanied by a straightening of my running form, no matter how wrecked I look a second before. Oh, pace increases accordingly, at least that's how it felt.

4) "Bloody open air burners!!!". Very common, in fact getting more rampant. Of course, that increases proportionately with the amount of environmentally ignorant retards who currently inhabit Penang.

5) "So little road, so many cars...". Thought while fervently praying none of those drivers in said cars are at my level of driving skill.

6) "Booooorrrrrriiiinnnnnggggg.......". Number 1 thought while on the treadmill. Unless a hot girl appears, whereupon the 3rd thought applies. 7 out of 10 thoughts while on the 'mill.

7) "Noob.". Another common thought while running ala treadmill. Always directed at the treadmill next to mine. To alleviate the boredom, I glance at the neighbouring treadmill every now and then, and try to envision myself running against a speedy runner, which is proving very hard to do with the people at the gym. 4 out of 10 thoughts on the treadmill, oh wait, it should be 3, or 2 and a half. Darn, told you treadmill running is mind-numbingly boring.

Nearly inevitably, pain and the urge to quit sets in. To counter that, I send, or rather think, forth these troops.

8) "Pain is permanent, glory is temporary.". Perversion of "pain is temporary, glory is forever" which is what I start out trying to think, then mysteriously mutates into it's more quit-friendly cousin. A staple in every run.

9) "You already made it this far, besides if you quit now you have to walk back anyway.". Flashes through mind at the furthest point from the start.

10) "If you can't complete this, how the fuck are you gonna win a real race.". Usually at the point where my delusions of grandeur set in.

11) "Do it for her.". Another misguided thought that my running will impress chicks. Darn, misguided thoughts are getting quite common.

12) "Come on, another minute(treadmill)/corner(road)!!!". Usually a lie, but somehow at that stage my body is stupid enough to believe it, and proceeds to believe the next 53262 similar lies. Yeah, I lie to myself a lot on my runs.

13) "Move it, the next runner is only 10 metres in front." Another lie that comes near the end, because most of the time they are further away, like 20 metres. Usually this is to spur myself to kick harder.

14) "Fast but relaxed." Aimed at my body, immediately after I bust out the kick induced by the previous thought. Darn, the mind is too bloody demanding.