What I am about to blog about might get me into trouble, but I don't give a fuck. Certain people have screwed me over, and the people who should have stood up for me didn't, hell, they screwed me over even more, so the fuck I care about damaged reputations. This is a tale with enough treachery and false pretenses to rival Bush's war of terror, set in a school setting of course.
First, some background, since entering Form 6, I have joined the C*unsel*ing Group, note, I do this word masking to at least have some leverage for denial should I get into trouble, but I doubt it, seeing the traffic, or rather lack of, I get in this blog. Anyway, I have had some ideological conflicts with the people in charge, mostly due to me being the fun loving type and them being stuffy sticklers of the rulebook, but things have been fine more or less. From the start, the teacher has always impressed upon us the importance of secrecy and trust, of setting a good example, lest we *gasp* lose our credibility. I even went through a day camp to endure even more talk about this, on the day before my Bridge Run, which is majorly important to me.
Okay, now comes the main part. This tale started 2 days ago, on Wednesday. I usually don't frequent the C*ounsel*ing Room, but on this particular occasion I did. As it was, they have just put up the list of members who have passed the probation period. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to guess that my name wasn't on it. Obviously, I was perplexed, as far as I am concerned, I have fulfilled all the pain in the ass criteria, I didn't miss the camp nor my duty days, and I didn't beat up anyone. Sure, I have had more than my fair share of run ins with the abovementioned committee members, but just because the are taking things too seriously, certainly not enough to sack me.
Thus mystified, I decided to take it up with the teacher-advisor the next day, but I was promptly told to talk to the President instead. Thinking it was a simple clerical mistake, common when you have overworked students moonlighting as secretaries, I thought nothing of it. As luck would have it, the President dropped by my class today to discuss something with a committee member from my class. His appearance was certainly fortuitous, else I would have forgotten to bring it up with him otherwise. Unfortunately, I was shunted aside, yet again, and told to meet him during recess.
Recess came, and I dutifully adjourned to the C*ounsel*ing Room. After settling down, we got ready to discuss the matter at hand. At this point in time, I was still thinking that it was just a simple case of my name slipping through the system. The look on the Prez's face was ominous, but I was still genuinely shocked when the truth of the matter came out. The first question to spring out from his mouth, was one asking me whether I know what this is all about. Well duh, you think I came all the way down for a nice chat? I have Ju Ping for that. Apparently, a few guys, yes guys, have been complaining that I talk about 'dirty' topics, and I don't think they meant dirty laundry, so much so that they feel disgusted. That ticked me off that something wasn't right. If you want someone complaining about obscene talk, at least get a girl, she can plead sexual harassment and whatnot. What guy, guys who have spent a few years in my school no less, would complain about that? Last time I checked, whenever someone said something with sexual innuendo in it, the whole class laughed, boys and girls.
What does that have to do with the absence of my name on the list, you ask? I have been 'left out' of that list because of that, and pending the results of a psyche test. A psyche test? Oh yeah, some more background, last week I took a psyche test which consisted of drawing a few fruit trees. I took the test thinking that it had something to do with my future career prospects, a guide if you like, and the teacher who gave me the test said something along the lines of that.
Anyway, my assumption was about to be torn down. The moment the Prez mentioned the psyche test, I was like 'WTF???', and thought, this couldn't be the test I took last week, can it? This was definitely getting weirder by the minute. Stupidly, I asked the Prez what psyche test? He proceeded to ask me an even stupider question, 'do you know what the test you took last week was for?'. Well duh. My brain cells were obviously dulled by all the math questions I was doing before this meeting, but I managed to put two and two together in the duration between him asking me that question and giving the answer.
The teacher-advisor having heard the allegations against me, arranged for another teacher to give me a psyche test. And I can't believe that I thought there was no ulterior motive. Talk about doing something under false pretenses. So now my reputation depends on some drawings of fruit trees I made while thinking it was for something else, sweet.
After taking a minute to digest the charges levelled against me, and trying to think of even one incident remotely fitting the ones described, I came to the conclusion that it was a premeditated set up. Evidence you ask? I have none, I will admit that, but there are just some things that don't match up. The persons knew I was a C*unsel*ing member, but I don't think many know that, heck I don't even get to freaking wear the badge. While I do tell bawldy jokes every now and then, I am by no means the biggest source of them, and I don't think mine were particularly 'powerful'. Besides that, they were directed to my classmates around me, and I honestly trust that they are close enough with me to not take offense.
Upon gathering taking all that in, I tried to be calm, but it was hard not to be angry. Someone has just performed a character assasination on you, and it was a perfect one too, with me not knowing about it until now. And with the stupid anonymity shit, they don't even have to be held accountable for all the slander. Trying to be reasonable, I asked the Prez whether it was fair to take action against me, just because someone decided to sully my name, and they have heard the people attacking me, but they haven't heard the people defending me. In my heart, I was fucking pissed, haven't they heard of innocent until proven guilty? Aren't the C*ounsel*ing Group supposed to be more open? It's ok to turn your backs on one of your own? To me, this was hypocrisy to the max. Instead of all the caring shit they constantly preach about, I have a dagger stuck between my shoulder blades just because the teacher-advisor wants to protect their image.
Walking back to my class, I was in a funk, and my anger was not tempered by the sight of certain people walking together. I spent the next two periods of MUET doing basically nothing. If the people who are out to get me are in my class, I don't want them to gain any knowledge from what I say. Yes, this sounds egotistical, but MUET is the only subject I can make an impression in, and people actually turn to me for help in. I just feel so betrayed.
When the truth gets out, and it WILL get out, I expect an apology from the parties involved, especially the CG. As of now though, I am thinking of the RM10 I spent for the guidebook, RM13 I spent for the t-shirt, used only once, RM5 for the camp I attended, and how I could get all the money back. It ain't about the money, but I would do anything to hurt them now.
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